holiday depression

[whtsamada]

Ok...I know this is totally shallow of me but the holidays just aren't the holidays without SHOPPING! At least, for me they aren't! I am trying to have a jolly attitude but I just want to buy buy buy and I have zero money! I get depressed when I think about a Christmas with no presents and I am more than a little embarrased about not being able to give presents to my friends and family. We have always been very generous with the gifts in my family and I have tried to hint to everyone that I will not have the cash this year but it is all very humiliating and depressing. I have made some excuses to avoid going home for the holidays and I am deflecting Christmas party invitations left and right....I just wish I could go to sleep and wake up in January!

[WhenThePawn]

Ok...I know this is totally shallow of me but the holidays just aren't the holidays without SHOPPING! At least, for me they aren't! I am trying to have a jolly attitude but I just want to buy buy buy and I have zero money! I get depressed when I think about a Christmas with no presents and I am more than a little embarrased about not being able to give presents to my friends and family. We have always been very generous with the gifts in my family and I have tried to hint to everyone that I will not have the cash this year but it is all very humiliating and depressing. I have made some excuses to avoid going home for the holidays and I am deflecting Christmas party invitations left and right....I just wish I could go to sleep and wake up in January!

I hear you! I've always loved buying gifts for my family and friends and get a little down in the dumps (and embarrassed) now that I can't anymore. Even worse, my family doesn't know that we declared Chapter 13 last year, and I just leave my comments to, "Wow we're broke and trying to pay off debt." I have to face that I am stuck in this mode until October 2007. (Yes, I am truly counting down.) In the meantime, I've stopped participating in the good ole grab bag with my siblings and have become very crafty. For our parents, we do things like big tin of homemade cookies, make a meal, or something along those lines. I know my parents don't expect a lot anyway and have been through hard times themselves, so I just try to remember that. If I had kids I know I wouldn't want them to spend money on me if it meant they wouldn't be able to pay the electric bill or something. With my friends, i don't feel as funny saying, "Hey, instead of exchanging this year why don't we just make sure we get together for the holidays."

The only people I actually go out and shop for are my 2 nieces, who are 1.5 and 2. But I look for bargains, coupons, and set a very strict, sensible limit of $35. No exceptions.

The people in my department at work always insist on exchanging, and I know it's hard on me and the younger guy in my department. There are 5 of us. Before BK I'd buy gifts for them at about $20 a piece. Now? I make them all something. Last year it was "Cookies in a jar" (layer pretty, colorful ingredients for cookies in a mason jar, decorate, and give them baking instructions. They would just need to add water or eggs, etc.). This year, it's homemade, heated potpourri jars. Between $4-5 a piece thank you very much, and not cheesy at all!

I've gotten very creative, that's for sure. I try not to focus on the materialistic aspect of the holidays--I know it's hard because it seems like everyone else does--but that's really not what it's all about.

In the meantime I'll just keep trying to cultivate a better attitude. Yes, I look forward to a future holiday season when a trustee isn't garnishing my wages and affecting how generous I am, but I really don't think I will go insanely nuts with shopping like I used to. At least, not on credit. From now on it will always be cash!!

[AAAArt]

Many moons ago, a friend told me that there were two things which are very hard for most people to do. The first is to say "no" and the second is to say "thank you". Most of us like being the givers, but the real reason for the season is to celebrate receiving. The baby "Jesus" if you are Christians. The "oil in the lamps not running out" if you observe Hannukah. The roots and pride of your heritage if you commemorate Kwanza.
Allow yourselve to be given to, until you can return to being able to afford to give.
Also, consider giving of your time to help serve meals or clean-up at a homeless shelter or such.
Always remember...you are stronger than your financial status and your beauty-greatness as a person doesn't depend on how much money you can have or how many gifts you can give.
It seems to me that was kinda the story-line in "It's a Wonderful Life'
"When the tough get broke, the broke get tougher!" or something like that. Art

[WhenThePawn]

Many moons ago, a friend told me that there were two things which are very hard for most people to do. The first is to say "no" and the second is to say "thank you". Most of us like being the givers, but the real reason for the season is to celebrate receiving. The baby "Jesus" if you are Christians. The "oil in the lamps not running out" if you observe Hannukah. The roots and pride of your heritage if you commemorate Kwanza.
Allow yourselve to be given to, until you can return to being able to afford to give.
Also, consider giving of your time to help serve meals or clean-up at a homeless shelter or such.
Always remember...you are stronger than your financial status and your beauty-greatness as a person doesn't depend on how much money you can have or how many gifts you can give.
It seems to me that was kinda the story-line in "It's a Wonderful Life'
"When the tough get broke, the broke get tougher!" or something like that. Art

So beautiful and well said. Thank you for helping me on my mission to feel better and cultivate a more positive attitude!

[Genenco]

Art, you have a good grasp of the new order of living.

I too feel bad, but mainly for the "Poor" in the area (I am by far NOT poor) I am used to giving with food baskets, toys and clothing and stuff like that.

But after reading your post..Yes, I will wait till I can once give again and this time for family it will be "Needful" and not "Knickknack"

[AAAArt]

Art, you have a good grasp of the new order of living.

I too feel bad, but mainly for the "Poor" in the area (I am by far NOT poor) I am used to giving with food baskets, toys and clothing and stuff like that.

But after reading your post..Yes, I will wait till I can once give again and this time for family it will be "Needful" and not "Knickknack"

Thanks for the kind words. I think that I was actually "preaching" to myself and let you listen in. A week ago, I was exactly where you were. Art

[audreyl]

I am feeling the same way. We have two little boys, 5 and 3, and it makes me feel bad that we can't get them a lot of toys and other presents they see on tv, but that's the way it is. We are declaring in Feb, and all of the Christmas expences are being paid in cash.

As for family, I am making photo collages for all of my siblings, and the boys are going to be making choc. covered pretzels and caramel popcorn to include. I am also having them paint Christmas cards to send to friends. I feel that a homemade gift from my boys is much more meaningful than a gift from any store. (And with as picky and spoiled as my siblings are, they wouldn't like anything I would buy them anyways! )