Question Helping Parents through Bankruptcy

[adaughter]

I feel so hopeless right now 2 years ago my family discovered that my dad had taken out a substantial amount of debt into my mothers name and his name. The way we found out at first was that my mom was about to be sued for 12000 loan he had taken out then but we paid that right away. My poor mom who has never used a credit card in her life and worka 12 hours a day and saved every penny is being hit hard from this. It has been 2 years and my dad still has credit cards adding up to over 35000 and my mothers name is on them as well. He hasn't used the credit cards or contacted his creditors for the past 2 years and now the collectors are catching up to them. I am a college student their daughter staying home for this semester in order to fix their situation. I have hired a bankruptcy attorney this past week but I am scared that we will be served with a lawsuit or my mothers wages will be garnished before we get to the filing of the bankruptcy. I cant eat or sleep I feel so hopeless like I am about to go crazy. is anyone in a situation like mine?

[BROKENN]

You can get the lawyer to file right away and then get the rest of the paperwork in right after.

You will also feel better being proactive and getting something done!

[AngelinaCatHub]

I hate to ask: What did Dad use the money for? How could he hide that kind of spending? I as a man have an answer and I pray I would be wrong.

Any amount that big would need your Mother's signature. How did he get it in her name too, and keep it a secret? 'Hub

[adaughter]

Well he says that he wasnt able to make ends meet at the time because it was solely on my moms employment...but that doesnt make sense because we live in an apt which costs way more now. but I do know my dad and hes not the kind to be that stupid I think he just got in over his head in trying to make ends meet/paying credit cards with interest doubling without telling my mom-and he would take trips to see his sick mother in asia a lot-against my moms will. also the one time we paid the credit card 2 years ago in my moms name he had forged her signature and my mom didnt want him accused for fraud.

She is trapped in this arranged marriage and will not leave him because of cultural pressures. But karma is a ***** when they came to america he would only give her 20 dollars a week and not tell her about any finances. Now this house survivies solely on my mother and he should be lucky enough to still live in this house.-I am just trying to protect the money she has saved up since the last blow to her savings account he caused 2 years ago.

the sad thing is his mother is now on her deathbed and he will not be able to visit her because of this.

[BROKENN]

AD, I think you need to get your mom to sign Power of Attorney over to you
Then you can take care of her and make the correct decisions.

[adaughter]

if she signs over a power of attorney from her savings account over to me will that affect me negatively? wont that look bad during the bankruptcy bec our lawyer said not to make any crazy moves like switching money over to me and things like that. but I dont want a lawsuit or something to freeze her bank accounts because I have been reading about a lot of people getting their bank accounts frozen and wages garnished without knowing there is a lawsuit against them. thats my main concern right now.

btw thanks for the quick responses they are really helpfull

[BROKENN]

No, I mean as a decision maker. NOT changing accounts. Talk to your BK atty if it is OK during BK and if they can help. You then can go with her to meetings etc.

And in the future, you can protect her accounts

[AngelinaCatHub]

Brokenn means a Durable Power of Attorney. I would recommend even further, that if you can, and she agrees, can she be medically proclaimed incompetent due to stress or other stuff? This would also allow you to sign your father off of her accounts, or make a Revocable Trust in her name with you as Trustee.

I have bad vibes about dad and the money. I also would say hell to family traditions if dad is a bad actor, dad needs to go. ONLY my opinion. 'Hub

[adaughter]

well the savings account with the majority of the money does not have his name on the account-which was smart of my mom. just one checking account they use jointly to pay the bills. But she would have no problem signing over a power of attorney to me if that will benefit us.

I think there is a bad perception of my father on this forum now I mean he made mistakes and is for sure paying back for them right now in this situation. He is just helpless at this point and really doesn't have any spending freedom at the moment. My mom also says that she believes you shouldn't leave a person in their worst moment-bec like what would he do where would he live he only has me my mom and my little brother. he is type 1 diabetic and cant really hold a job. she makes me understand that you need to have a heart in situations like this bec believe me I have told him many times how lucky he is to be still living here.

after all money is just money right? sometimes the sad thing is it seems like people even me hold more value to money then having compassion for a person

[BROKENN]

Don't get me wrong! I don't think he should be kicked out.

I just wanted you to truly be able to take care of your family as efficiently and correctly as possible

[AngelinaCatHub]

well the savings account with the majority of the money does not have his name on the account-which was smart of my mom. just one checking account they use jointly to pay the bills. But she would have no problem signing over a power of attorney to me if that will benefit us.

I think there is a bad perception of my father on this forum now I mean he made mistakes and is for sure paying back for them right now in this situation. He is just helpless at this point and really doesn't have any spending freedom at the moment. My mom also says that she believes you shouldn't leave a person in their worst moment-bec like what would he do where would he live he only has me my mom and my little brother. he is type 1 diabetic and cant really hold a job. she makes me understand that you need to have a heart in situations like this bec believe me I have told him many times how lucky he is to be still living here.

after all money is just money right? sometimes the sad thing is it seems like people even me hold more value to money then having compassion for a person

[BKOnce]

I observed many "arranged" foreign-marriages failures in USA:

1. Spouses use each other to gain legal residence in US (green card);

2. Spouses cheat on each other once they arrived (either new adultery, BF/GF, or still feed/give $$ to his/her secret, or previous spouses/family/kids abroad at home).

3. Once they get card/citizenship/goal obtained, often divorce followed after..etc.

Just an observation, no personal opinion.

[fltoo]

I don't think this is the type of arranged marriage the OP is talking about. I think she is referring to "culturally arranged."

[adaughter]

its okay I understand and all these observations have definitely been taken into consideration before but their just not valid assumptions because he is always home and under our supervision most of the time.

also my mom came to this country on account of my dad so that would be invalid-they have been together for 20 years suprisingly hah I really do believe this is a case of money mismanagment/bad spending and trying to deal with financial trouble without consulting his significant other (my mother).

but I mean if he still is not saying the truth about what he spent the money on-I will not rule out these options. that would really be sadly disappointing and I'm sure he will suffer the consequences if he hasn't already.

[BROKENN]

I really do believe this is a case of money mismanagment/bad spending and trying to deal with financial trouble without consulting his significant other (my mother).

Exactly.... why I was giving MHO. Just get what needs to be done so that you can go to school and actually study!