Going crazy

[Confused06]

Hi all. First I would just like to say that if it wasn't for this site, I would probably be completely crazy by now. All of the information and posts are comforting that others are in the same situation.

Anyway, as of 8/1/06 I retained an attorney. I sent him all of the information he requested and I was expecting to be getting filed soon thereafter. I was wrong. I finally got a hold of his paralegal this morning and she was asking for me to send in paystubs, tax returns, etc. She didn't even know that I sent all of this information to the attorney two weeks ago.

Doesn't the attorney know that people in this situation are going through enough as it is without having your attorney take his sweet old time at getting the papers ready to file. On top of it, I had a collection agency pull my cell phone records to find out who I have been calling. I was at my boyfriends house last week and they called!!!!! They do not have his information and I am steaming over that.

Since I retained my attorney, I am having a hard time sleeping, eating, working, you name it I am having trouble at it. All I want is for the petition to get filed, get the 341 hearing done and wait for the discharge. I feel so ashamed and embarrased for getting myself in this situation, I just want it to be over with so I can start rebuilding my life and my credit.

Anyway, sorry this is so long. Just needed to vent.

[Minnymouth]

You vent all you need too....... we are here to listen and offer support....
Take the time to read some of the threads on the forum.... Many folks have been thru what you are going thru right now... Believe me, you are not alone in how you feel right now.....

Sometimes, the receiptionist are not aware of what the attorneys are doing... Did your attorney give you a packet to fill out and return too him???
Have you paid him a retainer yet?

Tell us about your first meeting with him and what he said........

Maybe we can help guide you in the right direction here on how to handle this and what you need to do now...

[Confused06]

Minny:

Thank you for your reply. I have read several posts from you and others and am thankful for the support.

Yes he did give me a small packet to fill out, review and return to him. It was just simple stuff like income and expenses. I have paid him all of his fees ($750) and the only other thing I will need to pay is the filing fee before the 341 meeting.

His paralegal actually does all of the work. She wants me to come in on Thursday and get the application to the credit counseling before filing. The only thing the attorney does is go to the 341 with me and object to anything that needs to be objected to.

He said that I would qualify for a Chapter 7 since my income is below the state level (MO) but I did get a little confused when he started talking about making sure that my disposable income would be below $100.00. Doesn't make any sense with passing the income part of the means test.

I have been so mad for it taking two weeks to talk to anyone in his office that I have been thinking of firing him and filing on my own. I am so scared to do this since I have heard horror stories about pro se filing. I have approximately $59k worth of debt. This is such a scary time. I am so worried that some part of the paperwork will not be done right and the trustee will dismiss the case.

[CAB_44]

Hang on Confused06~
While I can't offer you much~( I am new in this process myself!) there are PLENTY here that will take you under their "good guidence wing" ......
I'm beginning to wonder myself if I have obtained the "right attorney".
Take a deep breath, and let some of other more experienced ones in here fill you in on what to do...it has been a lifesaver for me to be on this site~LOVE IT!!
SinkingFast, Minnie~Jeepmom,lrprn,Jman, and many many others will take you in and give you some relief in the "Facts aspect" of all of this, while others like myself will try to help you come back down to a clamer level....if there is such a thing!!
Keep your chin up sweetie~ keep reading, and TRY to relax some...MOST if not ALL of us are going through this same stuff....and others here HAVE truly survived all sorts of struggles....
I have 96K of unsecured debts, stopped paying my CC about 2-3 months ago, and SO far....no body has filed to sue me (yet!) and some days my phone rings off the wall,(answering machine takes care of that one) and some days it never rings......TRY to ignore it...
Do some things that take your mind OFF of this issue....every chance you can get...DO those things~ watch a funny movie~go out with friends,get a pedicure at the beauty school(it's cheaper but very effective!) but GET away from it SOME, at least once a day if possible.....surround yourself with some things positive at any cost~ even if it's just music.....tv, friends....a margarita doesn't hurt either....LOL
Blessings to you~ you're in my (our!) thoughts!!!!!!!!!!
CAB

[SinkingFast]

When we gave our docs to our attny, his paralegal told us it would take a couple of weeks to go thru everything, scan our docs into their system, verify things, and such. She forgot we would be using outa State exemptions. So it actually took the them about a month to gather info from different sources and get all our Statutes applied correctly. Our attny actually Consulted with BK attnys in the old State about application of the Statutes.

Under the New Law, attnys are liable for each filing. Some attnys are quicker than others at verifying info. And, as Minny said, sometimes attnys' assistants don't know who the attny has gotten what from. Esp if the attny is meeting with prospective clients in the evenings or on the weekends when the assistant is not in the office.

[gacreditguy]

"On top of it, I had a collection agency pull my cell phone records to find out who I have been calling."

Can a collection agency legally pull cell phone records??? I would be so pi$$ed if they did that to me.. OMG, I am furious just reading that one line in your post..

[anonymuse]

"On top of it, I had a collection agency pull my cell phone records to find out who I have been calling."

Can a collection agency legally pull cell phone records??? I would be so pi$$ed if they did that to me.. OMG, I am furious just reading that one line in your post..

Yeah, wonder where the fine print in the contract that is found? I think NO WHERE!!! I'd be furious.

I was furious today when a medical billing office called me at work. She kept asking me questions and I gave one word or no answers--just silence. Then she goes, "This is probably a bad place to call you at and you can't answer--here, my phone number is ...., please call me tomorrow." We only have less than 20 people in our office, the walls are then, and I believe the office manager listens in on the phone calls.

[miss puff]

SinkingFast, Minnie~Jeepmom,lrprn,Jman, and many many others will take you in and give you some relief in the "Facts aspect" of all of this, while others like myself will try to help you come back down to a clamer level....if there is such a thing!!

Cab, you are always so good for moral support. Thanks for posting that.. there are many times I feel I shouldn't post in a new thread because I don't know all the facts and laws. But you come in without that knowledge and offer support. It's good to know we all give something in all different areas.

Welcome confused, I, like cab, am fairly new to all of this as well but know how you are feeling. I am feeling many of the same stresses right now. Since your seeing the para on Thursday, ask her what type of time frame they are looking at. Hopefully with the last of the docs you need and your credit certificate things will start to move right along. Best wishes

[CAB_44]

aawwww....thanks MP~
well, there have been many others who have done the very same for me....and I am always very thankful for any support that I can get~ I know the feeling of how good it feels to know someone cares~ and this is what this forum seems to be based on...people who are hurting caring about others who are in the same boat~ ....I appreciate everyone here for whatever help they can give to me and to anyone else~ it's just what life is all about~ helping others~ picking up others when they are down, and shedding some hope on a life that is interupted by these "storms"....
this is a big storm for me, but I have carried it for many years, thinking that I could get out on my own. When I finally realized it wasn't going to happen, as I was trying to do the right thing, but I kept getting deeper and deeper into trouble. I came here and found others that were carrying the exact same burdens as I had, and finding a way out... and you know how liberating that was for me, I know you do, because I think you feel it too!!! We all do~
Like I said in another post...some days are diamonds and some days are stones..it's a day by day thing...your feelings are up in the air one day and down in the depths of hell the next~ I come here for the POSITIVE, and there's plenty of that to go around in this forum and I am forever grateful!!
Thanks to ALL the MODS and good FOLKS here who help make this successful~ we're ALL helping each other...
Everyday, I read about another person who joins in and says...I have been reading for sometime and this is such great knowledge and advice and now I have a question.... at which point everyone jumps at the chance to give some FABULOUS advice~it's priceless........!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Like I said...I haven't completed my journey through this yet, it's just beginning, but I too hope to be as knowledgeable as SF(I'M ALWAYS AMAZED AT SF...is she fabulous or what...)??!!!!!!, Minney, JM,lrprn, Jman....the list of people goes on and on.....someday~that I may also help someone other than just emotional support, but hey~it's what I have to give so far~ thanks for the compliment MP~ I think you're a sweetie~
Blessings to all~~ CAB

[Confused06]

Thanks guys for your support. I find it very hard to talk with others about my situation and coming here makes me know it is not the end of the world.

I do have a question though. If you were in a relationship when you decided to file, did that relationship survive? My boyfriend is having a very difficult time dealing with me filing for bankruptcy. We are/were planning on getting married next year but all of that is up in the air. He is made because I never confided in him about my finances and when we see each other, it is like walking on egg shells. Honestly, I am not sure if we will survive this or not.

[CAB_44]

Bless your heart Confused06~
Well, as I told someone else....men just kind of "Handle things different".....some ignore it all together...like "it's YOUR problem"....and some kind of try to deal with it...in a round about way.... my husband KNEW we were probably doing too much CC use, but he just kind of let me handle it....I was doing pretty good, until I realized he didn't know or seem to care at all what was goin on...so I figured well, if he's NOT gonna say anything...I guess it's ok....WRONG!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I think what I would encourage you to do is just truthfully sit down with him, and just tell him your heart felt problems....if he can't find someway to deal with this NOW...he'll probably never be able to handle it...and that's not good for either one of you......you could wind up in divorce court next.....
He may feel like you've "kept" something from him, and he may be feeling that he did trust you, but now he's not sure if he should.....It's ALL normal feelings....hurt, reject, all of it...on both of your parts...you BOTH have the same feelings, but for different reasons....hope that makes some sense.....
I know at this time, I have a 22 yr old son who is living with his girlfriend that he says he intends to marry, but I was amazed that he has kept most of his financial problems to HIMSELF...that just shocked me.......(still does )....and I told him..."honey, you better spill the beans NOW, because if you get married, she will think you to be dishonest and that you don't trust HER to handle what you BOTH should be HANDELING together.....
that's what it's all about.....you trust and honor each others feelings...you may not agree, but you have to resolve what to do about a problem TOGETHER before you can have a long marriage.... and offer a solution that you both can live with...even if he acts like he doesn't WANT to hear it....he'll have to at some point....
then you have to ask yourself this...do YOU really want to spend your life with someone that won't help you with a problem NOW....cuz it's probably NOT gonna get better after you get married......(I always thought we could work out anything after we got married.....then I GOT married....hahahaahahaha there was just SO much LOVE.........hahahahahaha)

My son is contemplating BK too....and I'm not sure how his girlfriend will handle it, but I've told him....you've GOT to lay it ALL out on the table NOW....you have to share your problems before you get married.....
Hey~ Life, marriage all of it, is hard enough on a GOOD day~ let alone when problems arise.....give yourself the kind of life you deserve...an honest, loving, truthful life of love and laughter~
If he chooses to leave, well as hard as that may be...and it would be I'm sure...you'd have to let him go....or you will have tons of problems after you get married....MONEY is the #1 problem in marriages.....it's a fact~ some manage to escape the divorce over that one...but MOST don't......
Just some thoughts sweetie~ i've been married for almost 27 years....and who knows...we may not make it either you can never quarentee what the other will do....or yourself for that matter.........but odds are good, he has come around to facing this problem and excepting it as "our problem" and we are dealing with it....we lean on each other....and I'm thankful~ but it's CONSTANT work....when you are UP and he is DOWN....you have to help each other and take turns picking each other up....when you BOTH have a crappy day~ seperate yourselves and do something that each of you enjoy by yourself or with other friends.....
dang.....now I'm just ramblin' sorry Confused~ I've probably confused you MORE!!!!!!!!!!! didn't mean to give a speach~
have a good day~

[jane taylor]

Boy can I relate to being up one day and down the next over this BK thing!! There are not many days that I don't shed a few tears. Very few experiences in my life have been as gut-wrenching as realizing we had no choice but to file.

Although life is far better than before we filed, it is still very hard to be in a Ch. 13 with two teenagers. I know that like everything else it will be a valuable learning experience for everyone, but it is difficult nonetheless.

We will survive

jane