Leaving in a Huff!!!

[AAAArt]

Please note that I am leaving in a Huff!!! (They are the Cadillac of Buggies).
My apologies for having not been around much lately and I will not be around very much for a while.
Rec'd a call last Sun. that my 92 yr. old mother had fallen, broken her hip and had a hip replacement. She has now been moved from the hospital and into a nursing home. I am leaving Sunday to go back and get her settled in and will be gone most of the week.
It's been a rough week. Been really depressed. Also got a call last Sun that my 50 yr old ex-Bro-in-law died in his sleep when an aneurism burst.
Still couldn't figure out why I've been so down, until my wife reminded me that Jan. of last year was when I lost my job. Those emotional anniversaries will jump up and bite you whether you're consciously thinking of them or not.
I just wanted to let all of you know that it is not the constant harassment by some he/she who calls themselves bkfiler that is driving me away. Art

[bkfiler]

thats terrible art. i hope things go smooth and your mother gets well soon. you have a lot to work out now. just take it one day at a time. things will improve and you will be back to us here. try to log in when you can and let us know how things are going.

best wishes

[Minnymouth]

AAAArt,
Take care of yourself, get mom settled in, and try to stay cool, calm and collected thru it all... BEEN THERE, DONE IT....!!
Just take things as they come and accept what you can do "nothing" about..... makes life easier.
We'll be thinking of you,

Minny

[StaciMM]

I'm sorry to hear about your mother, Art. Travel safely, and try not to worry about the little things. Take care!

[Kam]

Take care AAAArt! We will be thinking about you!

*hugs*

[pink_amulet]

I hope for a speedy recovery for your mother, sorry to hear about your ex-b-i-l, and hope things start falling in place for you. Take care and come back if and when you can!!

take care
pink-amulet

[AMISLANDER]

January is notorious for being a not so nice month...may peace be with you and yours!

[edwards2]

AAAart - I am so sorry about your ex brother in law; my brother died from a brain aneurysm too. And your mom...hope she gets better soon. My mom fell and broke her hip as well; it is so painful for them. She went through a lengthy rehab process but she said it helped a lot. Please keep us posted on how she is doing. You are in our thoughts and prayers.

[sunshine08]

AAAArt - We understand. Please travel safe - we will all be here when you get back and I"ll take up for you while you are gone. (I'll give BK -he!! for ya, he'll love it, trust me)

Take care of your mom, enjoy your time with her and tell her how much you love her and that you are there for her.
Try and spend some extra quality time with your family, that will help with the blues.

[Genenco]

Please note that I am leaving in a Huff!!! (They are the Cadillac of Buggies).
My apologies for having not been around much lately and I will not be around very much for a while.
Rec'd a call last Sun. that my 92 yr. old mother had fallen, broken her hip and had a hip replacement. She has now been moved from the hospital and into a nursing home. I am leaving Sunday to go back and get her settled in and will be gone most of the week.
It's been a rough week. Been really depressed. Also got a call last Sun that my 50 yr old ex-Bro-in-law died in his sleep when an aneurism burst.
Still couldn't figure out why I've been so down, until my wife reminded me that Jan. of last year was when I lost my job. Those emotional anniversaries will jump up and bite you whether you're consciously thinking of them or not.
I just wanted to let all of you know that it is not the constant harassment by some he/she who calls themselves bkfiler that is driving me away. Art

My condolences to you Art in this time of sadness...

[AAAArt]

Update

Mom was taken to the ER the other night. Tests showed that she had a heart attack (mild). I know that she fears being in a nursing home more than being dead, so I am imagining that she is just letting herself die.
Things backe u and I'm not getting out of here until tomorrow and will be back Sat. hopefully.
This may be terrible to say, but I think that I really wish that she would die quickly and painlessly. Right now, if she dies, she would go out "beloved by all and a saint of a woman". If she lingers for some number of years, she will be a forgotten PITA by her friends and church which is all she has in life.
BTW, I really should state that I am an only child and not close to my mother at all. I love her and do not want her to suffer, but I don't really like her and am not sure if she knows how to "like" an adult child. I also don't like what these trips are doing to my finances as I try to recover, but I will do whatever is necessary. I know that she has and would.
Just venting, Art

[StaciMM]

Vent as much as you need! Every family has issues, and it seems that you have a healthy grasp on yours.

[bkfiler]

the honesty is breath taking. we all have to love our momma, but dont have to like what they do.

if you are good at handling that situation then when you get back i got the exact same thing here for you to deal with as well. hey, no problem! what are friends for. ill sign her over to you and wont even charge ya

hang in there art!

[sunshine08]

I can relate. My dad was in the hospital or nursing home the 3 last three motnhs of his life. He had both legs amputated, was on dialysis. Things just were not the same. He got to a point in rehab that the Army recruiter called to let him know my oldest son had enlisted. (my parents helped me raise my kids, no child support for over 13 years, except for $25) I guess he felt he had done all he could, he was tired and ready to go. He would not have wanted to be in a nursing home, unless it was very short term. He died less than a month later, but he was never the same after that day. I stayed with him the night before he died, they stopped doing dialysis so we knew it wouldn't be long. I said alot of things to him that night, verbally and mentally. I said my peace and I knew in my heart he was ready and had heard me. I never felt that I measured up. My sister is a nurse and my brother is a welder. But, as the oldest, if something was needed or they needed money, my mom came to me. Alot (probably $20,000 or so) was owed on my credit cards when daddy died. They only had disability ($800 a month) to live on. He went to dialysis at least times a week, which was 35 miles from the house. You never knew when they would send him to the hospital or change his money. I dreaded the phone at work, if it was personal, it was mom, needing money. I didn't mind, I would have done anything for them. Sometimes it just seemed nonending. Never how are you, what's going on with you etc. They went to my sisters college graduation, but not mine. At he funeral and after that, relatices on daddy's side came and kept telling me how proud he was of me and was always telling my war stories to them, I wished he had told me.
Let your mom know you care, tell her I the things that you want her to know and make your peace with her. She doesn't want to be a burden, nor does she probably not want to relocate. Let her have her dignity and find out what her last wishes are. Enjoy the time you have left. We aren't promised another day. Keep in better touch. Go to the dollar store get a bunch of cards, preaddress them, send her a couple a week. Call her more often.
I don't know if you have children, you might not be close to all of them or like their choices, but so what, its their life and their choices, it doesn't stop you loving them. You don't choose your family, you don't have to like them either, but love goes down to the bone.
God speed, God bless, we wi;; be thinking of you and your mom, and will be here when you get back.
(I am trying to keep BK straight for you too, I think it is time to take out the long guns, he is getting a little sassy, time to rein him in and show him who the boss is, wish me luck)

[robivi3]

Aaaart, sorry to hear about your dilemna. I know that when my fathers father fell and broke his hip during a stroke that my Dad had to make decisions regarding past disagreements and issues. He lived with us for several years and we all played nurse until he went to a nursing home. Nursing home is never a good thing. I can easily sympathize with your pressure from dealing with many issues that surrounded my own father, especially driving several times a week.

My Mom died of ovarian cancer in 1969 and she suffered for several years. I know that it crushed my Dad but I believe she was relieved to go. I know that she told her sister that she had seen Jesus extend his hand to her, whether she was awake or sleeping at the time I don't know.

We all have parental/child issues, they are a fact of life. Just do the right thing, a clear conscience will be your reward, roll with it and VENT when needed. No one is here to condemn, and venting is just venting period, a good vent is really healthy.