don't know what to do

[pru]

Hello, this is my first post and although I have been reading as much as possible I am still not sure what to do. My story: Married with 2 children at home. I have been a stay a home mom for years always thinking once the kids got old enough I would go to work. Of course that was before I was diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis among other health issues. Now at the ripe old age of 52 I find myself with over 50,000 cc debt.. The thing is my husband doesn't know the true amount and thinks if I can arange soom sort of payment plan he can pay it down. He doesn't make enough to pay all our bills now!. Especially since last year he had to take off work due to kidney cancer. We got backed up. I used my cards to live on and pay Paul to pay Peter. I'm frightened beyond belief! I only have until 5pm today to contact one of the cc to discuss their offer, I can't accept their offer or anyone's offer! I'm in deep do do. I am so worried! I would go into BK in a minute except my husband has worked so hard to keep good credit and I don't want to ruin him. I just don't know what to do. We are in NY own our house and vehicle. Most of my husband's pay goes to paying down his cards and a few of mine that he knows of. I don't even know if this makes any sense. But please any advice would be helpful. thank you Pru

[SinkingFast]

Depending on how long you've not been paying your CC payments,......... That letter you got could be a standard form letter. You could possibly get the same letter next month from the same Creditor. Different dates, but the same letter none the less.

You can call them if you want. Tell them your sob story. Maybe you'll get a nice person. Maybe you'll get a butt. The result will be the same. They'll ask you for money and you'll tell them you can't pay.

Your CC's,........... Are they yours alone??!! Were they issued to you as the primary or are they joint accts??!! You may need to pull your Credit Reports to see how your accts are being reported.

http://www.annualcreditreport.com

You can pull a free copy of your Credit Reports from each of the 3 CRA's. Equifax, Experian, and TransUnion. Be sure and print those out. If you wind up moving for a BK, any attny you choose to hire is gonna want to see them.

If your accts are yours alone, you can file BK, by yourself, seperate from your Hubby, and his Credit may not even be affected.

[pru]

Thank you for responding Sinking, they are not joint accounts. all but one sears card that I stupidly added my husband as another card user. Pru

[lrprn]

Welcome to BK Forum, pru - glad you found us!

So sorry to hear about all your financial troubles. Is the $50K debt just yours? Is your husband a co-signer on any of your cc's? Do you own your house? How about cars? How old are your kids?

You are currently in the middle of one of the very hardest times - that's coming to grips with the reality that you are living well beyond your means. Now is the time to admit it and start to make the hard financial decisions together necessary to deal with it.

Ironically our situations are reversed - it was my husband who created our massive debt load in secret and could never bring himself to admit how deep we were in until we were so far under there was no saving it. We tried debt management with a CCCS company - total waste of time and money. In the end there really was no option for us but to file Ch 13. Getting there was hard, very hard. Lots of anger, lots of fights, lots of sadness. But in the end, 27 years of love and marriage won out and we now work together every day to keep our spending under tight control and ensure that even at our ages (55 and 61) that we will have a future together and can retire (although we may have more years of "would you like fries with that?" jobs to make ends meet! lol! )

Tell your husband the truth. He will find out eventually, and his pain and anger will be far greater if he finds out on his own because your financial house of cards will eventually collapse the way ours did. Don't wait - have that hard conversation now and then start to do what has to be done to begin your financial recovery. Depending on how much joint debt you have, you may even be able to file alone without your husband. Keep posting - we want to help whenever we can - that's why we're here! Again welcome!

[SinkingFast]

Thank you for responding Sinking, they are not joint accounts. all but one sears card that I stupidly added my husband as another card user. Pru

Adding Hubby as an Authorized User isn't the same as the accts being Joint. You can call and have his name taken off the accts at any time.

[tay666]

That is what I was thinking.
Depending on other things, you may be able to file on your own.
It wouldn't affect your husband's credit, and wouldn't put the house in danger either.

[pru]

Wow! I am overwhelmed with the replies and kindness.

I just couldn't bring the cc problems up with my husband's health. Its been a year since he had kidney cancer, his kidney was removed, everything turned out fine. But he has developed some new health issues, and I'm afraid to add to his stress. I myself am having more difficulty walking due to my RA.

I just wanted, or needed to tell someone, what I have been going throught for a year. When I think of it, This misery and stress has been going on much longer. I just ran out of credit.

There are 2 Chase cards I have not paid anything to in almost a year, and the rest I slowly stopped paying as the months went by.
I'm sure that Chase has sold my accounts, because now there arepeople calling my neighbor, and mother in law. They have been calling my cell on top of my home phone. I just don't answer.

I tried speaking to the cc reps. early on, explaining that increasing the interest would not allow me to kept up with the payments, but they didn't want to hear it, or cared. So I stopped answering my phone. I have an answering machine and I only take calls from people whose identify themselves.

Now with these new health issues between us, I will not have the money I did before, not to mention Bank of America cancelled the 2 cards I had been paying and using, due to my credit report.

It will be only a matter of time before everything caves in. I have been using the remaining card for everyday needs like groceries, cat food and medications. If I don't pay any cc I will be able to buy these things with money.
My husband and I have been married for 28 years. We have had very difficult times before. But this is the first time I am the cause of a big, big problem. At this point with the pain I'm in, I am ready to go to a lawyer. I want to make sure they can't hurt my husband. He has worked so hard to get out of debt. I just feel like crap.

Thank you dear friends. Love Pru

[pru]

I'm in NY and wondering

if anyone on the board is familiar or have used the services of Jacoby& Jacoby ? They have a great big ad in my local paper. In their ad they have a box that states they are a relief agency under federal law to consumers seeing relief under the bankruptcy code. They offer free consult. I'm nervous because a lawyer, law firm or official sounding man stopped calling. I think he is through with trying to get a hold of me, and is taking me to court. Thanks Pru

[SinkingFast]

The first step is realizing you have a problem. You've done that.

The next step is looking at ways to resolve your problem.

Chat with 3-4 BK attnys. Generally Consults are free. You'll get different perspectives on your situation, or a consensus about what you need to do. You'll get to "meet and greet" different people. Maybe find "THE" one you're comfortable working with.

BK attnys will be slanted toward BK. That's their business.

Contact a Credit Counselor. Get their take on what you might do. There may be possibilities for your particular situation you haven't thought of.

Don't get involved with a Debt Consolidation company that promises the moon and wants a lot of money up front.

You definitely wanna weigh all your options and make the choice that's right for you.

[pru]

Thank you so much Sinkingfast. I better take the hair dye out of my hair I hope it doesn't fall out. I have been having trouble facing the day or even taking a breath, with ease for a long time. Thank goodness for this board, Pru