Wish there weren't so many snarky people.

[Flowers]

kool, I love throwing new words into the mix. congrats on a peaceful dinner!

[momof5]

I used the word 'snarky' last night at the dinner table. I told 2 of the boys who were bickering to stop being so snarky with each other. Caught them totally off guard. The bickering ended and we enjoyed a peaceful dinner. Needless to say it is now the word of the day around here

[epiphany]

What will people think of me if I tell them I'm broke? What will my family think? ... Blah blah blah. When the truth is $ doesn't have feelings. It doesn't care about you. Why should you devote all your emotions and energy to something that can't return it? I don't know if I'm conveying this well,

Very well conveyed. And very true.

I struggle with this too but it does get easier with each passing day.

ep

[AngelinaCatHub]

[MotherTrucker]

MajorMike, you were the first person to respond to my initial post on this forum and I must admit I was put off at first. However, I want to thank you for putting my experiences in perspective for me. By asking the questions you did and sharing the particulars of your situation I soon saw that I wasn't alone AND was wasting time freaking out about my situation. MajorMike helped me deal with my little pity party and get back on track. So thanks, buddy!

As one who went through filing Ch. 13, the 341, and objections to confirmation without the benefit of this forum, I know how lonely and miserable the process can be without guidance and support. Everyone here should be thanked and commended for the help and assistance they provide. You all ROCK and/or ROLL!

I wanted to share something that was said in the mandatory money mgmt class we took before our 341. It stuck with me as one of my major obstacles that I need to overcome regarding $. It had to do with a person's emotional ties to their finances. When your sense of self-worth becomes wrapped up in your bank acct., it becomes increasingly difficult to make rational decisions about it. What will people think of me if I tell them I'm broke? What will my family think? I can't support my family and I'm such a loser... Blah blah blah. When the truth is $ doesn't have feelings. It doesn't care about you. Why should you devote all your emotions and energy to something that can't return it? I don't know if I'm conveying this well, but what I took away from it was that I needed to depersonalize my relationship with $. And that has been unbelievably difficult! But, little by little, as I attempt to stop the emotional knee-jerk reaction to situations and look at them rationally, I'm seeing the truth of this and I see solutions to my financial problems as business decisions, not personal reflections of my character. Of course, it won't put new tires on my car, but it sure has helped me devise creative ways to SAVE the $ for my tires, that I wouldn't have been able to see before while having a meltdown. Truth is, life is going to throw you curveballs. How you handle the curveballs is entirely up to you. But I've found that at least attempting to remove the emotional stress from my view of money helps get me to the solution much more quickly. So...that's my two cents.

Oh, and thank you to everyone here...I haven't met one single snarky!!

[MajorMike]

I just have to say that I appreciate all the ones that are totally DONE with their own BK yet continue to come to the board day after day replying with the same things over and over because someone new had the very same question someone else did just last week. They don't get frustrated, they don't mind posting those same links that were posted years ago, and they are very helpful. These people do this out of the goodness of their hearts, and they don't get paid. I find that very admirable and although I may sound harsh when I post to ya'll, it's just my personality. It's not meant to hurt anyone, or piss anyone off. It's just me...upfront and to the point. I tell the truth the first time and although some can't handle the truth, BK is not to be sugarcoated. It is a serious thing. The one thing I do know is that we can handle this thing together and learn from one another. I thank the mods and members who help me and everyone else every day. Sometimes I post without thinking as things just roll off the top of my head and I'm not thinking in what way it will affect others. Please don't take that personally. I apologize if I rubbed someone the wrong way. I'm really a good guy and if you met me on the street, we'd probably have a beer or two together and have a good laugh. BK sucks. PERIOD but just being able to vent and talk about it to complete strangers who care, is a blessing in itself.

[AngelinaCatHub]

If you experience posts that are purposely offensive/snide/instigative etc. please report the member to any of the moderator staff, so that we can deal with the issue as BassBoy stated.

Greetings HRx, Please see one person who has made a "super post". You don't know what a bad forum is until I was overwhelmed with cyber crap.

The person who was "guilty" was really not bad. Frustrated of course, and we are all that way here. That party came back with understanding and civility. We ALL must have thicker skins to go through all this bk sh*t.

Now don't get me wrong HRx as you are the boss, but I am an observer with fairlly thick skin. I think this was very healthy and we all have learned, others will read.

Unless they get vary belligerent or personal, this party made a "happening" and then, we all learn.

I applaud you HRx as a supermod, in that this place is the best place and therapy than I have ever seen or paid for. Thank you to you and yours. 'Hub

[Phillymanhere]

It's funny: I tend to see almost all the responses as kind and generous. When I read a blunt statement from someone, I sort of assume that they are simply trying to help me "get on the right page." I guess I "read into" their statement a degree of support.

The more I've read on this board, the more I think there's a deeper logic, a deeper wisdom at work in the words of those who have successfully gone through this process and changed their lives for the better. I assume these folks want the poster to get better and to successfully resolve their problems.

I think for the most part this forum is amazingly helpful. Some people who come here are really lost (including me), in denial, or simply trapped in disastrous thinking about their finances. The blunt responses, to my mind, are simply an attempt to reach someone who is going to have major trouble if he/she continues with their current pattern of thinking.

[chloe0724]

I'm glad there have been so many positive responses.

[epiphany]

I guess what I'm saying is please bear with me if I tend to loose it, or need a little hand holding. Frankly, I have no other place IRL to discuss these issues or my feelings surrounding them. So, If I need emotional support I'm likely to come here. If nothing else, it helps a good deal merely to write down what I'm feeling.

Believe it or not, I know exactly how you feel. I have told no one until today, and the only reason I shared it with a friend is because she told me today that she is afraid that if one of her properties doesn't sell, she may have to consider bankruptcy...she is terrified.

This is a great place for emotional support. All I am saying is that not everyone's shoulders are available to cry on and that's okay...some people fill that role better than others.

Don't get discouraged when you don't receive the responses that you want at any given time. The benefits here far outweigh any negativity.

And you can cry on my shoulder too...I don't mind.

ep

[Help!]

That link is hilarious.

LOL, too f-ing funny

I almost fell out of my chair laughing. One of our more frivolous credit card purchases was a Darth Vader costume for my husband three years ago. Hmm... that gives me an idea!! Wait, would that count as income?

[goingout]

Goingout,
Vent as much as you want or need too, we're here to listen and help..... I'll even hand you a "crying towel" once in a while. I know I sure did a lot of "bawling" before i filed bankruptcy and when my bankruptcy "blew up in my face"...... and turned into a "nightmare from hell"..... then I really come unglued at the seams.

So ask any and all questions you may have, cry on a shoulder if need be, cause we really do understand how you feel.

You are a sweetheart.

[Minnymouth]

Goingout,
Vent as much as you want or need too, we're here to listen and help..... I'll even hand you a "crying towel" once in a while. I know I sure did a lot of "bawling" before i filed bankruptcy and when my bankruptcy "blew up in my face"...... and turned into a "nightmare from hell"..... then I really come unglued at the seams.

So ask any and all questions you may have, cry on a shoulder if need be, cause we really do understand how you feel.

[goingout]

I understand your position but please consider the following:

The moderators, and some old timers, have many posts to monitor and answer to when they feel an OP has been steered the wrong way (and they are very good about correcting the course when need be). It's an enormous undertaking. To take the time to consider how to "tactfully" respond to each and every post is not a luxury that they have. Often, they just respond with the answer to your question or steer you to where you may find it with no niceties whatsoever. That may seem crude but it is completely helpful and they do it for us. I think it's damn nice of complete strangers who care about the outcome of my BK enough to want to help me out.

I expect it would be an enormous undertaking. I think too, the onus is upon the OP not to take every single response at face value. It think it is important to keep in mind that you really don't know the credentials of every single person who posts here and any advice should be examined closely and researched before being taken at face value.

Like I said, I have no problem whatsoever with bluntness, I do not expect anyone to pussy foot around with me in attempt to spare my feelings, when my feelings are a direct result of a situation which has resulted from the poor choices I have made in life. However, I do expect common curtousy and respect. (Not saying that mods and oldtimers don't already do that.)

I guess what I'm saying is please bear with me if I tend to loose it, or need a little hand holding. Frankly, I have no other place IRL to discuss these issues or my feelings surrounding them. So, If I need emotional support I'm likely to come here. If nothing else, it helps a good deal merely to write down what I'm feeling.

[HRx]

If you experience posts that are purposely offensive/snide/instigative etc. please report the member to any of the moderator staff, so that we can deal with the issue as BassBoy stated.