Can I vent?

[GreenInkOnPaper]

DH is filing 7, we're in the final planning stage. Everything's going well, found whom I think is a good attorney, etc.

One problem.

In-laws.

His parents are making me NUTS~ asking way too personal questions, assigning blame, acting like they know EVERYTHING about BK, and they know NOTHING. DH decided to let the bank come get his non-running Focus, and his dad freaks. "NoNoNoNo!" he says. "They'll sue you!!!" he says. "I'll make the payments" he says. Yeah, lets blow $425 a month on a payment and insurance on a car that is being surrendered. But he won't listen to a word. Not even an attorney! ARG! He is driving me nuts!!! The BK is all he wants to talk about. It has caused tension and hard feelings between my Hubb and me. Just really sucks.

Ahhh. Thanks!

[Bandit]

yes you can vent, kick, scream, pull your hair out, bite, yell, b*tch, break something and whatnot...no one said this was going to be easy or not stressed out for everyone involved.

Eventually a calm, cool & collected effect does happen

[JRScott]

If the focus doesn't run why pay 425 a month for it. That seems to be the argument to use.

Yeah you can vent

I hope it all works out

[stephenm]

DON'T LET HIM PAY!!!!! That money might be counted as income on your means test/schedule k. I know he means well and he is right about being sued for the difference on what you owe on the car and what the car sales for at auction but that will be rolled into your bk.

P.s. I know what you going through only it was with my own father. We had to reach an agreement that we wouldn't talk about the bk. We only had a few phone calls that lead to hangups after that :-)

[Over our heads]

This would be the reason we aren't letting his parents know.
Tell him to shove it. Unless he wants to pay every last dime
of what you owe to everyone then back off.
In-laws are evil.

[GreenInkOnPaper]

Thanks for letting me rip. I just get so aggravated that everything I say is wrong, he knows better, it's all my fault, blah-blah-blah. We find an attorney that we really like, but no! His dad makes an appointment with someone HE wants DH to talk to.
He works for his parents.
We live in a house owned by his parents.
His dad went to the bank and pulled MY credit. DH and dad have the same name. I'm 44 years old and find constant interference irritating.
I'm seriously thinking of filing for divorce, and I don't take that sort of thing lightly.
Now, back to our regular programming.....

[AngelinaCat]

I really feel for you. Sounds like DIL is considering you the evil influence and DH doesn't have the guts to tell Dad to bug out. If possible, you might want to consider different living arrangements and employment. You need to be out from under the in-law's boots.

Good luck.

[GreenInkOnPaper]

I really feel for you. Sounds like DIL is considering you the evil influence and DH doesn't have the guts to tell Dad to bug out. If possible, you might want to consider different living arrangements and employment. You need to be out from under the in-law's boots.

Good luck.

You nailed it.

[Intoodeep80]

This is why you do not tell anybody your personal business.

I am not planning on telling any of my family, and only my partner and boss know about my chapt 7. I live around the block from my Father. Im surrendering my house, vehicle, and boat. So getting rid of the boat is going to raise some eyebrows because its my passion and I have a lot of boating friends. My plan is to say this if asked, and by the way asking anyways is generally pretty rude " I wanted some change in my life, so I sold my truck, boat, and am moving". Make out of it what you want, but going through bk is nobodys business but my own. My partner of 11 years - his family would be the LAST to find out....

[wonkettegirl]

Yeah, my parents would die of shame. I grew up hearing them tsk tsk over people who "cheat" and bankruptcy is definitely cheating, in their opinion. In mine, too, in many ways, and I am experiencing enough guilt as it is. To me, bankruptcy is kind of a public declaration that "I Suck." I have very gossipy siblings, though, and at least one of them had to know due to special circumstances, so I'm pretty sure my folks will eventually find out. It will hurt them, and I am sorry for that.

[Intoodeep80]

Yeah, my parents would die of shame. I grew up hearing them tsk tsk over people who "cheat" and bankruptcy is definitely cheating, in their opinion. In mine, too, in many ways, and I am experiencing enough guilt as it is. To me, bankruptcy is kind of a public declaration that "I Suck." I have very gossipy siblings, though, and at least one of them had to know due to special circumstances, so I'm pretty sure my folks will eventually find out. It will hurt them, and I am sorry for that.

Omg, LOL. I feel the same way!! Its caused me lots of anxiety and sleepless nights. My parents were the type to never have a credit card, very old school. Big savings, pay cash for everything. Im verry sorry I didnt follow in their footsteps and feel like crud.

I come here and find solace knowing that there is life after bk. I cannot wait until the day that Im debt-free. Its such a burden to carry.

[WoodSprite]

So getting rid of the boat is going to raise some eyebrows because its my passion and I have a lot of boating friends.

Oh, I hear that. We told everyone we sold our paid-off CRV because we needed to raise money for a septic system (which is actually what we did with most of the proceeds - besides paying our lawyer), and because the CRV was reminding us of the carjacking (which is what started us on this path). Not untrue, just not the whole story. I don't know what I'd say if we didn't have those handy explanations. NOT, as you say, that it's anyone's business.

Its caused me lots of anxiety and sleepless nights...My parents were the type to never have a credit card, very old school. Big savings, pay cash for everything. Im verry sorry I didnt follow in their footsteps and feel like crud.

I come here and find solace knowing that there is life after bk. I cannot wait until the day that Im debt-free. Its such a burden to carry.

Yep, me too. And lots of us. This forum has saved my sanity, and has really allowed me to get some perspective on the whole sorry episode. Some of us have been talking about this on the "Lifestyle adjustments" board (see "http://www.bkforum.com/showthread.ph...ferrerid=15486"), and I just love this thought:

This is the way I see it... for me to do anything but make the best possible use of this reset button would be immoral, and for me to do everything I can not to end up here again would be almost criminal!

Hang in there, Intoodeep...those hamsters will dance for you too!

[paintinrosesred]

I told our neighbor we were doing a foreclosure because she kept asking when we were putting the house on the market.... And she was going to find out anyway.. being a neighbor... now she doesn't speak with me.
So sometimes best not to tell anyone... not even family. We aren't telling family.

[DM20]

Paintinrosered - sorry you had such crappy neighbors! Our neighbors lost their house and I felt terrible for them and the kids too! You never know when you will find yourself in trouble.

[Help!]

Vent away! This is going to be a very stressful time for you and having in-law drama is going to add to the frustration. We were lucky in that we made a fresh start in a new state away from my husband's family in a place where we knew no one and no one new us. I don't think our marriage would have survived if we had to go through our BK with his family sticking their noses into the middle of it. It is so devastating and the last thing you need is more criticism. The key to surviving BK is to stay positive. Distance yourself from negativity.