Advice for those fraught with fear and anxiety:

[Joe Farmer]

BK is a PROTECTION to people is this country. It is NOT a crime, and you are NOT applying for welfare. If you follow the goofy paper requirements you will sail through it. If you are worried about creditors calling CHANGE your phone number. And if you are terribly unnerved about attending the 341 ask your doctor for a mild sedative- there is no need to give yourself a panic attack or a HEART attack over a BK. As far as any shame, well- newsflash- it's a tool the rich use DAILY to protect their assets, so take heart that you are simply using a legal tool to restructure your life. Relax....maybe even prepare for this as though you were preparing for an elective surgery? (Sorry- the agony I read and sense in here drove me to pontificate!)

[keepmine]

I suggest people take the emotion out of the process and just look at it as a business decision. You have to act in a manner that is in your best interest.And, when it comes to debr and collection issues, sometimes your best interest and your creditors best interest diverege.
As someone on another site put it-"in any credit related transaction, there is risk to the borrower and risk to the lender and sometimes, those risks are realized for both parties".

[Flamingo]

BK is not a crime but BK carries with it a stigma that affects people emotionally that they have become a failure in something. All of us are brought up to be achievers and succeed but for whatever reason (be it overuse of credit cards, gambling, excessive shopping, a major medical occurance, loss of income and unable to pay bills, etc.), the rug is pulled out and we are at a place we have never been before and the anxiety and stress can send even the strongest person over the edge (I know, I felt it for months back in 2001/2002 trying not to file).

Many people cannot fathom the thought of giving up everything they own or having to be put on a five year budget of payments to pay things back. So the emotions hit at first trying to put the situation into perspective and what can be done. You can see when one first comes on this forum (new poster) all the questions and anxiety because it is something totally new and that person never expected to be in the place they are in, or they knew they had a lot of debt but throught they could get out of it without filing. All it takes is the job loss with a high debt load and the black hole downward spiral opens wide.

For those of us who have already filed a Chapter 7 or Chapter 13 and have been through it and have experienced all the ups and downs that do occur, you can state all you want to a new posters who has never experienced this before and you cannot take your experience and give it to them via one posting. It will take years before they find out they did not have to flip out in the first place but that have to travel that road and learn to get there. It's hard to tell someone to calm down and ignore the wolf at the door that all will be fine...it will be fine after a few years but it is not at that specific moment.

[Lajazz947]

Thanks for this post.

I am not one of the panicked potential filers since I know that I got into this for several reasons, all valid ( stupid but valid)

A fraud of close to $300,000 by a former childhood friend that I am in litigation for now. )Attorney expenses are killing me.)

That caused a legal issue with my contractor who I paid but on top of everything is trying to rip me off with charges for work not done or covered under contract. I have had to counter-sue and now going through discovery with a case management conference in a week and he has a mechanics lien which perversely might help me in a BK for home exemption purposes (again, more attorney fees though)

Use of credit to cover a home remodeling that was supposed to be paid for by that investment. (boy did I EVER learn not to count on anything but cash in hand)

Loss of extra monthly income of $4500 in 2007.

I never overspent, went on vacations, (3 years ago was last one) or bought expensive frivolous items on credit.

BK really IS a tool and everybody is in it for themselves. At the end of the day the TT wants money, the creditors want money and you want to keep it.

The worst that can happen is a 5 year plan on a budget and after all if we had all done this in the first place we would not be here in this mess, isn't that right?

[Flamingo]

The worst that can happen is a 5 year plan on a budget and after all if we had all done this in the first place we would not be here in this mess, isn't that right?

How true but today's world has us geared to buy, buy, buy and you have to have more and look better than your neighbor and have one up on everyone else. "If you don't buy this product or item, the world will look down on you as scum so to be something purchase it no matter what it costs." You get the idea.

Budgets went out the window when credit cards appeared on the scene decades ago. No one ever heard of anyone filing bankruptcy at that time or prior to that time unless it was a big business venture gone bad.

Unfortunately some folks don't even learn from having to file bankruptcy and go right back on the same path they were programmed to be in the first place. If one can learn to avoid the "being one up on everyone else" factor, one can easily stay on a budget and live within their means. One just has to learn to say no, don't need it, don't want it, etc.

[Lajazz947]

You are so right.

My wife's 2004 Volvo XC 90 is in the shop for a transmission issue and we had a to rent a KIA SUV.

Not nearly the quality of car but you know what? It feels kinda cool to drive a small SUV with great gas mileage and cloth seats.

No issue here with scaling down.

Thanks again for your post.