Help me figure out what to do, re: mortgage

[Pinktiger]

I need to find $4400 fast to bring my mortgage current so I can reaffirm under Chapter 7. Here are my options:

1. Ask my mother, which I would rather not do, as she is 86. She has money, but I feel like an idiot asking her for money now.

2. Make my non-filing husband cough it up (I think he has some money, but he has not offered up to now.)

3. Find some way to get a loan on my vehicle (free and clear vehicle) to get the money.

I might be able to get my real estate broker boss to loan me the money on my car title. I will be probably making at least that much from a sale soon, before December anyway, so it makes sense. The only problem is, I hate to tell them all my personal business and I will have to now if I do this.

What should I do??? Any ideas??

[StaciMM]

If you did this-would you have to go into much detail w/ your boss about why?

it up (I think he has some money, but he has not offered up to now.)

3. Find some way to get a loan on my vehicle (free and clear vehicle) to get the money.

I might be able to get my real estate broker boss to loan me the money on my car title. I will be probably making at least that much from a sale soon, before December anyway, so it makes sense. The only problem is, I hate to tell them all my personal business and I will have to now if I do this.

What should I do??? Any ideas??

[Lightning]

You have bigger problems than the mortgage payment if you don't know how much money the man you're married to has.

[Pinktiger]

You have bigger problems than the mortgage payment if you don't know how much money the man you're married to has.

You have a lot of problems, period. Leave my thread.

[Lightning]

You're posting here for an answer to a problem. I'm telling you that if you're married to and living with a man, and you don't know if he has money or not, you're in serious trouble personally and financially.

I can't believe you're considering talking to your boss before talking with your husband.

Does he have debt you don't know about? If so, and you own joint assets like the house or live in a community property state, you could be on the hook.

You're standing in the middle of a 40-acre forest fire, and you're screaming for a fire extinguisher to put out the flames on one seedling.

Good luck.

[HHM]

I dunno Pink, I would ask the same question here, what is up with your husband, does he live in this house...if so, why wouldn't he "cough it up" if he could, doesn't he stand to lose the roof over his head if the bank forecloses.

[dmg]

I have to say that I was going to ask the same question regarding your husband. I realize that every household is different, but wouldn't the mortgage affect both of you?

[sunshine08]

I realize that all marriages aren't the same, but I concur with some of the others. None of the following questions are any our business, just food for thought. First of all does your husband live in the home? Is his name on the mortgage? Are you in the process of splitting up? Does he know what is going on? Evidently you must not file taxes jointly? I don't know how to advise you other than on the info given. I would have to say, try and get a loan on your car, it would help with catching mortgage up if you want to keep the house and with maybe doing chapter 7 vs chapter 13. Good luck to you. Hope you get the finances that you need.

[tinroofrusted]

I am concurring here as well. What type of household do you have that you don't know if your husband has over $4000.00 in the bank? And does he work? If so, why is he not living up to his marriage vows to take care of his family?


I am scratching my head here that you would ask your octogenarian mother for money before the man that you agreed to SHARE your life with. It seems very odd to me.

I suggest perhaps marriage counseling, and solid look at what's going on before worrying about anything else. I am worried for you!

[Pinktiger]

Well, to be perfectly frank, it is really none of your business. Our situation is different than many, and I don't think I want to go into it here, especially with the feeling I have from all of you that you are judging me.
But in a nutshell, the debt is mine, not my husband's.
I have been trying to pay for everything myself but our situation changed and it was no longer possible for me to do so. He is very ill and has been for seven years. I believe he has some money socked away that I don't know about, but we have always kept our finances separate. We are each other's second spouses.

What I really want to know is, is it possible for me to get a loan on my car while I'm in the middle of a Chapter 7?

[Pinktiger]

I can't believe you're considering talking to your boss before talking with your husband.
You're standing in the middle of a 40-acre forest fire, and you're screaming for a fire extinguisher to put out the flames on one seedling.

Good luck.

I don't care much for you, bud. If I want your advice, I'll ask for it.

[sunshine08]

Again, each situation is different. I can understand the second marriage bit, I am on my second (hope last) marriage. I can empathize with the wanting or needing to be able to support oneself. without having to depend on someone else "supposed" to be helping. (not saying your husband doesn't contribute, only meant, I am self sufficient and need to be able to do for myself, help is great, but when you have all the burden for so long it is hard to count on help, especially if you have been burned) I think I would discuss this with my husband, he may volunteer to help you if he does have it. If he can't, I would probably go to my boss. I don't think that he would ask a whole lot of questions, he would know if you were good for the money. But he would need to put a lien on the vehicle and have some type of contract. We purchased a newer vehicle, we knew we would turn in a vehicle, we owed way more than it was worth, and the loan was due ( balloon note) we were afraid that they wouldn't refinance and did not have the means to outright pay the bank what the negotiated price would be. The trustee only asked us which vehicle we would keep and where the one was we were not going to keep was. Do you have a lawyer yet? Are you going that route or have you already started the process? Good luck and keep us posted.

[Pinktiger]

Thanks, Sunshine -- good advice. I do have a lawyer and he is suggesting that I get this mortgage current. The bank has filed a request for relief from the BK 7 and we have to act before the 20th.
We have to at least know when we will have it current by the time we respond, he said. Right now I'm just trying to figure out where to get the money; it is the last detail I have to deal with.
So, I think I will take your advice; if he will not help, then I will go to my boss. I appreciate it.

[sunshine08]

You are very welcome. Sometimes I speak before I get the thought process completed. What comes up comes out with me, people that know me don't pay it a lot of mind because they know things don't always come out like I want them. I hope that you are able to get your mortgage current. Please keep us posted and best of luck.

[tinroofrusted]

Well, to be perfectly frank, it is really none of your business. Our situation is different than many, and I don't think I want to go into it here, especially with the feeling I have from all of you that you are judging me.
But in a nutshell, the debt is mine, not my husband's.
I have been trying to pay for everything myself but our situation changed and it was no longer possible for me to do so. He is very ill and has been for seven years. I believe he has some money socked away that I don't know about, but we have always kept our finances separate. We are each other's second spouses.

What I really want to know is, is it possible for me to get a loan on my car while I'm in the middle of a Chapter 7?

We are not judging here pinktiger. With limited information, we can only go a small opinion formed and that is all. If I were married, and my husband were living with me, in my house, even if it were my mortgage, he would be helping with half of the bills, or his behind would be at the curb. As it is, your husband is ill, and probably has some really good reasons as to why this debt is yours.

However, a marriage should also be open and honest, and I don't get that you and your husband live like that, and it concernes me for you.


It is absolutely IMPOSSIBLE for you to get a car loan during Chapter 7, and if you do, you will be commit BK fraud.

Good luck. I hope you can find the help that you need with this mortgage.