Please Help//EX & BK ?'s

[sheenasmom1]

Hello everyone. I am so worried about whats going on I just need some advice. My husband and I don't have an appointment yet with the BK lawyer. He is calling today to get one.

Here's the situation. My husband and I have been married since July of 06. I knew he was having problems with his ex girlfriend and their child and finances, but I love him and will stick with him no matter what. She left him in debt up to his eyeballs. Granted, he knows it was his mistake to get the loans, charge up the cards, get the house, etc all in his name and even co-sign a car for her and her oldest daughter from another relationship. Now he is so far in debt, especially after the courts are going to make him pay almost 1200 a month in childsupport for their one daughter. He has been to BK credit counseling and they say that even without adding in his credit card payments, (almost 1000 a month), he is 380 in the hole. They said a chapter 7 is his only option.

My worry is this. He told his ex and her daughter because he co-signed on their loans and he is trying to give them a "heads up". They are very visious people when it comes to money and keeping them "good and happy". They don't care that he can't make ends meet now, they only care that they, "might lose their cars, house, whatever", due to the fact they can't refinance the cars in their own name.

Is there anything they can do to stop my husband from filing BK? They are so sneaky and devious that I am really worried and we can't get this started soon enough for my liking.

My poor husband is just too nice too them. He obviously was very easily walked all over by them, (and yes, I know someone can't walk all over you if you don't let them), but he has come a long way since then.

They are trying to tell him if he goes through with this, they will lose their house, cars, the daughter's job. My husbands ex girlfriend lives off the state. She won't get a job and the courts are even aware of this and still awarded her all this child support. I know he has an obligation to pay it yes, I agree. But she literally took him to the cleaners in other ways that I don't think she should be able to and will look into another lawyer to check into this.

Can his ex girlfriend stop him from filing bankruptcy because she has custody of their daughter, lives off the state, he is co signer on her car and her daughters and their cars are their only transportation, (minus getting a bus). They are trying to say he is causing my husbands daughter harm by not supporting her enough if he files BK even though this will not effect the child support or day care payments or everything else he has to pay.

PLEASE, someone, anyone. Has anyone ever heard of this?

Thank you for all your time.

[lrprn]

There is nothing your husband's ex or her daughter can do to stop him from filing. As you said, his child support obligation will continue. However, since the house and car are co-signed, then the lender will expect ex and her daughter to pay the home and car loans. They always have the option of filing bankruptcy as well. How old is the child? How old is the ex's daughter?

As long as your husband's filing is on the up and up (no bad faith or fraud involved), even if his ex cries fraud to attempt to stop the bankruptcy process, after an investigation shows no fraud, there is nothing else his ex and her daughter can do but accept the responsibility of the co-signer relationship that they agreed to when they signed on the bottom line.

Be sure to discuss all of this with the lawyer. Also since your husband's situation is not a simple one, make appointments with 2-3 more bankruptcy lawyers as well - most give free initial consultations.

Hang in there - please keep us posted on what you find out, ok?

[miss puff]

I think filing bankruptcy would totally disolve his responsibility on the co-signed loans. This would probably be a good thing. Like lrpn said, he would still have the child support but he could also get a fresh new start with everything else. Tell him not to listen to the ex-she's full of BS!

[Grace]

Co-signers cannot stop a bankruptcy from proceeding. It will, however, leave the co-signers of any loans responsible for the balance. If your husband's ex-girlfriend and/or daughter are co-signers on any of these loans, they will be responsible for repaying those loans in full.

That could certainly cause financial problems for his former family. Financially, there's nothing you or your husband need to worry about. Emotionally, it will be a mess. They will most likely be upset and make threats and harass both of you. You and your husband should do your best to be strong in this situation and conduct yourselves professionally. There are children involved.

[sheenasmom1]

Thank you.

Thank you for all the responses. My husband is only co-signed on his ex-girlfriends car and her oldest daughter's car. The oldest daughter is 21. I was leary of him telling his ex just yet that he was going to need to do this but he did and now the ex has gotten far to "quiet" and "nice" about things. That worries me because she is so "dirty" about getting her way with no thoughts as to the repercussions it has on anyone else. As you have all said, she can't stop him from doing this and believe me we have looked at any and all other options to try and avoid this and there just isn't any. We are sinking fast due to the bills her 21 year old daughter won't pay for that my husband mistakenly put in his name for her and the same for his ex-girlfriend. We are talking a house, 2 cars, new furniture, boob lift, etc. They saw him coming. Now that he won't/can't keep paying for all of these, the daughter especially is pitching a very nasty fit and sending nasty text messages to my husband blaming me for "changing" him to much since we have gotten married. It's not a matter of change so much as it is a matter of taking responsibility for what they said they would pay for and now aren't. The ex-girlfriend I don't think will lose the car. Even though she won't get a job, she makes more than enough just off of the child support from my husband, and the social security off of her other childs father, public aid, etc to more than re-finance that car in her own name now. She just doesn't like the idea of having to do it. The 21 year old however, will probably lose her car. She hasn't paid the car insurance on it in almost a year, she doesn't make her boob lift payments, she is 100% consistantly late with her car payments to the point, my husband has to make them, then hope that she comes up with the money to pay him back. We just can't keep it up and still be able to support our family as well. We feel really bad about having to do what we are doing but there just isn't any other choices.

We have gone over everything in detail as many times as we can and it only seems to get worse every time you look at it. There definately isn't any fraud going on here. Just a nice guy who didn't say, "enough", we can't afford it, when it should have been said. He thought they were trying to make a life together, he thought he was in love, and like I said, I believe they saw him coming. Right now, he owes about 200,000 in debt or so and there just is no way what so ever that we can find to continue to pay on these debts and keep our house and vehicles. I have 4 children of my own, 2 of them still very young and live at home and I can't afford to lose my house and vehicle just to keep my husbands ex-girlfriend in a car and her mother. The ex-girfriend can certainly take a bus, get a ride with a friend. She doesn't go that many places and she lives right next to the grocery store, gas station, etc. She will not suffer, nor will the baby. Worst case scenario, she and her daughter will have to by a cheap used car to get them around in instead of the fancy new cars that they have now. There is no house to lose because they rent.

I will keep you posted on what happens. The BK lawyer is sending us a packet to fill out before we come in for the consulation so we were gathering all the bills last night and man is that depressing.

Thank you for all your support. It's nice to know there is a place to come for that in times like this and not be judged as horrible people.