Wedding updates and rants....

[tinroofrusted]

Ok.. we are now nine days down, and counting, but first... the drama continues....

1.) The head table is now an issue. The husbandtobe and I absolutely positively DON'T want children to be there. PERIOD. The futuremotherinlaw, is insisting, claiming it's "their special day too," and "their parents are up there, and I don't want to babysit." Well darn it, I don't want to babysit either. And these children have abhorrent table manners. I've never seen this done before, and I don't want to see if played out at my wedding. So now we are really fighting a war about this. And wouldn't the parents maybe like a break from their children? I mean there are 50 aunts and uncles that they could sit with for crying out loud!

2.) The chick at the local art museum, where everything is being held, is STILL driving me insane. I have told her HUNDREDS of times, to contact me during the day via email is best because I can respond. I can't answer my cell phone at work, but she STILL calls, STILL wont' return emails, and STILL won't listen to what I am telling her. I have already contacted her boss, and informed him that if my day doesn't go as planned, I will sue the museum for breach of contract. These people are driving me insane with their unwillingness to bend, and cooperate.

3.) We have had a few guests that have UN-RSVP'ed AFTER food and drinks are now paid for. HOW RUDE IS THIS?! Totally rude, totally uncalled for, and totally hurtful of them to do this. Especially one of the people I was counting on to help with setup that day. It hurts!

4.) People are claiming that they "lost" their reply card. Totally offensive and rude. We paid for a stamp so they could at least tell us no, and some people just threw it in the trash... don't people have any manners anymore?

5.) I have not been getting good sleep lately. The multi-generational welfare brats in the house behind me are playing their bump and grind music every night of the week, and the cops are less than willing to help. The last time they were there, I got into an altercation with one of the girls. I informed the cop, that unlike those people, I wasn't getting free money in the mail tomorrow, but that I had to go to work. Needless to say, that didn't go over well, and they are playing this crap, well into the wee mornings... it's driving me nuts.

On the other hand, the marriage license is applied for, the gifts are wrapped, my dress is boxed up and ready to go, and I have had my hair and makeup trial for the big day, and know how good that's all going to look.

And we are going on an awesome trip in 10 days to Florida to relax and get away from this mess!

In the meantime, wish me luck and send me prayers, so I don't kill anyone in the next week!

Love, TinRoofRusted

[miss puff]

Ok.. we are now nine days down, and counting, but first... the drama continues....

1.) The head table is now an issue. The husbandtobe and I absolutely positively DON'T want children to be there. PERIOD.

I have to agree with you Tin, no kids at the head table. Plus, within 10 minutes of sitting down they will be off running around on the dance floor anyways. Can you just make name cards and place them toward the front just not at the head table.

Sorry your so stressed right before your big day. It's amazing how much weddings cost and then people bow out at the last minute and lose reply cards, all of which you have already paid for. I feel your pain there.

I had to laugh about the altercation with your neighbors. I am not a big rap fan myself and our neighbor kids wear their pants to their knees and crank up Ludacris on a daily basis. Then they got some gangsta rap blaring and swearing and my 6 year old is outside and I get pissed.

Good luck on your big day. Hope the museum gets their act together.

[lrprn]

Absolutely agree with you, Tin - no children should be at the head table. I have never understood why anyone would want to bring a child under 12 to a wedding anyway. They get bored and bored children make for trouble. Best to find a sitter - I always did.

Hubby and I have been married over 25 years and I promise you that no matter what happens in 9 days, you and your new husband will treasure the memories and laugh together about the goofy things that happen! Enjoy the pre-wedding stuff as much as you can and try not to let the stress and need for everything to be perfect get to you. No matter how well you plan, double-check, and even triple-check, something WILL go wrong! So plan ahead for it mentally and just laugh when it happens. Chances are 99% that no one will notice or care. They will all be too busy wondering when the food will be ready!

[robivi3]

Florida? Relax? Must be Disney or Suwannee County or maybe the Keys.

One thing I can say for Sunrise, noise isn't tolerated day or night nor dogs without a leash. They just came and picked up a dog that has been ruling the neighborhood every day at 7,12,3,5,7. the cops waited, the owners let him out and are now dogless.

[pink_amulet]

Both my hubby and I , PLUS both of my boys (6yr and 10yrs) were in the wedding party (at my brother's wedding), and my boys didn't even sit at the head table.
My brother also stated NO kids (but mine, and my cousins, a total of four ages 6,8,9,10)......of course the day of the wedding there were about 13 kids there, all from the bride's side.....so of course they were so wild, and misbehaved, slamming doors, needless to say that is how my son broke his finger....UGH!!

As for neighbors UGH,,I know what you mean. It pisses me off that my hillbilly neighbor, collects food stamps, and money , plus they lie saying her husband doesn't live there. He is salary bringing in about $45k. So they get all the stuff for free,,,not to mention they put MOST of it up their noses!...How sick! They have custody of their two grandchildren cause the mom is in and out of jail more times than I can count, and she is knocked up again. She has so many STD's...eewww! Her youngest was born addicted to crack...the baby had to go through withdrawl....it makes me sick.!! I so want to call and report them. The house reeks of smoke, and the poor baby breathes that smoke in all day.

On the brighter side.......it is almost here.....after everything is said and done...you will look back and remember all of the fun things....not the headaches.

Good luck!!!

[robivi3]

We had the "pool family" a Dominican mother with five fatherless waifes ranging from 5 to 17, all of varied hairstyles and looking like a "United Colors of Benetton", none from the same father in other words. They were section 8'ers, thanks to the good work of old Henry Cisneros opuuting them into good housing by changing the Agencies Policies years ago.

Of course his liberal idea was to bring them up, in fact the opposite happened. Kids started hanging around at the house at night, from everywhere. The little angels put a local boy in the hospital. The tiny trash five year old could outcuss a drunken sailor. An Attorney was hired by the new board (they and a hurricane were the catalyst to get rid of the old one, some of those memberes are being sued now) but how did they go finally?

Well one day the property manager came by to talk to them about contacting the owners to fix the broken window, the mother let him in, her mistake, she thought he was a social worker. The home was destroyed, TOILETS INCLUDED. They were forced to move. The new owners are in deep for repairs that have been in progress for almost one year and there are liens filed for repairs the association made. Their foray into "The hell with my neighbors" cost them and it is wonderful to know that.

[Credit Hater]

Ah, I hate that for you Tin, especially about the noisy neighbors. I live in the middle of the city plus work 3rd shift. I started sleeping with ear plugs in and it really made a difference. As far as your wedding, ditto to what lrprn said. I know its probably hard to do, but try to not get stressed too much. You're very lucky. You have love and you have family and friends, ignore the ones who dont want to show up, smile and move on....whatever you do dont walk down that isle with a chip on your shoulder.....let it be water under the bridge, you'll enjoy it more

[SinkingFast]

Ah, Tin,............. The wedding is coming and before you know it, all this fuss will be just a memory!!

Not having much sleep certainly isn't helping. Maybe get some Tylenol PM and ear plugs at the drug store and try that a night or 2 before the wedding. So you're rested and refreshed for your big day.

Hopefully, you're moving to a new place either right before or after the wedding??!!

We worried about neighbors moving in here. Many college students. We haven't lived this close to other people in years. We've been out in the country for so long. For a while, we were sharing our Condo with a group of college guys. Amazingly, they were more quiet and friendlier than our new neighbors who are a family!!

[Minnymouth]

Awwwww, Yes, the planning is done, and everything is in the final stages...... and the Bride is coming apart at the seams......

Relax, take a deep breath, and let it all come together..... IT WILL BE OKAY.... and a day to remember!!!

Shame people don't know what RSVP means, (some actually don't) but that means good leftovers for someone.....

Right - NO KIDS at the table..... Put your foot down on this!!! Your wedding, your table!!! Make it perfectly clear its "not negoitable"!

Kids should have a table of their own to "gum up"....... and they sure can make a mess.....

Keep your cool, be firm about what you want and expect, and relax the day before your wedding to calm yourself down.......

Take the time to "reflect on your past - and decide what you want your future to be like in this marriage. If you have any "doubts" - now is the time to soul search and clear the problem up....

Everyone wants their wedding to be perfect...... only thing is THAT never happens usually.... Somebody forgets something, words are forgotten, people even pass out!!

Remember, only storybook weddings are perfect.....

Keep us posted.....

[krobin02]

I must agree with the majority here... NO KIDS AT THE TABLE!!! You've been going insane enough in the time leading up to your wedding that there is just no need to let the insanity slip into your first few hours of maritial bliss also! Good luck with everything and when you get back from Floridia, let us know how it actually all worked out!

[edwards2]

tin...some people have no class. It is unanimous...no kids at the head table...after all it is YOUR wedding. And again agree there is no perfect storybook wedding. Something will go wrong but it really doesnt matter...you guys getting married and starting a new life together is the most important thing. We girls all know how we want things to be perfect but they never are. Weddings seem to be more about the guests than the bride and groom. My first wedding I had all the pomp and circumstance and my parents spent a fortune on a wedding doomed for failure from the beginning but my second wedding - and present husband - was a much less formal affair and we had a lot more fun...didnt hurt the groom was a lot better. We catered the food, played our own music, didnt have to buy flowers because it was Christmas and the flowers had to stay on the altar(thank goodness), bought our own champagne, etc.....when it is all said and done you have your memories and your pictures...try not to stress too much and think as much about your new soulmate as you can. And congrats.....

[tinroofrusted]

I am so glad that other people feel the same way that I do about the kids thing... I dont' want to be a damned babysitter at my wedding! Not to mention (again!) the table manners... ICK. Everytime we eat with these kids, I have ended up with SOMETHING spilled, or dropped in my lap... that's another reason for me...

The neighbors are abhorrent. I just can't believe how rude people are. BTW-we own our house, so no such luck for a move! Since they are renters, I can only hope and pray that they overspend their welfare checks on junk and get evicted soon. They weren't at it last night, and I did see the cops patrolling when I pulled on the main street by the house, so I actually got to sleep last night. HURRAY!


And another good note. A long lost cousin that I haven't seen since I was a small child yesterday called (AND VERY POLITELY!!!) told me that he and his fiance would love to be there to support us, and would we have a couple of extra seats! How cool is that!? Those people that backed out have now made room for family that I am just tickled pink can now be there!

Just a few more days to go!

[Minnymouth]

Since you are the homeowner and the neighbors are rentors.............duh, they have a landlord...... enough complaints to the landlord just might do the trick..... especially if the law is called often enough to "quiet the neighbors down"......

Take care of that problem when you get back........ and it may even take care of itself....

Keep us posted.

[debtisbad]

This is your day, period, end of story. Your future MIL can get over it. She already had her day. I hate to sound cold, but I have a mil who would ruin my life if she could. Actually, she already is.

[Bobby'sGirl]

Just a thought

I was blessed with an angel for a MIL and she was mortified that the only univited guest at my wedding was HER great-aunt's tiny chihuahah who Aunt Ivy smuggled into the reception in her huge purse!! Too hot to banish the pup to a car, so we designated a couple of teenage cousins as dog walkers/sitters and slipped them each a $20 (lots of money to them 30+ years ago).

A firm no about the head table and GET HUBBIE-TO-BE to back you up!!! And tell MIL to designate a kiddie watcher brigade if the kids have to be at the wedding at all.

Also: are there still wedding etiquette books out there? Wave a page about who is at head table in front of her --- I'm sure even the flower girl and ring bearer can be accomodated at a different table, with kiddie favors and a coloring book if necessary....and just brought up front for some photos.