Announcement

Collapse

Forum Rules (Everyone Must Read!!!) (updated: 04/28/2015)

Welcome to the Bankruptcy Forum. Bankruptcy (BK) Forum is known as BKForum.com and will be referred to as BKF hereinafter. In order to ensure a long term success of our vibrant community, we have established certain rules and guidelines to which everyone must adhere to. Please take your time to carefully read our rules, before you start to participate in the community.

Things you agree to do:
BKFORUM.com (BKF) users agree to use the search function before starting a new thread. This prevents duplicate discussions and allows for better organized topics.

All BKF users agree to read the sticky posts which may be available at the top of a forum page. These Sticky posts often contain valuable information. They may also outline more rules and guidelines specific for that particular forum, stickies are put in place by that forums moderator(s) or admin(s).

Things you agree not to do:

All BKF users agree not to call people names or write a post simply to make a personal attack, or get a negative reaction; this behavior is not allowed on our forum. The use of derogatory language aimed at anyone will be severely dealt with. There is no need to agree with each other, or to even like each other. However, by signing onto BKForum.com you agree to treat each member and guest with the respect they deserve. No threats or personal attacks will be allowed.

All BKF users agree not to discuss, engage, or encourage any behavior or activity which violates the law. Discussion of drugs, violence, murder, theft, vandalism, fraud or any other issue which could be used to help individuals break the law is strictly forbidden.

All BKF users agree not to "bump" old threads, unless there is a specific benefit to the community by doing so. But in most cases, please don't post in very old threads, instead start new threads.

All BKF users agree not to attempt/use another members account. It is against BKF rules to use any account other than your own. Impersonating another member will result in an immediate ban. It is also against the rules to open more than one account in your own name without permission from a moderator or administrator. If you have been banned for any reason, it is against the rules to open another account. If you were banned temporarily and you are caught using another account you will be banned permanently. Choosing a moniker which is similar in either sound or spelling as a moderator or administrator is strictly forbidden.

All BKF users agree not to private message any moderator, admin, or other member with questions related to their personal circumstances (Questions about the forum or issues with the forum are ok). This forum only works when members share their experience and insights with everyone.

Things you agree not to post:
All BKF users agree not to post any derogatory/racist/or sexist remarks. This includes attachments, links and all information contained within posts, signatures, and avatars, failure to comply with this rule will result in a permanent ban.

All BKF users agree not to post any copyrighted or trademarked information without the express written permission of the owner(s) / proper citation of source.

All BKF users agree not to post any real names, addresses, telephone numbers, email addresses, social security numbers, or any other personal details (their own or other people's).

All BKF users agree not to post links, pictures, attachments, videos, or the like of pornographic content, objectionable material or extreme violence, whether cartoon or real.

All BKF users agree not to use BKF for advertising purposes without a written contract between yourself/company/agent and the administration of BKF. Blatant advertising will result in a ban.

All BKF users agree not to spam the forums. Spam includes but is not limited to posting erroneous, non-relevant-useless, off-topic, or meaningless posts. Spam may also include posts which contain no text, or large areas of blank space between lines. Simply posting emoticons without text is considered spam. BKF is the largest bankruptcy message board and all the content is intended to help other users. Please help us improve the quality of our forum by making sure that your posts are well-worded, spell checked, grammatically correct and syntaxed.

Regarding actions of moderators and administrators:

The forum is no place to air out your opinion or be judgmental of our staff and its capabilities.

All BKF users agree not to abuse or mistreat moderators or administrators. It is against BKF rules to post any information regarding bans or any other action taken by a member of the moderating or administrative team. If you wish to discuss bans or warnings please do so via PM. To place a complaint against a moderator, send a PM to a super moderator. All Moderators are equal, any decision made by a moderator must be adhered to. If a moderator tells you something you do not like, do not go to another moderator looking for a different answer. If you are caught doing this you will be banned. The moderators work as a team and respect the decisions made by their peers and will help enforce them unless an administrator tells them differently.
If you have an issue with how the forum is run, then notify one of our administrator and we will look into the situation. We have in the past and still do appreciate any input that you offer this forum. But critical input and/or judgmental postings towards the staff will result in you getting banned.


Should you find a thread offensive or out of line, then notify a Mod in a PM so they can evaluate the situation and do the action deemed necessary.

All moderators do have active "other" lives outside of the forum and help moderate this forum in their spare time throughout the days and weeks.

If you have a problem with a member or Mod follow the proper channels of reporting it.

BKF reserves the right to delete any posts which contain anti-BKF comments or discussion. Any bashing of moderators or administrators, or any of their discussion or actions will also be deleted, and the responsible posting party(s) will be banned. Any public anti-BKF advertising, communication, or posts on another forum will result in permanent bans as well.

All warnings and bans are decided by individual moderators and administrators. Warnings are preferable to bans however, for serious offenses and repeat abusers bans will go into effect. The length of the bans can vary from several hours to permanent.

All messages posted or sent including through PM are the property of BKforum.com.

All BKF users agree not to advertiser on the forum (Niether by posting, private messaging or using your signature). If you are a company/attorney/legal adviser wishing to advertise on the site or sell a product, you must contact the head administrator and inquire about our advertising packages.

All bankruptcy related opinions expressed on BKForum.com are those of their authors and not necessarily of BKF, its staff or representatives.

You agree not to copy any material/post/content from BKF without written permission from our head administrator .

By posting on this forum you agree to these terms and conditions, including any punishment deemed appropriate by moderators or administrators in the event of an offense.

Administrators/Moderators can change these rules at any time without prior notice.
See more
See less

1st post and my story.

Collapse
This topic is closed.
X
X
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • #16
    Originally posted by Drazil65 View Post
    Most everyone here is where you are or has been where you are, don't sweat your story. We have all made mistakes based mostly on self justification that things will turn around and we can get out on our own. Admitting it and being honest withself yourself is by far one of the scariest things and one of the most freeing things you will do during this journey. Get it in your head right now that this whole process is a business decision for your family, no different than the big businesses when they deicde that they cannot exist in their present financial situation. Your family is your main concern and doing what is best for them as a whole. Start taking back control by 1) telling wife 2) start reading everything on this forum that you can 3) do a search on "google voice" and then set it up for your creditor calls (its awesome and will save your sanity) and its free 4) go to at least 3 or 4 free consults with attorney's and "interview" them very carefully, having a good attorney that you are comfortable with is vital 5) stop paying any and all credit cards that will be discharged in the chapter 7 filing and start saving that money to pay your attorney and for living expenses (rent, food, cars, utilities etc). This will give you a sense of taking control and getting your ducks in a row, you will feel much better and be well on your way to changing your life. Good Luck with everything and keep us updated!
    Good post. Good advice. 'Hub
    Last edited by AngelinaCatHub; 10-01-2011, 10:14 PM.
    If I knew it all, would I be here?? Hang in there = Retained attorney 8-06, Filed 12-28-07, Discharge 8-13-08, Finally CLOSED 11-3-09, 3-31-10 AP Dismissed, Informed by incompetent lawyer of CLOSED status, October 14, 2010.

    Comment


    • #17
      Not sure I get the FU part. Did the atty def say that to you about brains? If he's already talking down to you , that is a very bad sign indeed and you need to move on to the next. Fortunately there are tons more and the right one for you is out there, not to worry.

      Keep On Smilin'

      Comment


      • #18
        Personally, for me, BK was the best thing that happened to me and my family. I told my wife by bringing up the fact that the CC debt was never going to go away at the rate we were going. We were on ever hardship program with the CC companies. I then told her that I found a way to make all our financial problems disappear. I told her that a planned bankruptcy would be our best option. She was a little upset at first but warmed up to the idea after we met with an attorney.
        6/30/2009 Filed Ch. 7
        10/06/2009 Discharged
        01/24/2011 Closed

        Comment


        • #19
          blackgoose welcome my friend - I know it's easier to say than do, but stop blaming yourself - what is done is done.

          Re wife - I'm in/was in a similar situation - I could never bring myself to tell spouse how much we were screwed financially, and hole got deeper and deeper, and the camel's back was broken when I was laid off last year...believe me it wasn't easy...BUT you're carrying this by yourself, which also isn't fair - you did do this for everyone, not just for yourself. She - wife - will be upset, angry, she'll say you didn't trust her enough etc...that will likely happen...BUT -here is the thing....you can't keep hiding this - that is what's making things a 1000% worse!!!!

          So...on the business side - with your income after large income drops off your six month lookback, you'll likely qualify for an "easy" Chapter 7 - you may want to thnk about whether it's worth keeping the house since your renting anyway!!!!!

          Comment


          • #20
            Originally posted by keepsmiling View Post
            Not sure I get the FU part. Did the atty def say that to you about brains? If he's already talking down to you , that is a very bad sign indeed and you need to move on to the next. Fortunately there are tons more and the right one for you is out there, not to worry.
            For everyone wondering about the "FU" comment earlier. The poster was talking about the attorney and, particularly, how condescending the attorney was. I don't think that the poster actually said that to the attorney and was just venting.
            Chapter 7 (No Asset/Non-Consumer) Filed (Pro Se) 7/08 (converted from Chapter 13 - 2/10)
            Status: (Auto) Discharged and Closed! 5/10
            Visit My BKForum Blog: justbroke's Blog


            I am not an attorney. Any advice provided is not legal advice.

            Comment


            • #21
              Originally posted by justbroke View Post
              For everyone wondering about the "FU" comment earlier. The poster was talking about the attorney and, particularly, how condescending the attorney was. I don't think that the poster actually said that to the attorney and was just venting.
              Hey, JB. I believe you are correct. The man is between his rock and his wife. What is worse? He is in dire distress. Many of us have been there or worse. Check out IAO post as he lived this too. We did not but NEVER thought we would bk for years when ours could have take three months of we had an attorney who would have taught us some things. OR this forum. We are poster "Childs" for what to do wrong. We did it. We were blessed with ignorance and that was the only thing that saved us.

              The OP (whom I wished would chime in) is in hurt. He must "belly up" and get this admission to his wife over. Half his stress would end that moment. The other half when he files. 'Hub
              If I knew it all, would I be here?? Hang in there = Retained attorney 8-06, Filed 12-28-07, Discharge 8-13-08, Finally CLOSED 11-3-09, 3-31-10 AP Dismissed, Informed by incompetent lawyer of CLOSED status, October 14, 2010.

              Comment


              • #22
                He did 'Hub! The thread is here!

                http://www.bkforum.com/showthread.ph...8-Told-my-wife
                Chapter 7 (No Asset/Non-Consumer) Filed (Pro Se) 7/08 (converted from Chapter 13 - 2/10)
                Status: (Auto) Discharged and Closed! 5/10
                Visit My BKForum Blog: justbroke's Blog


                I am not an attorney. Any advice provided is not legal advice.

                Comment


                • #23
                  Blackgoose, welcome. There is a lot of great advice here. I hate to repeat everyone else, but you must tell your wife. Think about how awful you'd feel, if it was the other way around, and she was hiding something like that from you.

                  My boyfriend and I have been living together for over 20 years, and at first I didn't want to tell him either. But then things happened, like constant phone calls, lawsuits being taped to my door, etc. I'm sure he pretty much knew what was going on...so I filled him in on all the details. Then, he has been so much help to me, and it seems that this has brought us closer together.

                  Comment


                  • #24
                    Originally posted by lillymarlene View Post
                    Blackgoose, welcome. There is a lot of great advice here. I hate to repeat everyone else, but you must tell your wife. Think about how awful you'd feel, if it was the other way around, and she was hiding something like that from you.

                    My boyfriend and I have been living together for over 20 years, and at first I didn't want to tell him either. But then things happened, like constant phone calls, lawsuits being taped to my door, etc. I'm sure he pretty much knew what was going on...so I filled him in on all the details. Then, he has been so much help to me, and it seems that this has brought us closer together.
                    He told her. See JB's post above to follow updates.

                    Comment


                    • #25
                      Hi All. The OP has told his wife. That makes this thread a bit obsolete, so I am closing it. If you wish to follow the updates, see this thread:

                      http://www.bkforum.com/showthread.ph...8-Told-my-wife
                      "To go bravely forward is to invite a miracle."

                      "Worry is the darkroom where negatives are formed."

                      Comment

                      Unconfigured Ad Widget

                      Collapse
                      Working...
                      X