Anyone From Nj - Please Help

[suzyqpug]

I am going to file a bk 13 - . What should I expect?

[rrockinggramma]

I think that first you need to take a deep breath. Fear of the unknown is always stressful. Being in a chapter 13 is no picnic so to speak but it isn't like being in prison either. You will find a happy medium. If you spent a ton on christmas gifts, well now you will cut back. Instead of buying for everyone your immediate family will become the priority.

Prioritizing will be key while in a chapter 13. It is a LIFESTYLE adjustment. It has to be or you won't make it. You got into this situation with a certain lifestyle and now it has to change inorder to move forward again.

I have found a chapter 13 to be the best thing that ever happened to me. Sometimes lifestyle adjustments are just what the doctored ordered for a happy and healthy future.

[liz417]

Hi there Suzy,

I think you need to calm down...you will be fine.

A). If you are going to file ch 13, don't worry about your engagement and wedding rings. There are exemptions for those and remember to put the amount they are worth as if you were purchasing it from a pawn shop (go into one and see how much they'll give you).

B) I've read many, many posts and from what I gather, most ch 13 filers aren't on a 100% pay back!

C) What did your attorney tell you to do about the calls? With us, once we paid the retainer, she told me to direct all calls to the office. It's not a big deal, I bought a phone with caller ID when they called, I gave our attorney info. I also logged the day and time of each creditor call, some called over and over even though I gave them the attorney info (it was because we haven't filed yet and they wanted a case #).

I agree with rockinggramma, Chapter 13 is a LIFESTYLE change. It is important to get a good/experienced attorney that will write you a good ch 13 repayment program with some wiggle room in it for those "expenses" that will come.

Good Luck and try not to stress so much...everything will work itself out...

[AngelinaCatHub]

Suzieqpug: Happiness is a state of mind. You get to pick how you wish to feel everyday. The way I look at things is: There are two kinds of problems we worry about; the kind that you have power to correct, therefore, handle it. Then no problem. The second kind of problem we can worry about are; things we have no control over, therefore WHY worry? Time itself will take care of those problems. Worry does nothing but enhance a situation that at face value is not as serious as the worry makes it.

Read other peoples trouble and tribulations on this forum. You will see, there are worse situations than what you have and better situations than what you have. But to THEM, it is the worst time of their life. What is nice about this forum, is that you can see you are not alone in your troubles. Other people have made mistakes or bad decisions or things beyond their control. You aren’t the first and won’t be the last. You have a wonderful support group here. Use it for your own catharsis, and attempt to learn and help other people. That in itself will help YOU. Bankruptcy is a business decision. Do not take it personally. I do not hide this fact from anyone I know. It does not embarrass me to be bankrupt and I don’t have to lie about it. This is the way I handle my troubles. It works for me. ‘Hub

[liz417]

Bankruptcy is a business decision. Do not take it personally. I do not hide this fact from anyone I know. It does not embarrass me to be bankrupt and I don’t have to lie about it. This is the way I handle my troubles. It works for me. ‘Hub

I am embarrassed to say I had to declare bk...but I am try to work throught it, you are right, it is a business decision and that's the way I need to see it.

Thank you 'hub for your insight.

[AngelinaCatHub]

I am embarrassed to say I had to declare bk...but I am try to work throught it, you are right, it is a business decision and that's the way I need to see it.

Thank you 'hub for your insight.

[suzyqpug]

Thanks for all your comments. Atleast I am not alone....

[liz417]

Thanks for your words of comfort 'Hub,

Yes, I am working on forgiving myself...I'm learning that everyone (including me) makes mistakes from time to time. I guess I never really "saw" this as helping someone else, I am here at this forum for myselfm, but gosh, if I've *helped* anyone, that makes me happy. I think you are correct when you list the emotions that go with thinking/filing BK. I remember my 1st visit to my attorney's office, I was a blubbering idiot...but today (less than 2-1/2 months later), I've accepted it, I am now past the "anger stage" and ready to move on.

~Liz

[AngelinaCatHub]

That is terrific Liz. You know Cali right? Well she has helped us vary much. Yet when she had her 341, she too was a basket case. But, she got by. So go forth, what you have learned, you can teach because there sure are a bunch of us that need YOUR help. BTW were is Cali?