Spiraling out of control - warp speed

[lost11]

I am so lost and scared and angry!
My husband started his own "dream" business, its what he always wanted. I supported him. Now going on his third year the doors could be closing. There are creditors galore some of who are threating to come after our personal assets and stating for us to get an attorney (he was/is a sole proprietor). We dont own anything. Basically, he wasnt smart with the money that the business brought in and now there is massive amounts of bills due. What makes me angry is that I look at these bills and I think okay that are this amount and we dont have that amount so where is that amount! There is nothing to show for it and I know it didnt just disappear. We dont own our home, we dont own our cars, we dont have any boats, atvs, etc. I do know that during the first year a lot the money went to start up costs and to staying operational so that started the hole we are in. I dont know where to turn or what to do. We have three children and I'm completely terrified. I dont know if bankruptcy is the option. All I know is that we dont have the money owed and all of our bank accounts are overdrawn. No savings, no stocks, no 401s; Im a stay at home mom.
All I can do is cry tears of anger.

[HHM]

You have huge bills and no assets, I don't see that you have any choice but to file BK. Because your income was derived from a business, your BK will be more complicated and time consuming than most, but in the end, it will be well worth it. If anyone needs a fresh start, it sounds like you do.

If I were you, I would start scheduling consultations with BK attorney's in your area and find out what your options are. Visit at least 3 different attorneys.

[lost11]

Thank you for the reply!
This is all so scary and embarrassing. I really feel completely stupid about the choices that were made and for not being more involved in the business with my husband. Maybe two heads would have been better than one.
Searching for attorneys - ugg.

[SinkingFast]

Lost,..........

Don't focus on Coulda, Shoulda, Woulda.

Hubby got out there and tried. If he hadn't done that, you both would have been left wondering WHAT IF??!!

No life experience is a loss if you learn from it and move forward.

That's what you're doing now. Moving forward after having learned a lot.

[Spartan]

Look at it this way. You and your family are in good health. You have no assets to lose to creditors. Filing BK will simply wipe the slate clean for you.

Don't look back. There is no reason to drill holes in your heart and soul over what could have been. Let go off the past. Focus on what to do from this point on. Don't waste energy on feeling mad or upset. Scare and anger cannot solve anything. Nothing to be scared about. BK will get you the fresh start. What to do with the fresh start, is up to you. Instead of being overwhelmed by the sense of fear and anger, steer your energy to the fresh start.

It will be ok. You have made it once. You can do it again.

[lisac77]

I know how you feel. Our business was "making it" in that it paid for itself, but we get no money from it whatsoever and DH works more than 100 hours per week! Then he got shot in an armed robbery. We were just so unprepared to file bankruptcy. DH is making poor decisions in terms of his health and our finances. He's afraid of filing bankruptcy and I am going out of my mind with worry.

This was his dream. I didn't want it. For the longest time I told him that it wouldn't be worth it, he'd hate it, and we'd lose our money. He had his heart set on it, so I finally just said OK, do it. And guess what? He hated it, the bills at home aren't getting paid, I'm in debt to credit card companies for the first time in my life, and his health (both mental and physical) is deteriorating at a rapid pace. I am so very angry with him on so many levels. I feel like he ruined our lives.

Anyway, you're not alone in your feelings of anger, sadness, and betrayal. I really understand! I hope things work out for you and your family.