Possible filing 2 years from now & adoption

[CreatureShop]

My husband has very solid income with his first job and his second tanked in February. We've been living just fine off of our first job and savings. My husband will be getting a lot of overtime the end of this year that will carry us without the second job for about another year. We are in the middle of adopting a little girl and have had to use credit cards as the money we saved for the adoption ended up covering daily living expenses. But honestly we'd be in this spot regardless of the adoption.

The govt. (for now) gives a tax credit of about 12K for adoption after the adoption is final. We'd have about another 15K to pay off (on top of some loans from the house & my husband slowly spent about 4k in 3 years on a cc with things like a shirt or a pair of shoes or a trip to the zoo). I'm just concerned about the job thing. Eventually, we need more income coming in to stay at current living standards. Right now we're okay but obviously people aren't exactly hiring right now. My husband makes plenty of money, we just slightly overextended ourselves on home loans about 2 years ago. ~Sigh~! That is the major problem: the house is too much to live off of one income and I'm nervous that it will always be that way. We have choosen 10 years ago that our children will not be raised in day care so that is out of the question. The adoption agency says we are fine but I am just nervous and can't help but look ahead a few years.

If things don't change and we have to go bankrupt about 2 years from now...should I feel guilty about putting things on the credit cards? There is no way I can just forget the adoption. That is our daughter and no amount of money will ever compare to her. I am truly hoping we can get on top of everything but it just seems like we are slightly sliding down a hole. I feel that the govt. right now throwing billions at people is so not right when all I want to do is bring my daughter home. I'm not looking for worldy crud and materialistic things... I want to love my child and bring her home. I'm just venting that it's not fair that adoption costs so much and is a worthy wonderful thing and the govt. is just chucking money out the window. ERGH!

Side question: If it comes to it and we can't make bills, do we just use the money that we are no longer spending on bills to eat etc.? I just see that if we stop paying, we'll have a little bit here and there accumulating and I worry they'll take all of it. How does that work? We have no loans with our bank accounts (we have three). Also my husband's paycheck is automatically deposited and I don't think his work allows any different, will that be a problem?

My father always said bankruptcy was his worst nightmare and is worse than death...my husband's parents had to file twice and they seem just fine.... guess I just need to re-program my childhood right? haha In fact that was the second job... he worked for his dad and when the economy tanked... so did the second job. That's what is hard about this whole thing... finding a second job that works well with kids (since Grandparents allow a little more freedom). Thanks for listening... I guess I just needed to talk.

[Over our heads]

Ask yourself this.

If you KNEW you would be in this position would you have gone ahead with your adoption.

And I don't mean you maybe had an idea, or you had blinders on, but you KNEW KNEW KNEW you would be heading down the path to BK if you incurred adoption expenses, would you have done it, or would you have waited.

If you can honestly say I would have waited, then let it go. You can not change the decisions you have made, and if you have already accepted your referral and paid your contry fees, that money is gone regardless. I don't beleive any country will give a full fee refund if PaP's back out.

That being said, unless your SW/agency outright asks you about your financial status, do not offer up the information. I am NOT saying lie to the lady, just do not offer. I say this because if your adoption is not finalized in country (assuming international), your agency has to give consent to adopt. I can tell you my DH and I have lived on eggshells for the past 10 months waiting for our adoption to be finalized, and we just got smacked with the BK truth a month ago! We just finalized 2 weeks ago.

As far as working outside the home. Truly, unless you are educated with good job skills, getting a job that is actually worth it is hard to find. Meaning, after you pay for child care, gas to and fro, work clothes and such, are you actually making money. Money that will make a difference. There is however the option to work in the evenings, and let the babe stay with DH for a bit. We found that for us, and for our family, me being away that much was not beneficial. Above all, the needs of your family and your marriage come first.

Honestly, I would pay the minimums if possible on the card/s that you have used for adoption expenses for as long as you can. Save what ever is left for day to day expenses, lawyers, and whatever adoption expenses you still have.

BK may have been your father's worst nightmare. But I can tell you that both of my parents singley survived it. And since DH and I have made this decision, I am sleeping much better.

[CreatureShop]

We seriously believed our husband's father would start back up his business. In fact he is in the process of trying. We received our referral months ago and have already paid everything except travel. It is international and we still make the money that is required by our country, that country and our agency regardless. We had no idea this would come upon us and we would have waited until we had everything financially secure... we thought we had it secure. We still have a bit of a chance I think to clear things up. I mean, how many people can lose a significant amount of their income for 8 months and still be able to pay everything.

Our adoption is finalized in country and is actually completed before parents arrive. We are awaiting court papers as we speak. It depends on the orphanage whether or not you have to readopt which is not required in my state but I will do it anyways (we have a lawyer friend who is going to help).

But we did not know that this would happen. We fully intended to pay cash for everything until we were blind-sided by this. All my husband did was work his two days off for his dad and we're hoping this will pick up again. He's been doing some side-jobs for him now and then but not like before. I just am one of those prepare ahead kind of people and can see if things don't improve then there is a high possibility of things progressing to bankruptcy possibly 2 years from now. By then, our daughter will be home for almost 2 years and one year away from elementary school and I can begin work and this whole thing may be needless worry. I think the only reason I caught on to this possibility of bankruptcy was because everybody scrutinizes everything when you adopt.

I think as a mom you can understand needless worry haha. We worry about everything huh? By the way, sleep is sooo valued when you have kids. I'm glad that you're getting sleep! ;0) P.S. Congratulations on your little one.