Need to Vent?

Okay, there's a lot of great threads out there that are turning into vent sessions and just making other members upset (myself included). If you need to vent - post it here, we'll offer our sympathy and we'll try not to get defensive and/or pissy.

Okay :)

Warning! Vent coming.

Damn Lottery

Vent over.

:yes2: :yes2:

I AGREE.................. :blink: :blink:

AND AT TIMES "ALL OF US" NEEDS TO VENT :aggress: OR :cry: - DURING BK!!

MINNY :beee:

Another vent...

Damn... forgot to buy lottery ticket Saturday...

Vent over...

Going back to finish watching Godzilla...

I feel like a cry baby, and I have always been so strong. I feel like this is really the end for me. I was charging like paris Hilton, the only difference is Im not her.

It's okay, it will be okay. You will go through a whole wheel of emotions and it's not going to stop upon discharge.

From what I've gathered you go through feeling scared when you're preparing, ashamed while you're filing, relieved after your 341 and frustrated after discharge. And then you start moving on with your life - it'll be disappointing, you'll get denied for credit, you'll wish you never did it and then you'll be relieved that you did it. It'll be a never ending circle, which is why you can't take bankruptcy lightly. But now you'll learn to live with in your means and you may start to have a savings account. So you won't be all Dolce and you won't be sipping martinis at the hottest clubs, so your house won't have fancy furniture, so your car won't be pimped out. There's a kind of happiness that comes about looking at things you've out-right purchased and being proud that you got it because of your hardwork and not your credit score.

Okay quick pity party for me ... my life has blown the last 6 months. Graduated from college (good), got a job in my field (great), with lousy pay, even worse insurance, dad fell two stories out of a tree and broke his neck, broke up with a boyfriend of 2 years, ex got married and decided to sue me, had to move home, etc. I decide to file bankruptcy (good), but my lawyer isn't on the ball - keeps lying about dates things would be done and were done, and now my Trustee is a partner in my ex's law firm! When is this damn luck going to change?!

:cry: :cry: FOR YOU!!!! HEREKITTY....

SOUNDS LIKE MY HOUSE.............

Bank still has my land, Trustee still has my house..... and I'm 14 months into a Chapter 7.......DUH... :blink:

At the office - one is out on medical (open heart surgery), one is in Iraq (Nat. Guards), one is on vacation, one got fired this week for METH (smart move there), one crying cause her hair dryer burned up this morning............... and 2 are in the process of divorce.....

Talk about PROBLEMS..........

AND I HAVEN'T HAD A VACATION YET THIS YEAR!!!!!
:cry: :cry:

Now that I'm thru "whining", what's for lunch???

LOL

Minny

Went through bankruptcy and still struggling. I don't know what to do. I figured out my bills and income and the bills still win out. I am really living close to the edge.
Do I find someone and get married to have two incomes? That wouldn't be fair to that person.
Do I sell my car that I only owe two more years on at $159.70 a month?
Do I sell my house? My payments are 573.26. I don't have anyone to move in with.
My child support is $690.00 per month. Can't do anything there.
I have nothing else to sell. I work from 9:00AM to 7:00PM.
I practically sit in the dark with the air turned up.
My refrigerator basically has condiments in it.
Sad thing is I work full time and make decent money but yet I suffer still.
Sometimes I think it would be better for all if I wasn't around. I'm tired of being worried and scared.

I guess I have vented.
Jeff

Jeff in SC,
Take in a roommate for a while, a good one though....... to help with those expenses.
Do a background check on them, lock up your valuables, and work out details with them on rent, utilities, etc.
Let them pay half, buy your own groceries.....

Lots of single guys struggle, just like single girls do....
Its hard to maintain a home on just one paycheck coming in. Believe me, I know.......

Just a thought,

Minny

Thanks Minny,

I'm not trying to find reason for your suggestion not to work but I am in a two bedroom house and I have three daughters. My stupid ex had my daughter checked for sexual abuse, by me, as a court ploy while we were going through the divorce. That will never be forgiven!!! I've never, nor would I, touched my children or anyone elses. Due to all this there is no way that I would have a roommate.

Jeff

Jeff, that is unforgiveable. That is a crime against you and your children. I understand your position more than you can imagine. The sad thing is that the woman will not face any law enforcement repurcussions and even though the allegations must have proved unfounded if she continues someone may eventually buy it.

Just to let you know that the anger and FRUSTRATION is normal for someone who has been falsely accused. dealing with family members etc... can be difficult in your situation. And you are right, you are likely on a state list just because of the accusation (7-10 years). It is normal to feel like everyone thinks you are guilty. My advice to you is to be careful what you do. You right NOT to bring in a roommate. An animal like her will likely accuse someone else and involve an innocent human being.

I will PM you later, we are appearently going to whacked by a Hurricane and my Town is gonna' be very close to the eye as it now so i've some home care issues right now. You will get through this, I have had an odd life, riches, near rags, homeless (three days), down lower than you think and pulled out. I know more than you think about bad situations that other people put you in. I'm not saying BK & such was someone elses fault, that's me, however some situations are pressed on you by unreasonable people who ally with their family members and you may be alone. You will be OK in the end and believe me life changes drastically over the years. I KNOW, I passed through a nightmarish HELL from 88=91 and i sympathize with you. I can't help you with money but i can help you get through it.

Granted, it's not a lot of money - but "secret shopping" may help you out a bit, most people who do it are women and a lot of companies will request a man.

There's a couple different sites, if interested - private message me. How it works is you get a little bit of money and reimbursements to judge customer service. For instance, you'll get $10.00 to do a grocery store, plus a $20.00 reimbursement. You buy your groceries, do your report and then they reimburse you, so you'd get a check for $30 the next month. They have them for restaraunts, they'll tell you to go around a certain time frame and then they reimburse you for the expense plus like $2.00. But watch out, some are a little scam-y. I've worked with four different companies - granted they take time and it's not like you'd get rich, but you can pick and choose which ones you want. I made $80 one month.

OK here is my real vent:

Pissed because since we filed all we have is rent and utilities and still have trouble making ends meet. Me -I am working 16 hours days in two dead end jobs just to make ends meet. Lost our house and my wifes car because she would not get off the coach and do anything. She has spent the better part of last 3 years working part time or no time(been fired 3 times). I have been working 60+ hours every week since she lost the first job and she gripes at me when I don't get stuff done around the house. I have probably already borrowed 20 grand from father and I am getting tired of it. (I know he is) We have 3 dogs that I love but I can't see staying with her for the next 10 years just for the dogs(and I know she will put up a fight for them if we divorce). I know a hard decision has to be made but I haven't been able to pull the plug on our marriage, yet. I have decided if things don't turn around by Christmas I am going to split. I still have ambition and big plans for my future. I just can't see much of a future w/ her. She just seems to pull me down like a boat anchor.

Vent over

Jeff in SC
SORRY - didn't know about the 3 daughters - ROOMMATE - OUT OF THE QUESTION................unless its female.... (and I'm sure your EX would object to that also - with kids there).....
Don't know what to tell you to change the situation.....you can only "cut corners" so much.....then there's nothing else to cut back on...

I know lots of guys who are "raising" their kids.....I really admire them!! And yes, its a struggle for each of them....

Wish you luck - but am out of suggestions on how to solve your problem.....??

Best Wishes, Minny

Robivi3,

I see the weather report says "IT'S RAINING ON YOUR PARADE TODAY - "HURRICANE STYLE".

Hope you weather well thru it my friend!!!

Minny

Thanks robivi3, herekitty and Minnymouth. I really appreciate the advice that you all have given me. I appreciate the encouragement too. My ex really did play dirty in court. People always tell me the "what goes around comes around quote". I keep waiting.
It seems like I will never get through this thing. My dad passed away three weeks ago. He was taking care of and had power of attorney for my 92 year old grandma. Once he passed my aunt, his sister, wasn't worried about taking care of her mother.She was worried about where my grandma's possessions are and wants to see a full record of the "books". We, my sisters and I, are trying to do everything possible to get grandma covered by Medicaid since the Nursing home is owed $28,000.00. My dad had been supllementing my grandma for the past several years to the tune of $200,000.00 to $300,000.00 dollars. My Aunt hardly comes to see her. She lives about 3 and 1/2 hours away.
The problem I am dealing with now is that my mortgage belongs to my grandma and I am behind 6 or 7 payments. My dad was okay with that because he knew of my struggle in taking care of my three kids and myself. I had offered to refinance and start over on my loan if I could somehow qualify. Anyway, I am worried that now because I am behind and because my Aunt is looking for money that isn't there that I am going to get in trouble. My life has been one constant worry. I am about at my wits end.
The ironic thing is...my grandma should have never been in this position of having to qualify for Medicaid. My grandma had a restaurant in Ohio that was very successful and had been doing business for over 30 years. I am sure it had to worth a million or so. They owned the strip mall that it was in too. Anyway, it was lost because my cousin, the same Aunt's son, lived high on the hog and sucked it up his nose in the form of cocaine. Now his mom, my Aunt, has the nerve to think that there should be things and money that she should be inheriting from Grandma after my dad, my sisters and I have been taking care of grandma with NO help from her for many years. I don't know what to do. It's a shame that we can't grieve over the loss of my dad due to my Aunt being such a greedy person.

robivi3...I hope you are doing okay through the storm.

Jeff in SC,
You didn't say who was in charge of your dad's estate or your grandma's affairs.....??
If your dad was her guardian.....and your dad has passed away...someone else has to be appointed guardian of her affairs...
Are you in charge of your dad's estate?
As a son of your father, you children are entitled to your dad's portion of your grandma's estate if there is one....
If your aunt is in charge of grandma's affairs, then she can and might evict you to be able to sell the house.....
If that's the case, don't pay her another dime....save your money! You'll need it.....
If she's NOT in charge, you can apply to be in charge of your grandma's affairs to represent her. You can be appointed by the court. Or your grandma can "appoint" you to represent her as long as she is still in her right mind... It's called a "Power of Attorney". If your dad handled her affairs then probably he may have had POA, which may designate a alternative if he is not living....(you need to check into this)..
Being a POA does not mean that you are responsible for her debts, it just means that you can handle her affairs under guidelines of the law to pay her debts and maintain records of what you do.

If I can help in any way, let me know..

Minny

Just a note,
If your grandma appointed someone else to be in charge of her affairs (possibly your dad).....you aunt has "no say in the matter" - your grandma is still living!!!
Unless your dad's sister is in charge of your grandma's affairs -
There's NO REASON that anyone has to make an "accounting" to her for anything. Now after your grandma passes on - that's a whole new ballgame!!! It becomes your grandma's estate in question.
If you are executor to your dad's estate and your grandma's affairs are part of that estate, then that puts you temporarily in charge of your grandmas affairs also....now. You may have to apply to the court to stay in that postion if it exists....
Check into these.....
Minny

Thanks again Minny. My dad had power of attorney. Once he passed my sister gained power of attorney. There are three houses that my grandma owned. I am buying one. My dad was buying one from her until he refinanced his to pay off grandma for nursing home expenses. Then my sister is renting one from her. It is the same sister who has power of attorney now. Unfortunately she is having to get hers sold to help get my grandma qualified for Medicaid. My mortgage is being sold to an outside investor to also help liquidate her assets, pay off the nursing home and get her qualified for Medicaid once this money is gone.
My Aunt is trying to claim fraud on my dad. I really don't think he had done anything fraudulent. He took great care of his mom. He probably supplemented her enough to pay for all three of the houses. His bookkeeping, to be frank, wasn't the best. He had battled cancer and a lung disorder through all of this as well (about the last five years). Before he died he wasn't capable of doing things that he had done so well in the past.
It's just incredulous to me that my Aunt, my dad's sister, has not even asked to take care of her mom. She's just worried about losing things that aren't there to be inherited anyway. She was notorious for taking things out of my grandma's room at the assisted living facilty.

Thanks So Much,
Jeff

Jeff, I'm sorry you are going thru all this. My mom and uncle were the same way when my grandma died. I shouldn't have been surprised how greedy they were, knowing them like I do, but I was. They even bickered about the pillows on the couchs and the pictures on the walls. I have never been so disgusted and disheartened in all my life. She even left over $90,000 to them cash not counting other assests , property, and jewelery, and they have yet to put a stone over her grave. She died in '91. If I could afford to I would have done it years ago. I know all this doesn't help your situation any except to say that I know how it feels. And on a side note, I'm from SC too :)

Thanks Babycakes,
When my dad died I didn't expect anything. My stepmom called me to the house and gave me some of his shirts that fit me and a lot of his rings. I didn't ask for a thing but that was nice. I just don't understand greed like that. When my grandfather died my Aunt "just knew" that he had an insurance policy with her as a beneficiary. So the day of his funeral instaed of grieving she was going through all the drawers and his suits to find that policy. There wasn't one. Glad to meet a fellow South Carolinian babycakes.

jEFFNSC,

Been there, done that!! FOR SURE!!!

My mom lived with me for the last 18 years of her life - last 4 bedridden.... (everybody else was out-of-state).

When mom's estate (in the hole) was settled I accounted for all funds - but one nickel..........

Had years of itemized receipts for everything (I'm also a bookkeeper).....I showed where every dime went.....

Yet, my brothers throwed a fit - wanting to know where THEIR SHARE WAS!!!! To this day, one of them doesn't speak to me and the other still thinks I did them wrong. My mother had "no assets" when she died other than a few old peices of furniture and some homemade quilts.....

Me, I had to claim bankruptcy to get out from underneath the debt I created for myself - (cc debt, 2nd mortgage, etc) trying to survive, keep my mother in my home, and make ends meet.

If you have the "support" of your sisters - be so thankfull!!!
Dont worry about an Aunt that NOW WANTS TO BE INVOLVED....

Sounds like she was about as interested in her mom and my brothers were in theirs!!!! OUT OF SIGHT - OUT OF MIND!!!

Understand where your coming from,

Minny

Thanks Minny,
It sounds like you have been through it too. It's going to be interesting when she and my cousins get here tomorrow to look at "the books". My dad's wife can't stand her anyway. I have a hard time trying to figure why people are so greedy. All I want to do is just make it in this world but yet I struggle to so just that. I don't want the big house, fancy car or other peoples possessions. I'll let you know how this weekend turns out. Wanna come referree??? LOL. Big hugs to everyone for all their help.

Jeff

When my oldest brother told me "he'd see me in court" - I told him "waste your money on a lawyer - it's not going to change all the receipts".....

Been 4 years, and still haven't been called to court...

Minny

I'm wondering if they are just making threats too. I don't thinks so though. I think they are too stupid to do the math and figure how much it costs to have someone in a nursing home. This is more than ridiculous. My sister suggested we add up everything that my dad has paid, divide it in half, and send my Aunt a bill saying that "this is what you owe".The woman will go off...she's as mean as a snake.

:D :D
I told my uncle (executor of mom's estate) that I could go to court and let the boys pay thier share of the following:

1. funeral expense
2. 2nd mortgage on my home - to pay sitters while I work
3. debts on cc - she did not have SS benefits (did not qualify) so most medical items were bought by family
4. My vacation pay and sick pay I used to pay sitters with.

And much more that I could list......

ESPECIALLY - my "sitting services" - 7 days a week,14 hours a day, for 4 years....... (sitters only worked 9 hrs a day 5 day a week) THE REST OF THE TIME I HAD HER!!

My uncle just "shook his head"....

WONDER IF THEY WOULD LIKE TO REIMBURSE ME FOR MY EXPENSES................?????

Don't worry too much about your aunt. Tell her when all expenses are tallyed - your sister will send her a bill for - "her share" of the cost of taking care of her mother.

You won't hear another word out of her, probably....

Keep me posted, let me know about the weekend meeting,

Minny

I'll help ya in anyway I can.......

Suggestions, morale support, etc.

Minny

Thanks Minny,
I have read several of your posts on here today. You are a wealth of information. I appreciate the suggestions and moral support too.

Jeff

P.S.

I Love this suggestion that you gave us!!!

"Don't worry too much about your aunt. Tell her when all expenses are tallyed - your sister will send her a bill for - "her share" of the cost of taking care of her mother."

I got a phone call from a close friend the other day.

Before my bankruptcy proceedings, I had confided in someone that I thought was a good friend about my financial difficulties and hardships. I also told her that I was going to have to surrender my car, and a list of other things. Prior to this, she and her husband had wanted to buy my car from me, but I owed much more than the car was even worth. I told them this as well.

After filing, I did end up surrendering my car, and the bank gave me all kinds of hell for it, and I couldn't figure out why. They wanted the car, and they wanted it ASAP, calling me three-four times every few hours. It was really strange, considering they were openly breaking the law by even contacting me.

Well, come to find out, my friend's husband, went behind my back, and was offering to come and get the car in the middle of the night, go to my work place, and everything, and get the car, and pay the bank $2500.00 for it. He was really pushing this guy, because he wanted to get this car, and get a discount on it. His wife at one point had even asked me if I would mind if they bought the car from the bank once they took it back! I specifically told her that it would really hurt me if they did that to me, and she said they would leave it alone. I also had told her all the things that needed to be fixed on the car, and everything else.

So anyway, this friend of mine is a real estate agent, and hadn't had my number in a while. She had overheard this guy at the bank telling the owner all of this, some months back. She also recently did a real estate transaction with this guy, and he screwed her over every which way but loose, and she is now in court suing them for false documentation, and a host of other problems.

So she called me up, and told me about all of this, and what's going on. I have remained friends with these people this whole time, and now I don't want anything to do with them. I am really really really hurt and offended by all of this.

So anyway, that's my vent for this day. :(

I guess you never know people! But hey - what goes around, comes around - she got hers after what she did. See Jeff - soon it'll be you too! By the way, you should go into the Private Message link at the top - I emailed you the list.

I guess you never know people! But hey - what goes around, comes around - she got hers after what she did. See Jeff - soon it'll be you too! By the way, you should go into the Private Message link at the top - I emailed you the list.


I agree... what goes around comes around. It still hurts though. I feel that I can't trust ANYBODY.

I know what you mean - I have alot of friends that are only around when they need me and not vice versa - I know we are more "online" chatters - but we luv yah tinroof!

I know what you mean - I have alot of friends that are only around when they need me and not vice versa - I know we are more "online" chatters - but we luv yah tinroof!


:D

:yahoo:

tinroofrusted,
Sorry your so disappointed in your "friends".....
I know your "young" and want to "trust your friends", but there are very few friends in your lifetime that will be "true friends"....
I can probably count on one hand "lifetime" friends...
Those that are there thru the good, bad, sad, and the in-betweens.....
I have "true friends" that I have known 50 years, went to grade school with them....also others I've known 20 years or more...
And yes, lots of people are "users" - I have friends like that too.... They come around when they "want something" or have a problem they want you to cure for them!
I have "office friends" THAT I DISCUSS NOTHING WITH!!
Mainly because they are just "gossips"......with nothing else to do but carry tales to another.... And I'm one whose "personal life" is NOT KNOWN AROUND THE OFFICE...
Sorry your so disappointed in people you thought were friends and confided in....
In the future as you get a little older you'll be able to tell "real easy" which ones are "true friends" and which ones aren't.

WE REALLY DON'T "KNOW YOU" HERE ON THE FORUM, BUT MANY OF US "SURE DO LIKE YOU"!!!!!

SO HERE'S A "HUG" - from Momma Dee (my nickname at home)

Just a thought,

Minny

Hey herekitty and minny,

herekitty,
Thank you for the information. I am definately going to try that. It would be nice to just make it in this World by working my 40 hour a week job but I guess I need to do what I have to do. Hopefully it will get easier once my children are grown.
I tried to send you a PM but it said I had typed too many characters. Sorry.

Thanks Again!!!
Jeff

Minny,
Guess what? My Aunt and cousins didn't come to "see the books" like they had threatened. My sister checked with our attorney and you are right. He said there is nothing they can do until grandma passes away. I guess they will continue to make their threats though.
I did find out something from my sister that I think is hilarious. She told me that in the Will it states that if my Aunt passes before my grandma that anything that was intended to go to my Aunt would go to my Uncle. HER EX-HUSBAND!!! My grandma has nothing left but it's just funny that my cousins, who have their hands out, are way down the line!!! My Uncle is not their dad by the way. So they probably would have been shut out altogether. Jokes on them!!!

Thanks Again!!!
Jeff

Divorce?
My biggest fear is not being able to make it on my own as a single parent. With no job at present, future childcare expenses and "now" living in the EXPENSIVE "windy city", I again feel trapped. I want to split but I'm really affraid.
I'm thinking of going on welfare just to get away and possibly going back to school. This seems like a dead end to me.......

tinroofrusted,
Sorry your so disappointed in your "friends".....
I know your "young" and want to "trust your friends", but there are very few friends in your lifetime that will be "true friends"....
I can probably count on one hand "lifetime" friends...
Those that are there thru the good, bad, sad, and the in-betweens.....
I have "true friends" that I have known 50 years, went to grade school with them....also others I've known 20 years or more...
And yes, lots of people are "users" - I have friends like that too.... They come around when they "want something" or have a problem they want you to cure for them!
I have "office friends" THAT I DISCUSS NOTHING WITH!!
Mainly because they are just "gossips"......with nothing else to do but carry tales to another.... And I'm one whose "personal life" is NOT KNOWN AROUND THE OFFICE...
Sorry your so disappointed in people you thought were friends and confided in....
In the future as you get a little older you'll be able to tell "real easy" which ones are "true friends" and which ones aren't.

WE REALLY DON'T "KNOW YOU" HERE ON THE FORUM, BUT MANY OF US "SURE DO LIKE YOU"!!!!!

SO HERE'S A "HUG" - from Momma Dee (my nickname at home)

Just a thought,

Minny


Minny- I appreciate the thoughts. But when you have been around people, closely for 7+ years, you forget yourself and think that you can trust them.

I have learned that when it comes to money matters, you can't trust ANYONE, except for a very limited amount of people.