Every day begins with my wanting to die

[deadmanwalking]

I am so ashamed. Things were so much better than this. How could I let it get this low? The only thing that has kept me alive is my wife and two children, and the thought of them being left with nothing. If I had a large insurance policy on myself I think I would have take my life already.

My wife does not know how much I have destroyed our lives. The foreclosure date is 10 days away. She has no idea of this. I have stalled the foreclosure lawsuit for 2 years, but to no avail. I made some decent money last year and expected to be able to sell the condo quickly, but instead I wound up daytrading the money away in an attempt to pay off my mortgage debt and tax lien. I have a large amount of equity in our home. But the foreclosure date is next week, and I don't know what to do.

I am working like mad to fix it up and try to sell it. But even if I file Chapter 13, how much time will this buy me to sell it at all? And will anyone pay market value when they know what dire straits I am in? I have an impending job which may make me enough money to pay a Chapter 13 plan. But I don't have a steady income now. Won't they just throw this case out and take my home if there is nothing NOW to verify? If only I had an extra 3 months, I could sell the house comfortably. How can I buy this kind of time? I am getting a consultation with an attorney tomorrow, but that will cost thousands I can ill afford. Is there a way to get more time from the court to sell my house if I don't have a contract in hand?

If I lose this house after all the chances I've had, I don't know what I will do. I have failed utterly, and the shame I feel reaches into my soul.

[FilingOnMyOwn]

Once again:

Yeah I think this is a good time to go look in the mirror. And slap yourself. Do you think for one second that your kids would rather have money than you? Imagine 20 years from now and you were gone. Your kids may be into drugs, on the streets, in bad relationships/alternative lifestyles, or end up JUST LIKE YOU. Is that what you want? Are you going to let that happen? Or let it make you stronger and empower your children to live the life you never had? Money alone won't do it. They need YOU. Now slap yourself again. Repeat process. You're only a failure in your own eyes.
__________________

[13inOR]

YES--and after you get done slapping yourself, slap yourself again........
Really though, your appointment with the attorney is a smart move. But I also think you should come clean with your wife so the two of you can tackle this together. I think she would appreciate that. The chapter 13 can stop all foreclosure proceedings immediately if that is what you want. We have a chapter 13 and the bulk of the $3500 fee is in the plan, all we had to pay was a $500 retainer, and about $125 filing fee up front. I know that seems like a lot, but for us it was well worth saving the house if you can possibly come up with it. That was our experience anyway.

[redeagle]

Sorry to hear this

Many here have said good things which make sense. Don't carry this load by yourself. Involve your wife. What I did was until I started to gain relief was I had to stop fighting to hang on to what I had.. I made a conscious descision that they can have what I have I don't care and I really meant it.. It may sound weird but give up the stuff and file for bankruptcy.. It's that fighting in worrying about how you will keep things is what is making it even harder. Of course if you can in some way maneuver things to keep something you should, but if you realize you can do this then let it go. File for Bankruptcy.. Maybe a lawyer can give you advice.. I am sorry I don't know all the answers but don't give up you are worth more than that. And others have survived seemingly unsurmountable circumstances and come out of it... Stay cool.. take a deep breath and just relax and start to come to the resolve that those things don't matter if you lose them you will still be alright.. Don't feel ashamed you are worth more than things.. I mean it..

[seanpwarren]

If you have a lot of equity in the house, get a second mortgage and use that to get yourself straight financially, while you spend time getting your self straightened out emotionally. Definitely get your family involved. Then find a bank that will loan based solely on the equity in your home.

[BassBoy]

If someone is in financial trouble (ie, lost income, no icome or too much debt), anyone who would give a loan in this situation, and IMHO, is a predatory lender.

[seanpwarren]

Like I said, temporary solution to get on his feet, if he can do that. Most people who will offer a second mortgage aren't really "predatory" lenders because they are in second position, and they have very little recourse if they try to foreclose, because the primary mortgage takes precedent.

[BassBoy]

I understand what you're saying Sean, but if someone is having a hard time paying their bills as it is, why add an additional expense, like a second mortgage. If the situation is looking grim, a second mortgage may only prolong the inevitable, not prevent it. The other point I would like to make is even though there may be a potential new job in the near future, you can't count your chickens before they hatch. Get your feet wet with the new job, and if that goes well, then maybe look at a second mortgage to catch up and get back on your feet.

Yes, there are plenty of lenders that will give a second mortage to anyone with enough equity to do so, but again, if the lender is wise enough to look at the applicant with a little more diligence, they would see that it could be risky to give any kind of loan when there is no reasonable way to repay it. The lenders that would give a loan to someone in a bad situation like this, IS a predstory lender. I agree with you, not all lenders are predators.

[edwards2]

deadmanwalking...how are you? based on your post you should have already consulted with an attorney. How did it go? Believe us we all have felt or are feeling your despair. Being in financial trouble does that. But all is not lost and you will get through this. Yes it will be painful but you can and will survive. On the second mortgage - we got ours years ago from Countrywide and we were very happy with them. They are not considered predatory lenders but they do have "umbrella" companies who do cater to people with credit issues. Their interest rates are not low of course but they are far from ones from too predatory lenders. You just have to do what you have to do and if it means a second mortgage...by the way how have you held off the mortgage company this long?

[debtisbad]

deadman,

I feel your pain. My filing is today and I am anxiety ridden and sick. My husband is doing nothing to help. He is still acting like mr. big man on campus. He used to have a very high paying job. He is still living like that. It is a fight over even what the thermostat is setting on. I turn it back to 70, turn around and it is back on 75. I was giving my son 20 dollars this am to go on a field trip, and he (and his mother) say son needs 30 dollars so he can buy soveniors sp?. I am not allowed to mention anything about watching our dollars. Husband gets mad and says "if you don't quit watching every penny I spend I will divorce you!" The real pain was last night. I took son to baseball practice. Some of the moms were there talking about having pizza parties, spending money on tshirts, talking about the new "big" houses they were building. Oh and my son does not want me to pick him up at school tonight after his field trip. Says he will be embarrassed by my car. Said "I do not want my friends to see your car". This car is 10 years old and has been paid for for 9 years. I feel like dying too.