Questions, questions. Scared, scared.

[Frogge]

I think I'm overthinking again! Somebody stop me!!

I've been at my mom's in FL for a few days - chilling, trying to think about something other than finances, etc... Gustav was helpful.. then he followed me home to KS. LOL

I KNOW I'm not the only one drowning in a sea of scenarios.....?? I sent another list of questions to the attorney today, I keep thinking it will be all I need to know and then I think of 10 more things. I've started writing them down and then sending collaborative emails. The assistant sent back one today saying "since you have so many questions, I've forwarded this one to the atty for his response"....

We have what our attorney calls a "unique" situation --with our residency going back and forth over a couple years. He has concerns about the timing. I'm worried about filing so soon (end of month), mostly because of current income - not charges. But we have to file soon-- so I must press forward. I am determined to climb this mountain, but terrified none the less. What if I screw this up? It's our future I'm dealing with. I want so much to get through this and have our LIVES back. I think I'm just worried that, after all we've been through the past couple years, I may not have it in me to fight this fight to the fullest.

Thanks for letting me vent. I am ready to get this over with.*pulls hair* Too many variables. Too much at stake.

[AngelinaCat]

Hi Frogge:

You sound like you could be me today. I've been in a purple *funk* all day because of this d***** Adversarial Proceeding we have to be bothered with. So I can certainly sympathize and figuratively *hold hands*. Everything will eventually work out fine.

[Frogge]

Thank you, AngelinaCat. Just holding hands means a LOT.

[AngelinaCatHub]

Dear Frogge: You have helped us and so many others. Yes I know, “surgeon, heal thyself”. However, you have been around here to know, you will prevail. Look at us for example, we did nothing right with a bum lawyer. Now except for the AP we are free. The AP in time will cure itself.

In time, you will too. File and explain. If you moved from several places the Court will go by your homestead state. Understand, we are pioneers so far in this economy as I’m afraid we will see many more. Time is on your side right now. Get in now before the crowd enters. GBWY ‘Hub

[rfassett]

Frogge (and all of the others that are driving themselves nutso worrying about these things), here is some very sound advice. Explore, in earnest, the worst case scenario. What is that for you? Bottom line - what is your true point of no return (and everybody's is different for every different situation). Now, do everything in your power to make certain that the worst case scenario doesn't happen. But if it does, you are mentally prepared for it. How do you make sure it doesn't happen? Educate yourself. I used to believe that "knowledge is power". I no longer believe that. Use of that knowledge is where the real power lies. So get busy. And when you have done these things, then let it rest knowing that you have done all that you could and then get on with the other important things in life - because sure as I am sitting here, I will venture a guess that there are other aspects of your life being ignored while you are spending so much energy playing head games with yourself over this. This is a great, great forum, as you know, and the collective knowledge contained herein far and away is superior to anything else out there, probably even your lawyer. So post your questions here and you will get quicker responses and will end up with a better working relationship with your attorney.

[Flamingo]

Stop! You have to quit worrying. If its piliing debt you're worried about you need to find out great quick-fix methods that can improve your credit ratings. I used to have the same kind of feeling until I found this great site (URL Deleted) where I found ways to handle my finances better and still have enought to go by.

Uh Oh, looks like we have another credit repair/debt management place paying/sending folks to post in here (and also other forums) tauting how wonderful their company can make your life...all of this lady's postings taut her recommended site.

[WoodSprite]

I think I'm overthinking again! Somebody stop me!! ...Too many variables. Too much at stake.

Oh, poor Frogge! Even when you know it's the only solution, it's the right thing to do, AND you're completely prepared, taking the actual leap and DOING it is so terrifying. And being pushed into taking that leap so much earlier than you thought you'd have to has got to be a thousand times worse.

But I just went back a read a few of your posts over the last month or so, and it really does look as if you're in good hands. Your attorney is a trustee and sounds as if he's looking out for you. I had missed the significance of JRScott's and Liz417's reminders that in the unlikely event of an objection, the objections will be to individual charges, so if you do need to pay back that vacation, say, it's not the end of the world.

(And shoot...700 bucks for a vacation for a family of five? They should give you a medal! The Royal Order of Penny-Pinchers' Medal for Exceptional Parsimoniousness or something.)

I had a lot of trouble remembering that what seems like a lot of money to me seems like a pittance to many others, and that the trustee is probably looking for higher rollers and folks who really are trying to work the system. Sure we've read a few horror stories here (the only downside to this forum...sometimes too much information is as bad as too little!).

But I'll bet if you tallied up the 341 reports for the last year, you'd get a whole lot more "5 minutes...so glad it's over...welcome- to- the- 60-day - club" posts than the "oh- my- gosh- they- grilled- me- for- an- hour-, the- UST- and- sixteen- angry- creditors- showed- up-, they- pushed- me- into- a- 13- AND- I- got- a- parking- ticket".

Here's where an attorney who is also trustee is a huge asset. He knows the pool of possible trustees, and he knows what's likely to raise a flag with them. Pelt him with questions - you're certainly paying for the privilege - but try to remember that if you trust this guy and you know you're being honest, you're probably going to be fine.

And most importantly, give yourself credit for how far you've come in your relationship with DH. Now that you're on an open and honest footing TOGETHER, you guys are going to come through this trial by fire so much stronger, grateful for (and deserving of) the fresh start, and ready to move on. Think of it: by Thanksgiving, you'll be in the 60-day club! Just imagine...you could conceivably be discharged by New Year's Day! Next year this time, rather than obsessing over the same scary details and worrying about some stranger scrutinizing every last expenditure, you'll be free and clear, you'll have a few bucks in the bank, and you'll be so happy you were pushed into doing this before you were ready.

...WoodSprite the Oracle has spoken...

[WoodSprite]

go away, spam troll

Stop! You have to quit worrying. If its piliing debt you're worried about you need to find out great quick-fix methods that can improve your credit ratings. I used to have the same kind of feeling until I found this great site (URL Deleted) where I found ways to handle my finances better and still have enought to go by.

Uh Oh, looks like we have another credit repair/debt management place paying/sending folks to post in here (and also other forums) tauting how wonderful their company can make your life...all of this lady's postings taut her recommended site.

Flamingo's right as usual...this "Mimee" character has four postings, ALL of which claim she's "stumbled across" this great site. Go away, Mimee.

[Frogge]

Oh, poor Frogge! Even when you know it's the only solution, it's the right thing to do, AND you're completely prepared, taking the actual leap and DOING it is so terrifying. And being pushed into taking that leap so much earlier than you thought you'd have to has got to be a thousand times worse.

But I just went back a read a few of your posts over the last month or so, and it really does look as if you're in good hands. Your attorney is a trustee and sounds as if he's looking out for you. I had missed the significance of JRScott's and Liz417's reminders that in the unlikely event of an objection, the objections will be to individual charges, so if you do need to pay back that vacation, say, it's not the end of the world.

(And shoot...700 bucks for a vacation for a family of five? They should give you a medal! The Royal Order of Penny-Pinchers' Medal for Exceptional Parsimoniousness or something.)

I had a lot of trouble remembering that what seems like a lot of money to me seems like a pittance to many others, and that the trustee is probably looking for higher rollers and folks who really are trying to work the system. Sure we've read a few horror stories here (the only downside to this forum...sometimes too much information is as bad as too little!).

But I'll bet if you tallied up the 341 reports for the last year, you'd get a whole lot more "5 minutes...so glad it's over...welcome- to- the- 60-day - club" posts than the "oh- my- gosh- they- grilled- me- for- an- hour-, the- UST- and- sixteen- angry- creditors- showed- up-, they- pushed- me- into- a- 13- AND- I- got- a- parking- ticket".

Here's where an attorney who is also trustee is a huge asset. He knows the pool of possible trustees, and he knows what's likely to raise a flag with them. Pelt him with questions - you're certainly paying for the privilege - but try to remember that if you trust this guy and you know you're being honest, you're probably going to be fine.

And most importantly, give yourself credit for how far you've come in your relationship with DH. Now that you're on an open and honest footing TOGETHER, you guys are going to come through this trial by fire so much stronger, grateful for (and deserving of) the fresh start, and ready to move on. Think of it: by Thanksgiving, you'll be in the 60-day club! Just imagine...you could conceivably be discharged by New Year's Day! Next year this time, rather than obsessing over the same scary details and worrying about some stranger scrutinizing every last expenditure, you'll be free and clear, you'll have a few bucks in the bank, and you'll be so happy you were pushed into doing this before you were ready.

...WoodSprite the Oracle has spoken...

Thank you, Woodsprite (the Oracle). This is very encouraging. I DO feel very proud about clearing the air with DH --- that was a BIG part of my stress, and subsequently our arguments. We are tackling this together, mostly - and I don't have the fear of a 'secret' causing tension.

And yes, I'm spending WAY too much time on this lately, that's for sure - but I feel like it's necessary so that I don't overlook something important that could prevent us from being discharged. I feel like having a fresh start for all the mistakes and hardships would be much like, to me, winning the lottery. I can't tell you how much it would mean to not have to worry and shuffle and scrounge to make ends meet .. it's become an obsession to make it happen after all this. Thank you for your encouraging words!