top Ad Widget

Collapse

Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

My first Post and a Big Thanks!

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

    My first Post and a Big Thanks!

    Whoever came up with the idea and made this web site a reality, and for the many who contribute with so many insightful answers, I want to say “thank you!” I’ve spent so much time reading the many questions and answers throughout the entire ‘Before the Discharge’ section of this forum. I feel I might pass the Bar, at least the bankruptcy portion, if I were so inclined . I have not needed to post or start a thread up to this point because others have asked so many of the questions, which in the beginning, I was too emotional to consider or think about at the time. I truly believe that taking the emotion out of the equation (advice I got here), whenever and wherever possible, has allowed me to better prepare myself for an actual filing.

    Don’t get me wrong, I certainly made some mistakes along the way, but those mistakes have been limited or nonexistent since finding this site. For instance, cashing in a 401k, I wish I had never done that. This merely bought me some time before the inevitable. I don’t recommend anyone doing that unless you know for certain the time it buys you will resolve the real problem - how to cover your bills. A second mistake, while nowhere near as costly as cashing in a 401k fund and taking the penalties, was paying taxes out of pocket on property tied to a HELOC. I spent nearly $1200 on those taxes thinking that when I actually have to file bankruptcy I would still owe that money to the government upon discharge. This site taught me different; of course (Property taxes are tied to the property, and since I will lose that property the taxes would have been taken care of someone other than me). Now that I am so close to actually filing I see how important that money would be had I had it available post bankruptcy. And that is where my focus is right now; putting my family in the best possible financial position so when I eventually get discharged I can start fresh and limit the opportunity of something like this ever again happening in the future.

    In order to start fresh, in my estimation I will have to come up with quite a sum of money. First and last month’s rent, possibly a security deposit too, moving costs, utilities hook up and incidentals. On top of that I can easily see the need to either make costly repairs (transmission) on a ten year old second vehicle, or be prepared to have the cash to purchase outright a reliable second hand car so my wife can get our smaller children back and forth to school from an apartment which most likely will be well out of range for bus pickup. I will attempt to stay in this home until at least September so the children return to the same school for one more year. The school is great and they have friends there. I know kids are a lot more resilient then some parents give them credit but losing the only home they have ever known and moving to a new neighborhood can be scary, so if I can forgo the added problems associated with attending a new school this coming school year I will at least feel I have spared them some much needed time to adjust. After all, isn’t that what bankruptcy provides for all of us in some shape or other - a period to adjust to a new way of living? I know that is what it means to me and my wife anyway.

    No more unnecessary expenditures. Life will be about what we need, not what we want. Don’t get me wrong, I didn’t spend my family into this mess by living high on the hog, so to speak. And I don’t imagine most that search for help and find this site had a goal to declare bankruptcy because they spent freely with no intention of ever paying back what they borrowed, far from it. When it became apparent to my wife and me that bankruptcy is our lone remaining prospect I can honestly say we were devastated. We felt there was nobody to turn to for advice. My wife simply needed empathy from friends and family, and when she sought it out all she got was a lot of useless ‘advice’. Until someone has been down this road they have no idea what a person needs to do, let alone the emotional distress it causes and how they can best provide it to a friend or family member. First, our thoughts were and continue to be about our children; how might this affect them now and in the future? Will they think their mom and dad are failures? Will they be teased at school when a big old nasty foreclosure sign goes up on the front lawn? Are they going to hate us when we curb or eliminate their social and sporting activities? After those questions make you cry a few hours the reality sets in and you are left with so many more practical considerations; and once again there is no where to turn for answers. How do I go about retaining a lawyer and how much does one cost? Can I do anything about the incessant phone calls? Should we be filing Chapter seven or Chapter thirteen? Should I keep the house? What advantage is there to a short sale vs. foreclosure? How does the foreclosure process work? How long might I expect to stay in a foreclosed home? What is an exemption? Can I keep my tax refund? How can I rent an apartment with a bankruptcy on my record? The list goes on and on and on... It’s really kind of funny, when I look back on how in two short months I have gone from an emotional basket case to a well informed, analytical, confident husband that my wife leans on for empathy, and advice... and I owe it all to you. Thank you BK Forum.


    One final note: I tell my children often, “it is not what happens to you in life that matters; it’s what you do when it happens.” So, if you are reading this and feeling you have nowhere to turn, I advise you to start reading, you won’t be dissapointed.
    I only wish I had the foresight to link to the very best information I found on this forum. Oh well, perhaps after all this is over... someday.

    #2
    Looking - What a beautiful post! Words can't express the gratitude that I have for this forum, as well. Best of luck on your family's journey. Have you decided on going pro se or getting an attorney? Please keep us posted!
    Chapter 7 filed 10/8/10...341 Meeting 12/6/10....Discharged 2/16/2011....Case Closed! 3/1/2011

    Comment


      #3
      Thanks Broke. I wouldn’t dream of going it alone. In fact, I only have one more payment and our lawyer will then file the end of March, not a moment to soon. I received a letter a few days ago from a law firm here in Maryland. They have been referred by the holder/servicer of our mortgage, U.S. Bank National Association, due to a default in the terms of the Deed. They have been instructed to institute foreclosure proceedings. I may have to finally start asking some questions of my own, here on the BK, I mean. Take care.

      Comment


        #4
        We're a judicial state, Looking, so from your Default Notice you have some time. They have to file the foreclosure papers through the court. Going from my next ex-door neighbor who defaulted, you probably have a good 30 - 60 days. So, if you file your BK in March, you'll get the Automatic Stay, and that will buy you more time.
        Chapter 7 filed 10/8/10...341 Meeting 12/6/10....Discharged 2/16/2011....Case Closed! 3/1/2011

        Comment


          #5
          Looking...thanks so much for your post. I enjoyed it very much.

          I can hardly believe i have been here for almost a year. I stumbled upon the forum only by accident.
          There are so many here that helped me get thru this. I came on feeling like a failure and not really knowing what to do.

          I actually still have my small IRA intact and at nearly 60 i am really glad for that. It's there only by the advice of those here.

          I agree with Broke in that there is no way to thank everyone here. Just by staying and "paying it forward" can i thank them. I don't know very much but i can at least offer encouragement.
          I never imagined a person could have such great friends that you have never met.
          Good luck to you.....
          filed: 8/10 ...341:10/8/10 ... Discharged & Close: 12/9/10
          "Nothing is easy to the unwilling" Thomas Fuller

          Comment


            #6
            My pleasure oregonpilot.

            Broke - thanks for your input. I've been busy. I am back to work full-time. Yeah! Working has taken my mind off the impending bankruptcy, not altogether, but enough so I feel more normal. Meanwhile, I have pushed aside dealing with some issues I know I better tackle now, before it is too late. I have posted a question, or two, or three in the Foreclosure section of the forum in a new thread; here is the link: Oops, I need to post more before I can link

            If you have any insight I would appreciate any advice you may offer.

            Thanks

            Comment


              #7
              Your post was, indeed, beautiful. I made the same two mistakes you did before I found this forum. Just have to put that in the past where it belongs I guess.

              I responded to your question on the foreclosure section and really hope some who know the answers will respond as Minnesota laws are different from yours.

              Good luck on your bk. I'm just waiting for the lawyer's staff to finish up the paperwork, then I'll look it over and make sure everything's there and hopefully be filed soon. Can't wait for this to be over!

              This forum has helped me so much also. I had no clue how to go about doing anything and would have made another mistake hiring a lawyer I wasn't comfortable with, just because someone said I should hire him. Needless to say, this forum taught me that it is okay to check with other lawyers until you are comfortable.

              Comment


                #8
                I wonder if I can link it for you... http://www.bkforum.com/showthread.ph...we-need-advice.
                Figured out we were in trouble: (Wait, we're in trouble? ) Stopped paying creditors: Aug 2010 Filed Chap 7: Apr 29, 2011 341: Jun 1, 2011 Report of no distribution: Jun 1, 2011 Discharged Aug 2, 2011

                Comment


                  #9
                  Hi Startin - Thanks for the link! I missed that post from Lookin!
                  Chapter 7 filed 10/8/10...341 Meeting 12/6/10....Discharged 2/16/2011....Case Closed! 3/1/2011

                  Comment


                    #10
                    LOL - Thanks, all of you. For the Link, advice, and your kind words.

                    Sincerely

                    Comment


                      #11
                      Hi Looking2Help: Thank you for joining us.

                      It was well past our filing date and only when we were hit with and Adversary Proceeding (AP) that I came up with the 'correct' search terms for Google to find this site. Before that we were 'flailing away in the dark'. Though we had an attorney, she had to have been the 'dullest tool in the shed'. So we struggled on mostly by ourselves, and that is why we stay around trying to help others in our predicament.
                      "To go bravely forward is to invite a miracle."

                      "Worry is the darkroom where negatives are formed."

                      Comment

                      bottom Ad Widget

                      Collapse
                      Working...
                      X