Support group

[Goldline]

I'd like to start a support group in my area. Does anyone have any input or suggestions on how I can get started? And is it even a good idea?

[aa06a47]

I would say a support group is very much needed to go through this bk process. Even if it is to cry on someone elses shoulder or complain about something. But I doubt you would get many folks to attend. Not many people want other people to know about them being broke / bankrupt. I doubt I would go to one, but I do find this board very theraputic. In a weird way, we are kinda like family here, all with the same financial problem...broke/busted/ , all trying out best to get out of it, and very few members here judging us. (some are, but that makes it a real family!! LOL!!.)

[poorme]

Since there are several online forums for support, including THIS EXCELLENT one, I presume you're referring to a local meeting type....right?

If so, I would suggest a couple of rules followed by other support groups, notably the 12-steppers:[LIST]
- NO public advertising
- NO public Meeting Notice or schedules
- NO Names - other than first names used. Let people introduce themselves how they want to be known.
- Quietly arrange for financial planners/resources to visit regularly (no fee, of course) to provide helpful planning and/or insight.
- You'll need a meeting place, hopefully 'free' - try churches, library, hospitals, etc.
- No 'dues', per se. You might pass-the-hat each meeting for a refreshment fund, etc.

In other words, give the attendees a warm, quiet, supportive place where they can speak or listen, without shame. Occasionally, some may want to share their story or successes.

[SinkingFast]

I'd kinda like to have one here where I live.

Talking on this Forum is great, but we're all still isolated in a sense.

When I leave the computer and the house, and am out in public, I have moments when I feel extremely poor.

Yesterday, at the grocery, a woman pulls up in her newer, fully outfitted, $50K SUV, parks in the fire lane right in front of the door as we're crossing the drive to the front of the store. She's wearing casual, but I can tell, expensive clothing. She has an aire about her that reeks money. And she has a sticker in the back window for the High School our girls go to.

I had a momentary wilt in my mind. We'd arrived in a 14 year old, banged up, rusted out heep. Knowing there's not much money to make it to the end of the month and counting pennies in my mind.

Our girls are Varsity Lettermen on the High School Swim team here. Helped that team place top 10 in State. The Girl's Swim Team is one of the Pride sports for that High School and our girls are a part of that athletic "good impression". That team dresses up to go to school on away meet days. They remain dressed in their nice clothes for the bus ride to the away school so when they enter the building, the other school has a good impression of our program. We, parents, provide snacks and drinks to the kids of the visiting teams at home meets because many of the teams travel an hour or more to get back home after a meet. It's a program of excellence and class in every way. Not just athletically.

It would be great to share that kind of stuff with other people who are in the same place as us. Spring Break came and went. Our family stayed home. Other girls on the swim team, their families went to Colorado, or Cancun, or where ever.

[debtisbad]

Sinking,

I have the same feelings going on. BUT, remember you cannot judge a book by its cover. This is something I am really working on. I am constantly surrounded by these folks. Just remember, you do not know their financial situation. Maybe the are credit card rich. Maybe the person you think is poor has a million in the bank. America is the truly the land of perceptions!!!!!!

[SinkingFast]

I know, Debt. You are so right.

I just remembered a story my Sis-in-Law told me.

The small town they lived in, the Bank was a few blocks from their house. Nice late spring/early summer day, SIL decided to walk over to the bank instead of driving the car thru the drive-thru. That particular bank had a "Walk Up" window in one wall of the main building. Customers could "Walk Up" to the window instead of going into the bank lobby and dealing with a teller over the counter. SIL decided to use the "Walk Up" that day as well.

There were a couple of people in line ahead of her, but the weather was nice, birds were chirping, and SIL was enjoying getting a little sun as well. The lady in line ahead of her was wearing an old frayed, thin coat. Raggedy old clothes. Carrying a rather large, well worn, tapestry fabric purse. SIL thought the poor woman was a bag lady.

When that woman got up to the window, set her purse on the little counter ledge, and opened it, my SIL was shocked. She said she'd never seen so much money in her entire life. The purse was just stuffed full. All neatly sorted, folded and rolled, with rubberbands around each wad. SIL was in such shock that she couldn't remember exactly what the woman did at the window in the way of banking business. The woman closed her purse, turned around and walked away.

SIL said she remembered vaguely hearing the teller inside say, "May I help you??" a couple of times while she stood there slack jawed, watching the woman walk away. SIL finally regained her senses to step to the window to tend to her own business.

Things are not always as they appear, that's for sure.

At least we own our 14 year old, rusted out, banged up heep!!