Ok im going to start off by saying hi to everyone, im new to this forum after a few months of reading everyone else's situations i feel comfortable enough to post my nasty situation.
The last 3 years of my life have basically consisted of this. My 1st wife and me divorce after 4 years together. It was very amicable divorce believe it or not and we couldnt get along better now as friends and parents to our now 4 year old daughter and pay her 214 a month in child support and take care of insurance. My 2nd wife which is now divorcing me after only 4 months of marriage and 2 years together is a completely other story. To back it up a little for everyone to understand, this second wife (rookie mistake #1) is what you call a rebound person. Even though i wasnt in love with my ex anymore if anyone is anyone, most people hate being alone and i always was scared of it which leads to wife #2. Me and my second wife basically is what you think to be a simple situation has led to some serious anymosity and definately not amicable at all. This second wife turns out to be the most manipulative sneeky person ive ever met. During our relationship prior to marriage i'll admit, i was blinded, she had me on a string. She had me jumping from job to job either becuase she didnt like it, didnt make much money, wasnt spending enough time with her you name it. I did put up a fight of course but in the end usually she got her way. During our relationship prior to marriage, we lived in a total of 4 apartments, she loved moving around and i hated it. Also during this time we kept all our financials seperate but she was always hounding me about paying my old charged off debts off. In a nutshell my credit report includes about a dozen or so charged off accounts with a mixture of credit cards and finance company loans totally about 10,000 dollars. Background on my ex, she has OCD over germs, has anxiety about her appearance and hot and cold at best to describe her, but i loved her and blinded me from what people outside looking in saw. Also during the relationship she kept pressuring me to join the air force, that it would be great for me, i could make allot of money, we could move away and be happily ever after. She had me naive to a point but im very analytical and am very grounded when im not blinded that is as far as how i think. I almost enlisted and backed off at the end. If she wasnt pressuring me to join the air force, she was pressuring me to get her pregnant (she said she would die for a child) or was pressuring me to pay my old old bills it was always something. I was working for the City Water Dept for a year before i got fired. She got irate and insisted i find a job immediately becuase i basicaly paid half the bills she paid the other half, she worked at red lobster as a waitress the entire time and at all of these apartments she was only on the lease so she had all the power and i hated that. So i immediately got a crap job working as a clerk at gas station paying 8 bucks an hour. After a month there she got pissed becuase she said she was embarrassed of my job. So she convinced me to go to work for my parents (who had wanted me to work with them and i did work with them back when i was in high school for 3 years before, and by the way they own a few local businesses and a 19 year old newspaper that they started from the ground up), so i did, i went to work with my parents making about 1100 a month which wasnt too bad. Well she kept pressuring me to marry her, so after about year of pressure last year April of 2005 i asked her to marry me and we set the wedding date for June 28th 2005 becuase my final hearing for divorce of 1st ex wife was May 10th 2005 and yes it took over a year to get there becuase we had a child and there was allot to go over and ontop of that we set the wedding date for that date becuase at that time i had thought and was actually told by district clerk that i couldnt get married until 30 days from final court hearing. Court hearing came and went nicely and we were married June 28th 2005. We were to get married in vegas but in early July we had a huge argument becuase i didnt make enough money and that she demanded i enlist in the air force and when i didnt she said she wanted a divorce and kicked me out of the apartment. Well my family wasnt too happy anyways with her becuase she was very unstable mentally, but again the love thing yes I KNOW its ridiculous but we make mistakes. So i move out and with no where to go my family let me stay in the guest room. Feeling like i couldnt stoop any lower, living back at my parents house and a week after moving in recieving divorce papers i actually did everything possible to keep my head high. After about a month of having no contact with my 2nd ex i took some time and finally had some ME time to realize what i was gonig through, took make my goals, and to start working on them. I had the tools (living at parents house, job, and no bills so i could save up money to get back on my feet) i started my journey. Late July, im online and chatting with a friend on yahoo instant messenger and out of the blue my 2nd ex messages me that she misses me that she made a big mistake and wants me back. Very reluctant (yes i missed her like hell too i dunno why NOW but i did) i didnt take her back right away and thought about it. After thinking and contemplating i came up with an idea. I told her the only way i would take her back is if she wanted to be with me bad enough that she could move in with me in my parents house, that i was NOT going back to that apartment and that even after all that i would have to see her change. Her parents said if she got back with me they were taking her out of their will and disowning her. But she did, she moved in to my parents house with me, first weeks of August she filed a NON-SUIT on the divorce. I told her lets save up money together, start out right and do this right. I understand every marriage isnt perfect and not everyone person is perfect as neither am i but we could get through this if we really loved each other. So early august our journey began but immediately didnt go the way i had planned. The car that she had prior to us getting married was a 2004 Honda Civic that she was upside down on from a previous trade in, she said she wanted a SUV so now married she traded in her seperate property for a 2002 Nissan Xterra. Later she decided suddenly that she didnt wanna work hardly any, i swear she was working MAYBE 1 day a week, giving away all her shifts and i ended up paying on her credit cards she had 3 of them that i knew of, i ended up paying insurance, car payment, everything and she started spending, like no tommorrow on the bank of america card that had a 10k limit on it. Six flags trips, going out to eat all the time, wal-mart like 20 times a day it just never ended. I finally told her this wasnt part of the deal, the money i had saved up from the first month after our breakup was going towards MY goals, to get a car, to get my apartment, and to get myself back in school (20 hours left to graduate). I told her im not leaving my parents until i accomplish this. Well she didnt get along very well with my sister and after 3 months she demanded we get our own apartment. I didnt have anything that i had planned accomplished and said the only way i'll do that is if she atleast helps me get my own car becuase even my parents let me use one of their vehicles while i saved up. So in late October we go to Beneficial Finance and she takes out a signature loan solely in her name for 5,000 dollars. She puts it in HER account which i have NO access to, remember their NO joint stuff, NO join bank accounts we had our own stuff hell we were only married even at that time only a few months. Before we bought the car i demanded my name be the only one on the title and she agreed. I found a perfect car, 94 Altima, great gas milegae and reliable, she took out 2700 for the car only a week later when it was time to get the title in my name she demanded that it have both of our names and i folded and agreed (didnt have I or OR, just my name ontop hers on bottom) and a week later after that i used all my savings to get us an apartment in BOTH our names, i refused to have an apartment in just her name so she could kick me out later when it didnt work out. Well first week of November we move in, she goes all out on the apartment furnishing it with odds and ends and she keeps racking up on the bank of america card and i keep warning her that if she keeps on NOT working and CHARGING up its gonna bite us in the ass. She ignored me, well December comes around and news of her grandmother came in, she passed away. Her mother inherited the newly built house that her grandmother had built May 2005 and said that she wanted to sell the house to my ex solely. I told my ex we just moved into the apartment, lets finish our lease it will give us to time to clean out the house and get settled in. She refused she wanted to move in RIGHT AWAY and sublet the apartment o a friend of hers. I said that was a bad idea but went along with it, so we move AGAIN! took 2 weeks and a hurt back but i was ok. December 7th after completely moving in i told her, that what was comming is finally here, i said i can now no longer pay the bills, with your work habits and your spending, and with all YOUR credit cards now maxed out if you dont make atleast X amout of dollars this weekend we wont be able to pay the stuff on time. Well she finally go the hint but only it was too late, we got a call early the next morning that her job caught on fire partially and since she's a waitress that she doesnt get any kind of pay until they open back up. I completely flipped! i said we are stuck now i said, car payment, insurance and everything is due. She completely pissed on me and was like "I cant believe your not sorry for me, im the one out of a job atleast you have one" i couldnt believe she had said that, after calming down, i told my mother the situation and she loaned me 1500 dollars to get us through the month until she gets a job. Well i took that money and paid all the bills which basically were techincally all her bills that were in her name, car payment, insurance, credit cards, light, cable, telephone, cell phone. Well 3 days later she says she wants a divorce becuase she doesnt wanna be with me anymore. I finally figured out my being naive finally got me in the but. I took back over the apartment and she filed for divorce January 20th, 18 days after i moved out. I finally said the hell with this and got on my A game back to where i need to be, i completely cut communication with her, changed my number and vowed never to get into this again. Her family and her are now out to get me to pay half of what she did on her credit. which is about roughly 7,000 dollars, which is ALLOT to me and i didnt even benefit nor when i moved out take anything but my seperate property. Nothing that was aquired with the credit cards i took, it all furnished her now house. I had a feeling all of this was planned but it was too late for what if's i was now focused on me, i had my apartment, i told her i wouldnt sign her off the lease until her friend moved herself completely out, she did, and i signed her off and kept the apartment. Luckily i have my apartment, my job, im in school and my car. I recieved divorce papers 1st of february, i decided to use same lawyer that i had used before and after he did some digging he found out that me and my 2nd ex's marriage is void since i was mistaken on when i could get married. Turns out that its 30 days from when final decree of divorce is signed not 30 days after the final hearing and turns out my 1st ex didnt sign final divorce papers till Jan 6, 2006 (why i have no idea) so at the temporary orders hearing she said that all she wanted from me was to temporary until final hearing is to pay her credit card bill which is 155 a month and pay her for the car. Well under pressure i agreed to pay HALF of the credit card bill which is 75 + 155 towards the car which she wanted 3,000 for the car (including taxes and stickers) on April 1st, pay 75 +155 toward car on May 1st and 2690.00 for remainder of the car and she would have to sign the title over to me only when i satisfy this.
My question now that you have fully read what im going through is this, i just paid the 230.00 on April 1st as you can see this person is caniving, and i cant believe i let her do this to me, becuase i have to repay the money back to my parents, and ive gotten myself back together and have had no contact with her. She said she's gonna take me to the cleaners and make me pay all this money to her and that if i dont she's gonna have me put in jail, well not scared, i decided to consult a bankruptcy lawyer and after a nice 1 hour chat with the paralegal to this well known attorney she basically gave me a plan on what i should do. My question is this, as you can see this person is out to screw the honest person (which is me) out of some serious money, i'd like to basically see if there is any way that i could keep the car without having to pay her if i file for bankruptcy as to which im going to do if she wins anything for the credit card anyways but if i can hit her where it hurts and get out of paying her for the car and the credit cards if she wins any there either, would this be possible? By the way i make exactly 930 a month and my soon to be attorney after talking and explaing my situation said i would perfect for Chapter 7.
I know this is a bit long but its not a very good situation either and I would appreciate anyones response to this please.
The last 3 years of my life have basically consisted of this. My 1st wife and me divorce after 4 years together. It was very amicable divorce believe it or not and we couldnt get along better now as friends and parents to our now 4 year old daughter and pay her 214 a month in child support and take care of insurance. My 2nd wife which is now divorcing me after only 4 months of marriage and 2 years together is a completely other story. To back it up a little for everyone to understand, this second wife (rookie mistake #1) is what you call a rebound person. Even though i wasnt in love with my ex anymore if anyone is anyone, most people hate being alone and i always was scared of it which leads to wife #2. Me and my second wife basically is what you think to be a simple situation has led to some serious anymosity and definately not amicable at all. This second wife turns out to be the most manipulative sneeky person ive ever met. During our relationship prior to marriage i'll admit, i was blinded, she had me on a string. She had me jumping from job to job either becuase she didnt like it, didnt make much money, wasnt spending enough time with her you name it. I did put up a fight of course but in the end usually she got her way. During our relationship prior to marriage, we lived in a total of 4 apartments, she loved moving around and i hated it. Also during this time we kept all our financials seperate but she was always hounding me about paying my old charged off debts off. In a nutshell my credit report includes about a dozen or so charged off accounts with a mixture of credit cards and finance company loans totally about 10,000 dollars. Background on my ex, she has OCD over germs, has anxiety about her appearance and hot and cold at best to describe her, but i loved her and blinded me from what people outside looking in saw. Also during the relationship she kept pressuring me to join the air force, that it would be great for me, i could make allot of money, we could move away and be happily ever after. She had me naive to a point but im very analytical and am very grounded when im not blinded that is as far as how i think. I almost enlisted and backed off at the end. If she wasnt pressuring me to join the air force, she was pressuring me to get her pregnant (she said she would die for a child) or was pressuring me to pay my old old bills it was always something. I was working for the City Water Dept for a year before i got fired. She got irate and insisted i find a job immediately becuase i basicaly paid half the bills she paid the other half, she worked at red lobster as a waitress the entire time and at all of these apartments she was only on the lease so she had all the power and i hated that. So i immediately got a crap job working as a clerk at gas station paying 8 bucks an hour. After a month there she got pissed becuase she said she was embarrassed of my job. So she convinced me to go to work for my parents (who had wanted me to work with them and i did work with them back when i was in high school for 3 years before, and by the way they own a few local businesses and a 19 year old newspaper that they started from the ground up), so i did, i went to work with my parents making about 1100 a month which wasnt too bad. Well she kept pressuring me to marry her, so after about year of pressure last year April of 2005 i asked her to marry me and we set the wedding date for June 28th 2005 becuase my final hearing for divorce of 1st ex wife was May 10th 2005 and yes it took over a year to get there becuase we had a child and there was allot to go over and ontop of that we set the wedding date for that date becuase at that time i had thought and was actually told by district clerk that i couldnt get married until 30 days from final court hearing. Court hearing came and went nicely and we were married June 28th 2005. We were to get married in vegas but in early July we had a huge argument becuase i didnt make enough money and that she demanded i enlist in the air force and when i didnt she said she wanted a divorce and kicked me out of the apartment. Well my family wasnt too happy anyways with her becuase she was very unstable mentally, but again the love thing yes I KNOW its ridiculous but we make mistakes. So i move out and with no where to go my family let me stay in the guest room. Feeling like i couldnt stoop any lower, living back at my parents house and a week after moving in recieving divorce papers i actually did everything possible to keep my head high. After about a month of having no contact with my 2nd ex i took some time and finally had some ME time to realize what i was gonig through, took make my goals, and to start working on them. I had the tools (living at parents house, job, and no bills so i could save up money to get back on my feet) i started my journey. Late July, im online and chatting with a friend on yahoo instant messenger and out of the blue my 2nd ex messages me that she misses me that she made a big mistake and wants me back. Very reluctant (yes i missed her like hell too i dunno why NOW but i did) i didnt take her back right away and thought about it. After thinking and contemplating i came up with an idea. I told her the only way i would take her back is if she wanted to be with me bad enough that she could move in with me in my parents house, that i was NOT going back to that apartment and that even after all that i would have to see her change. Her parents said if she got back with me they were taking her out of their will and disowning her. But she did, she moved in to my parents house with me, first weeks of August she filed a NON-SUIT on the divorce. I told her lets save up money together, start out right and do this right. I understand every marriage isnt perfect and not everyone person is perfect as neither am i but we could get through this if we really loved each other. So early august our journey began but immediately didnt go the way i had planned. The car that she had prior to us getting married was a 2004 Honda Civic that she was upside down on from a previous trade in, she said she wanted a SUV so now married she traded in her seperate property for a 2002 Nissan Xterra. Later she decided suddenly that she didnt wanna work hardly any, i swear she was working MAYBE 1 day a week, giving away all her shifts and i ended up paying on her credit cards she had 3 of them that i knew of, i ended up paying insurance, car payment, everything and she started spending, like no tommorrow on the bank of america card that had a 10k limit on it. Six flags trips, going out to eat all the time, wal-mart like 20 times a day it just never ended. I finally told her this wasnt part of the deal, the money i had saved up from the first month after our breakup was going towards MY goals, to get a car, to get my apartment, and to get myself back in school (20 hours left to graduate). I told her im not leaving my parents until i accomplish this. Well she didnt get along very well with my sister and after 3 months she demanded we get our own apartment. I didnt have anything that i had planned accomplished and said the only way i'll do that is if she atleast helps me get my own car becuase even my parents let me use one of their vehicles while i saved up. So in late October we go to Beneficial Finance and she takes out a signature loan solely in her name for 5,000 dollars. She puts it in HER account which i have NO access to, remember their NO joint stuff, NO join bank accounts we had our own stuff hell we were only married even at that time only a few months. Before we bought the car i demanded my name be the only one on the title and she agreed. I found a perfect car, 94 Altima, great gas milegae and reliable, she took out 2700 for the car only a week later when it was time to get the title in my name she demanded that it have both of our names and i folded and agreed (didnt have I or OR, just my name ontop hers on bottom) and a week later after that i used all my savings to get us an apartment in BOTH our names, i refused to have an apartment in just her name so she could kick me out later when it didnt work out. Well first week of November we move in, she goes all out on the apartment furnishing it with odds and ends and she keeps racking up on the bank of america card and i keep warning her that if she keeps on NOT working and CHARGING up its gonna bite us in the ass. She ignored me, well December comes around and news of her grandmother came in, she passed away. Her mother inherited the newly built house that her grandmother had built May 2005 and said that she wanted to sell the house to my ex solely. I told my ex we just moved into the apartment, lets finish our lease it will give us to time to clean out the house and get settled in. She refused she wanted to move in RIGHT AWAY and sublet the apartment o a friend of hers. I said that was a bad idea but went along with it, so we move AGAIN! took 2 weeks and a hurt back but i was ok. December 7th after completely moving in i told her, that what was comming is finally here, i said i can now no longer pay the bills, with your work habits and your spending, and with all YOUR credit cards now maxed out if you dont make atleast X amout of dollars this weekend we wont be able to pay the stuff on time. Well she finally go the hint but only it was too late, we got a call early the next morning that her job caught on fire partially and since she's a waitress that she doesnt get any kind of pay until they open back up. I completely flipped! i said we are stuck now i said, car payment, insurance and everything is due. She completely pissed on me and was like "I cant believe your not sorry for me, im the one out of a job atleast you have one" i couldnt believe she had said that, after calming down, i told my mother the situation and she loaned me 1500 dollars to get us through the month until she gets a job. Well i took that money and paid all the bills which basically were techincally all her bills that were in her name, car payment, insurance, credit cards, light, cable, telephone, cell phone. Well 3 days later she says she wants a divorce becuase she doesnt wanna be with me anymore. I finally figured out my being naive finally got me in the but. I took back over the apartment and she filed for divorce January 20th, 18 days after i moved out. I finally said the hell with this and got on my A game back to where i need to be, i completely cut communication with her, changed my number and vowed never to get into this again. Her family and her are now out to get me to pay half of what she did on her credit. which is about roughly 7,000 dollars, which is ALLOT to me and i didnt even benefit nor when i moved out take anything but my seperate property. Nothing that was aquired with the credit cards i took, it all furnished her now house. I had a feeling all of this was planned but it was too late for what if's i was now focused on me, i had my apartment, i told her i wouldnt sign her off the lease until her friend moved herself completely out, she did, and i signed her off and kept the apartment. Luckily i have my apartment, my job, im in school and my car. I recieved divorce papers 1st of february, i decided to use same lawyer that i had used before and after he did some digging he found out that me and my 2nd ex's marriage is void since i was mistaken on when i could get married. Turns out that its 30 days from when final decree of divorce is signed not 30 days after the final hearing and turns out my 1st ex didnt sign final divorce papers till Jan 6, 2006 (why i have no idea) so at the temporary orders hearing she said that all she wanted from me was to temporary until final hearing is to pay her credit card bill which is 155 a month and pay her for the car. Well under pressure i agreed to pay HALF of the credit card bill which is 75 + 155 towards the car which she wanted 3,000 for the car (including taxes and stickers) on April 1st, pay 75 +155 toward car on May 1st and 2690.00 for remainder of the car and she would have to sign the title over to me only when i satisfy this.
My question now that you have fully read what im going through is this, i just paid the 230.00 on April 1st as you can see this person is caniving, and i cant believe i let her do this to me, becuase i have to repay the money back to my parents, and ive gotten myself back together and have had no contact with her. She said she's gonna take me to the cleaners and make me pay all this money to her and that if i dont she's gonna have me put in jail, well not scared, i decided to consult a bankruptcy lawyer and after a nice 1 hour chat with the paralegal to this well known attorney she basically gave me a plan on what i should do. My question is this, as you can see this person is out to screw the honest person (which is me) out of some serious money, i'd like to basically see if there is any way that i could keep the car without having to pay her if i file for bankruptcy as to which im going to do if she wins anything for the credit card anyways but if i can hit her where it hurts and get out of paying her for the car and the credit cards if she wins any there either, would this be possible? By the way i make exactly 930 a month and my soon to be attorney after talking and explaing my situation said i would perfect for Chapter 7.
I know this is a bit long but its not a very good situation either and I would appreciate anyones response to this please.
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