Some days are better than others......

[ConnieS]

since we filed on August 10. Our 341 is still tenatively set for Sept. 22nd. Somedays I think I am okay, somedays all I do is sit and fret and worry about all the what if's and maybes. I still ask myself I this happened to us! I never in a million years would have dreamed we would ever find ourselves in a position to have to file bk

We have been struggling so desperatley to keep up on all of our regular bills this summer. I work for a School District and am not employed over the summer. It is a real tough time for us right now, and with two teenage daughter who need school clothes and supplies for school. In other years I would have fallen back on credit cards but no more of that for us! I start back to work tomorrow but it will be three weeks till the paycheck kicks in, so I know we have some more lean weeks ahead.

I worry all the time about our upcoming 341. I know in my heart that everything on our petition is truthful and accurate and there is no reason for any "questions" about it, but I worry still the same.

I try to spare the DH all of this as much as I can. His mother had a massive stroke a few months ago and is now in a nursing home and not doing so well. He has a very stressful job and too many other obligations and commitments and I can tell the stress is starting to wear on him. He has been my rock through all of this and I hate to burden him with my fears and such.

I just want to have this 341 over and done with so I can start to "breathe" a little bit again. It just feels like this bk hangs on me like a heavy burden that I just can't shake. How do you put on a normal face to everyone you know when you are constantly agonizing and worrying over this?

Sorry, am I rambling? I hate to sound like a whiner but if anyone knows exactly what I am talking about it's you guys. Thanks for listening, it helps just to put it down in words.

Thanks again
(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))) ))))))))))))

[miss puff]

Sorry, am I rambling? I hate to sound like a whiner but if anyone knows exactly what I am talking about it's you guys. Thanks for listening, it helps just to put it down in words.

ConnieS, I know exactly how you are feeling as do so many of us. You don't sound like a whiner at all. I had a really down day the other day and typed it all out and felt so much better afterwards. BK is such a hard process to go through. It's such a struggle. I get so annoyed when people say BK is the easy way out-HA!!! If only they knew. Hang in there hun. We're all here for you. *hugs*

[SinkingFast]

Must be a guy thing, Connie. Hubby doesn't wanna hear about it here either. He just wants it to be over and done with.

I know the feelings you're going thru too.

Our girls had to do "Back to School" clothes shopping at Goodwill recently. We had gotten an unexpected $50 refund on an old utility acct or else we couldn't have gone shopping.

The girls seemed OK with it. Shopping at Goodwill. They did the try on thing and the whole 9 yards just like they were in a regular store. The longer we were there, the hotter and more flushed I got. I had to sit in a chair that was "For Sale" while the girls shopped. All I could do was sit and stare and think how poor we are now. I was so depressed.

You aren't a whiner. We all have those moments/days/weeks.

We're here for you. Just post anytime you need to vent.

[lrprn]

ConnieS, I know exactly how you are feeling as do so many of us.

We all have been right where you are, ConnieS. If someone had told me even five years ago we'd be filing bk someday, I would have told them they were crazy!

Bankruptcy = worry for most of us. Being one of those folks who had one of the worst things I could imagine actually happen to us (3 objections filed against our Ch 13 plan), it's still surviveable. Some days are awful, more days are good, and most days are inbetween somewhere.

On the worst days I work hard to convince myself that all the worry in the world won't change a darned thing when I have no control over what I'm worrying about. Before we filed, to find a positive way to deal with the stress, I started learning everything I could about Ch 13 bankruptcy and began lurking on the bk boards. I found a home here and an even better way to deal with my bk stress - I found the mother lode of people just like me to share my troubles with who truly understand the worry, the fear, the anger, and the sadness on the worst days. Don't know how I would make it without our wonderful community here!

[ConnieS]

Thanks so much for all the kinds words and support. Knowing I can come here and not be "judged" and looked down on because of filing bk means the world to me. This is the greatest place for me to be right now!

[debtisbad]

Connie, you are not judged here!! I would never in my wildest dreams have believed that I would someday file BK. But I did! I never lived beyond my means either! It just that our economy has changed and I had to go back to school to get retrained. DH has had 2 heart attacks at 40. He won't say it but I believe it is due to his IT job being outsourced. Also we had house problems. Bought a house in GA. I did not realize that they do not license their builders so technically a lawncare worker can become a home builder. The front porch (and bricking) fell off our house and into the front yard. Cost almost 50k to fix just so we could sell. Should have walked then, but didn't. Builder filed BK so would not be liable. Hubby now despondent and will not talk to me hardly at all. He spends to make himself feel better even though I b*tch all the time for him to stop dropping $200 at Target or walmart. He did it again last night while I was at the library studying. I cannot babysit his credit cards 24 hours a day. As soon as I get my degree, he is outta here if he cannot stop his wild spending. I am not going down this road again! He is Mr. perfect, you know the type. You see the perfectly dressed guy in the mercedes. That is my husband. Yep, and doesn't have a penny to his name!!!!!!!!!!!!

[BlessedOne]

I am so thankful for finding this forum and to know I am not the only person feeling overwhelmed by BK. There are days when I don't know how we are going to make it. I tell my DH if we can just make it through this month, we are one month closer to finishing our Ch 13. It has been so hard for us to digest the fact we had to file, because we don't know what happened to get us to this point.

We have good incomes, only had 1 credit card and modest cars. I think the comment about the changing economy is on point. It seems our troubles just popped up all at once and we did not know what to do. It has been a hard 2 years for us and frankly I don't know how we have made it this far. I don't know if we can take another 3 years of this. Our home has an adjustable mortgage and we have not been able to refi due to BK payoff amount and credit scores being too low to get 100% financing. Our house payment has increased by $800 since we filed. We were paying $1500 and now it is over $2300.

I also try to take the pressure off my DH but I know he worries just as much. We are working on cleaning up our credit so we can try to refi this time next year. We are hoping an praying for the best.

Thanks for letting me vent.

[$$only4ever]

I just gave everyone a group hug.

Everyone has days like each and everyone of you have. No one says "When I grow up I want to file bankruptcy." I remember when I filed, then had to convert to a chapter 13, I was as low as anyone could go and someone on this forum gave me great advice. He said to stop beating myself up and look at it as a business decision. You did what you could, and now you are trying to make it right. I never forgot that advice and it did make me better. I hope it makes all of you feel a little better today too.

[miss puff]

I remember when I filed, then had to convert to a chapter 13, I was as low as anyone could go and someone on this forum gave me great advice. He said to stop beating myself up and look at it as a business decision. You did what you could, and now you are trying to make it right. I never forgot that advice and it did make me better. I hope it makes all of you feel a little better today too.

$$, I too received some encouragement from a memeber that I will never forget:

It's only a financial process (I wish I had learned that) that we go thru to relieve us of our debts. IT'S NOT LIFE THREATENING UNLESS WE MAKE IT THAT WAY - mentally.

For me, it was that statement that made me quit beating myself up about it and try not to get down on myself mentally about it. To pick up the pieces and start putting my life back together again.

[ConnieS]

I guess I am just going to have to start truly looking at this as a "business" transaction and not let it get to me so personally. It's like my lawyer told us, these processes were established exactly for persons like ourselves who find themselves in the situation where there is truly no other way out. For months we argued that there had to be another way to resolve our debt problems, but there truly was no other recourse for us. Under the law we are all entitled to bk protection and what is our other option but to essentially lose everything and be totally distitute and homeless. I don't think that is a choice anyone would willingly make.

[CAB_44]

you know~
I was on another message board, asking for help
MSN.... a month an a half ago~
and you would be shocked at how many people said this to me about filing BK
"honey, 90K in CC debt is SO DOable.....you can pay that off in no tiime....
~ I SPEWED to that idiot
"Oh yeah honey....well I been "DOIN' it for 15 years.....it's not going away".....
she just scoffed at me.....DO-ABLE my hiney~ if I made 200K a year.....MAYBE!
I'm just amazed how people think that BK is the easy way out....

I did have one guy though that really was kind and offered me a lot of help~
He basically told her off for me....then I had this old guy badgering me about thinking on filing BK~ he was so self rightous, and really gave me the how to.
I'm SO glad that I found this forum....it sure has made a difference to how I feel about my situation~ I've long lost the feelings of guilt and all of the stress is beginning to fade some....it 's been a blessing for me to have this forum with all of the GREAT advice that has been written..
The funny thing was, when I first posted on MSN, I only asked for people who had "walked the BK mile to respond" and it was nine out of ten people that responded had never even considered BK, much less walked the mile!
I later told them all to mind their own business....but what I realized was that I was at the wrong place.....somebody on there told me about this forum...I wish I could remember who it was...I really would like to thank him/her!!!!!!!