Wedding updates and need advice!

[tinroofrusted]

I had my bridal shower on Saturday, and we just got so much stuff... I couldn't believe it.

We are mailing invitations out TOMORROW.

Last night I had this horrible nightmare that I didn't want to get married, wanted to run away from home, and kept thinking "the invitiations aren't even mailed yet, so it would be ok...." Luckily I woke up, and it was all a dream, but man, as the date gets closer my dreams get weirder.

Right now, we still need to pay for flowers ($500.00) and for the rest of the deposit ($740.00) and money is TIGHT.

I am working two jobs, finance is working one, and I am getting worried. I don't want to put this on credit cards, but we really are in need of the money SOON!

Any suggestions?

[AMISLANDER]

Cut back in food!

if you're both working it up...make sure you bring lunch & keep grocery bill down with salads & tuna & peanut butter?

[Minnymouth]

Start cutting those corners now, or you'll start out deep in debt just for the wedding............ you don't want to start out that way.....

Everybody wants a "fantastic and beautiful" wedding.... but be realistic on what its going to cost.....

$500.00 for flowers.....???? Is this really necessary???

Can you go a simpler cake????

There's places you can cut corners, but I know you really don't want too, but it may be necessary at this time......

You don't want to start out your new life together in "debt up to your eyeballs", which could turn into "tension" between you and your new love....

Remember most marriages break up over money issues than anything else and you sure don't want to start out that way................

Set you a budget, stay within it..... you won't be sorry.............

[Minnymouth]

Everyone has 2nd thoughts about getting married especially if marriage to them is a "lifetime commitment"........ and especially if they have ever been married before........... That gives them something else to thing about and the outcome it had......

So that's pretty normal.................

Reationships in life are a gamble.... we take our chances and hope our hearts don't over-ride our good judgment when we make life-changing decisions.......

[tinroofrusted]

Start cutting those corners now, or you'll start out deep in debt just for the wedding............ you don't want to start out that way.....

Everybody wants a "fantastic and beautiful" wedding.... but be realistic on what its going to cost.....

$500.00 for flowers.....???? Is this really necessary???

Can you go a simpler cake????

There's places you can cut corners, but I know you really don't want too, but it may be necessary at this time......

You don't want to start out your new life together in "debt up to your eyeballs", which could turn into "tension" between you and your new love....

Remember most marriages break up over money issues than anything else and you sure don't want to start out that way................

Set you a budget, stay within it..... you won't be sorry.............

$500 is the LOWEST we could find anywhere in our area for flowers. My FI wants real, so that's what we have to go with.

The cake is only $250 and is paid for.

The $740 is the remainder of our deposit on our hall.

Trust me, we have completely cut everything. No new NOTHING for either of us, until after the wedding, and we are eating Ramen noodles and cheap pasta until it is coming out of our ears.........

it SUCKS.

I hate busting my behind for a wedding that I didn't want in the first place to impress and feed a bunch of people that I don't know.

I wanted to go to Vegas....................

[Minnymouth]

Why do you have to rent a hall at $750.00??? To impress his family????

Draw the line somewhere...

A wedding in the park can be just as beautiful.............

Have you and your spouse discussed this, if I remember correctly you all have....... and it's his parents that are "putting on the dog"...........CORRECT???

[Minnymouth]

Remember when you say those vows you are married whether you marry in a church, fancy hall, park, or in front of justice of peace at the courthouse.....

None makes you more married than the other....

And yes wedding days are "special" and so you want to make them special!!!!

But also you have to be "realistic".

What good is a big fancy wedding if you can't afford a couch to sit on after the ceremony...... or a simple motel for the nite after all the champagne is drank.....

Your day will be "special" no matter how its done..... because you are in love and making a commitment to a lifetime partner....... THAT'S WHAT'S IMPORTANT.....

My thoughts,

[AMISLANDER]

$500 is the LOWEST we could find anywhere in our area for flowers. My FI wants real, so that's what we have to go with.

The cake is only $250 and is paid for.

The $740 is the remainder of our deposit on our hall.

Trust me, we have completely cut everything. No new NOTHING for either of us, until after the wedding, and we are eating Ramen noodles and cheap pasta until it is coming out of our ears.........

it SUCKS.

I hate busting my behind for a wedding that I didn't want in the first place to impress and feed a bunch of people that I don't know.

I wanted to go to Vegas....................

WOW...on the flowers...what are you getting? How many people & what are you feeding them? Cash bar or are you covering? Where are you at again?

Weddings will get ya....I got married back in West Virginia/Morgantown...with about 50 people back in 1989...we put the whole thing together in 3 months...weren't extravagant...I think the most expensive thing was the photos...probably $900 but I have all the proofs, negatives, etc.....I can only imagine what the cost do to a wedding is now....I had my bridesmaids dresses made ($250 ea....3 bridesmaids) my dress was $500....we had it in the old glass factory which was a historic site...god I think our cake was $250 back then...white chocolate frosting in shape of a heart...man was it good...we had chicken & shrimp, roast beef & a fish to choose from...I went with single roses on table & my bouquet was red roses...I think it was around $5K which was even cheap then?

If I ever did it again,....Vegas or Cozumel....elope...all the way

[jane taylor]

If your in-laws to be want to impress everyone, then why are they not paying? I don't mean to be nosey and I know how hard it is to stand up to families, but letting them know that you don't want to start out in debt might help. I don't know.

Your dreams are completely normal!!! They get weird because even something as wonderful as a wedding is stressful.

Wishing you a lifetime of happiness and blessings!!!!

jane

[AMISLANDER]

Got divorced in...

2000... but still have the albums...framed picture (I guess I'm saving it for my sons?).....was a beautiful wedding if I do say so myself...

Best Wishes & stay calm! Bananas are better for you than the noodles! Eat more bananas! And they're cheap w/good source of potassium!

[tinroofrusted]

We have rented the local art museum here in Grand Rapids, Michigan.

Everything is already set and mostly paid for (food, drinks, wedding planning) so we HAVE to go with this.

This is for my FI mostly, but his parents are out to impress the world. They are paying for the drinks, the food, and for the entertainment, which are the most expensive things.

SHould I ask my FI to get a part time job? Would that be rude?

[AMISLANDER]

hmmmm....

We have rented the local art museum here in Grand Rapids, Michigan.

Everything is already set and mostly paid for (food, drinks, wedding planning) so we HAVE to go with this.

This is for my FI mostly, but his parents are out to impress the world. They are paying for the drinks, the food, and for the entertainment, which are the most expensive things.

SHould I ask my FI to get a part time job? Would that be rude?

does he have time? I don't know it it's really rude considering the situation...my boyfriend finally got re-employed & is landscaping for a condo development, close to home...$10/hr...and he paints on the side which is what he was doing prior to goofing off...but I get him side jobs doing cleaning at the development where I work...and it sure helps...

[tinroofrusted]

He has more than enough time... trust me. He "works" from home most days, and if he does go into the office, it's NEVER for a full day. In fact, he's not worked a full day in the 2.5 years we've been together. He NEVER works weekends, and in fact, often takes Fridays through Tuesday off... It's really a bone of contention for me, but he still brings home a paycheck, so I try not to say too much.

[Minnymouth]

Yep, those men that work at home or out of the home or only when the sunshines.... can really hit a raw nerve on us.............

Its' like "we're the only ones really working"..... but we're not.......

Its like a suit and tie guy that won't mow the yard, cause he'll get his hands dirty......

Love them and accept it, or find another man......

But when their "work" can't bring home a paycheck, its time to find a 'JOB'....

My thoughts,

[anonymuse]

Tin, I know it's hard to think this way (in all areas of life), but "will it really matter in 10-years?" I try to force myself to take that perspective when things get too stressful and seem out of control, but this might be a situation when you want to ask yourself that question when you're thinking about "Do I really need this or that at my wedding?"