my head is spinning

[keljo]

After thinking about filing for BK for about 6 months, I am now more seriously considering it. My husband has been working in the car sales industry for 2 years and has had 9 different employers. Prior to that he was on workers compensation for almost a year. I have worked btwn 1-3 jobs and I just can't get ahead anymore. My husband was let go again this past friday and I'm sick. He swears that he will get a job in a week... but typically takes 2-4. He has no clue what this is doing to our finances. If I try to tell him he starts an argument.

I have been emailing a BK paralegal that works in the same firm as one of my friends. She's given me a lot of answers but I don't know what to do. If my husband would get a job at a dealership and be able to make the sales he is capable of.. then I wouldn't have to worry. As it is I can't afford healthcare for him or our son on my job's plan (it would be either healthcare or rent)and am filling out forms for a state plan to help. I bear 95% of the financial responsiblity and just want to get caught up and current again... but I can't get there. I still have the thought that bankruptcy is a horrible stigma and I'm embarrased at thinking about it. Even after reading many of your posts today.

i'm not sure if I'm looking for advice or sympathy or just rambling. This week anything is possible.

[BKOnce]

Gas prices increases... new car sales slow down... hybrid up... more dealers sit waiting .... auto workers lay-off... $loan hard to get... job lossess... economy down.... food prices up... benefits down... population up... old age retirement up.... savings down... unemployment up... insurance rates up.... forclosure up... BK filings up... & oil price stock speculation still go up too.... Damn, we're living in a chaos, turmoil, and a financial destruction century...

[HeatherB]

Not that you were asking for advice/opinions....

I really hate to say this - despite your husband you must do what you feel is right for you. Money is the cause of a lot of divorces. Don't let your emotional and physical being suffer to the point that you give up on everything. With filing bankruptcy, it doesn't have to be both of you. One person/ or the other could file alone. But all he bills that are joint will be discharged through one person and left on the other person't financial responsibility.

I know the burden of being the one solely bringing in the money. I also know the burden of paying a loved one's way while they "claim" it will get better. My situation is different than yours, though.

Good luck with whatever you choose. If you do decide to file, come here for support!

[woeisme]

Are you thinking about CH 7 or 13? I think you can go it alone on a 7 pretty easily, but to make a CH 13 work, you really need your husband working with you as a team, and as involved and committed to the process as you are whether you are filing it joint or separate. The CH 13 budget is based on all your disposable income going to the trustee, so the whole family needs to be involved.

[Bandit]

my head is spinning

yah. my hands are shaking, my face is distressed, my muscles are knotted in my back, I tremble when I open the mail & when the phone rings, I walk around in circles at times, I cry at other times, I jump out of my skin if the dogs bark too loud, I can't focus like I used to... my jaw & teeth hurt from my injury in the cold...I shake when I go to any doctors...you name it...this is a very painful & uneasy time

Gas prices increases... new car sales slow down... hybrid up... more dealers sit waiting .... auto workers lay-off... $loan hard to get... job lossess... economy down.... food prices up... benefits down... population up... old age retirement up.... savings down... unemployment up... insurance rates up.... forclosure up... BK filings up... & oil price stock speculation still go up too.... Damn, we're living in a chaos, turmoil, and a financial destruction century...

yep. & that is only half of the list of a reality check.

[clarkmommy]

I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone. 7 years ago my husband was in an awful car accident while working that nearly cost him his life. He was out of work for quite sometime (also on workers comp) and when he was able to work again he had to find a different line of work due to the injuries. My husband then spent several years job hopping and it killed us financially....well that and medical bills. I nearly left him, but it really came to a head ah, about a year ago (maybe less).....I told him that I just couldn't' do it any longer, he was depressed and he wasn't living up to his end of the bargin (I was carrying the financial burden for our family). I told him if he wasn't willing to get treatment, I couldn't help him anymore and it worked. His accident really changed his life forever, he is not able to work like he use to.....he wasn't able to support his family like he use to and it killed him, it really did. Providing for me and the children so I could stay was a great pride to him, when that was gone he really was heart broken. While I don't know your husband's story, I would really suggest taking to him about seeing a therapist....you would be amazed how depression can present itself. And make the bills a family event so both of you can see what is there and what isn't, that was a huge help for us. Bankruptcy....don't be ashamed. It has really been the best thing that happened to us. We still have our house and our vehicles, and now we have a fresh start and you know what...no one knows. DH did tell his parents but that is the extent of it. No one in your circle of family and friends needs to know.