medical stuff

[tictacsir]

Last week my fiance's dad was diagnosed with diabetes and hypertension. Yesterday the doctor told him he has testicular cancer. He also has a lump in one of his breasts (that's been there for 6 years!) Why he didn't go to the doctor sooner, I don't know. I was just wondering, if you have any opinions or advice, medical or experiential, do you think the diagnosis of these other ailments along with his cancer might make the circumstances more severe? We're waiting on further test results as to whether there is cancer in other parts of his body and it'll be the longest week ever. But I'm worked up over the idea that it is the worst possible scenario that he's developing these other diseases because his cancer might be really far along. I'm not a negative person, just a worrier...

Thanks

[lrprn]

As a critical care RN, I can tell you that your future father-in-law's testicular cancer didn't cause his diabetes to develop. It's remotely possible that if his cancer has spread, it might have had something to do with his hypertension, but it's much more likely that it didn't. Also about why your fiance's dad didn't go to the doctor...medical research has shown over and over again that it's very typical for men to not go to the doctor or tell the doctor about serious symptoms. Denial is a very powerful emotional defense mechanism for all of us.

The best advice I have given to families in your situation is to do whatever helps everyone to wait the test results out. Worrying about what *might* be found won't change what is found one bit, so conserve your energy for when you know what your fiance's dad is really dealing with. You will all worry, of course - just keep talking to each other and find positive ways to deal with the negative emotions. One thing you can do is be there for your fiance and listen, listen, and listen some more. Serious illness in a parent is very difficult, especially if your wedding is happening fairly soon.

Google (search the internet) for Scott Hamilton's case - he's a world champion figure skater that waited a long time to go to the doctor and was finally diagnosed with testicular cancer that had spread. He's doing very well now - there's always hope. Hang in there - PM me any time if it would help to talk things over privately. We're here for you!

[13inOR]

Best wishes on your fiances dads outcome. I know this must be horribly stressful but lrprn gives some good advice above. Try not to get too worked up, medicine has come a long way and hopefully he will be just fine!


PS: I have the very same stapler on my desk at work that you show in your avatar. Sorry, I know that was off the subject.

[tictacsir]

thank you for the encouraging words. his dad has always been a providor and a protector and knows everyone thinks of him as a very strong man, which i'm sure is partly why he never went to the doctor, but also why the news is really eating at him. i think he'll struggle more with the idea that he is sick than he will with the idea that he may not overcome the disease itself. luckily my fiance and i are moving into a brand new apartment, which we're really excited about, and so with the move and my preparations to start my new job the week will be eventful and should pass quickly.

13-treat that stapler well. it'll be worth alot of money one day, in my personal opinion. ;)

[anonymuse]

If you're a reader, books like Scott Hamilton's, Lance Armstrong's, Michael J Fox's and Christopher Reeves are very inspirational.

Become knowledgeable on testicular cancer, but don't expect the worse. A lot of big words will be thrown around and they'll be less daunting.

We're all wishing you and your family the best.

[jane taylor]

As usual, I'm a little behind on reading posts, but I am sending prayers and good wishes your way. I've known at least a couple of guys who have beaten testicular cancer and this was years ago.

jane