Should I Be Concerned?

[Annika]

My sister used to live with us. She moved out the first week in April. She's having credit card problems. Again. Irresponsible credit card use is why she filed bankruptcy about 3 years ago. And here she goes again. ... sigh ...

Shortly after she moved out, her creditors started calling our house, looking for her. Our phone number was/is private; the only way they could've gotten it is for her to have given it to them. My husband works 3rd shift, and the collection calls kept waking us up. We finally had our phone number changed (costed $28! Grrr!).

When she moved out, we asked her specifically to change her address on all of her bills, so they'd be delivered to her new house (she's renting). She assured me she'd already taken care of it.

Apparently she didn't, because we're STILL getting her mail.

I've been dropping her mail back into the mailbox with a note saying she moved, and her new address. She also (supposedly) filled out a change-of-address form at the post office, but it hasn't done any good. We're still getting loads of her bills. I've tried talking to her about it, and her response is for me to just throw the bills away. Yeah, like that solves anything for EITHER of us.

Should I be concerned that her name is still associated with my address? I guess I'm worried that a bill collector is going to come knocking on my door, trying to find her. My husband and I own our house, but I'm a little concerned that someone may try to sue her, and think that our house is hers or something. We can prove otherwise, of course, but it would still be an unnecessary hassle for us.

Any thoughts/suggestions?

...

P.S. I know why she doesn't want to tell anyone that she's moved. If she never sees the bills, she can pretend that they don't exist!

[AMISLANDER]

More hassle than anything else...

...is what I think...

Maybe you could go to the post office & fill out a change of address form for her. I think that would solve the mail problem.

[Minnymouth]

Your sister is like many "ignore the problem, it'll go away"...... but in her case its not going too, and since she filed 3 years ago..... now she has no options but to pay them.................

She will end up in court, lawsuit after lawsuit, unless she gets the lead out of her A@@@, gets her head on straight, and starts dealing with the issues at hand....

She's family, but you can't solve her problems for her...... and financially probably can't help whole lot and shouldn't have too..........

I'm afraid that this time "the monkey on her back" will WIN........

And all you can do is sit and watch the outcome............

Hope that is not the outcome...........

[Annika]

Maybe you could go to the post office & fill out a change of address form for her. I think that would solve the mail problem.

Hubby made a special trip to the post office a few weeks after she told me she'd filled out the change-of-address form, to see why we were still getting her mail. The clerk said she'd check on it, but as of yet, we're still getting her stuff. Our post office and mail carrier are pretty lousy anyway, so I'm not surprised. I used to sell full-time on eBay, and instead of taking my packages to the post office that delivers our mail, I'd take them to another post office instead. The clerks were 1000% more helpful and friendly, and it seemed like the packages would arrive faster.

She's family, but you can't solve her problems for her...... and financially probably can't help whole lot and shouldn't have too..........

I've given up on trying to help her. She avoids the subject, saying that her credit cards are "no biggie". Yes, they ARE a "biggie", but she just doesn't see it. I've done all I know to do, and have accepted that I can't change how she is. I can't help financially even if I wanted to. Even if I could, I don't think bailing her out would solve anything.

Bankruptcy, for most people, is as bottom-of-the-barrel as one can go. I know it was for me. I NEVER want to go through that again. But apparently she saw her bankruptcy as a big eraser that wiped out all her bills, and now she "gets" to do it all again!

Thanks for the responses.

[anonymuse]

When we were having problems with mail not forwarding, we put a note inside the mailbox that said "Jane Doe no longer lives here--please forward". Made sure the dang carrier got the hint (I know it's not just the carrier making the mistake).