Help...my inlaws are a mess...

[tobee43]

so no more 99 weeks? i guess that was a while back. oh! back taxes .

it may be time for them to consult a few attys. maybe with the 50kl left on the house, they still be able to keep the house but your right, give back the truck. hopefully he will find something in the next year or retrain himself for a new job.

[Pjmax]

Diesel, NJ Div. of Tax. never garnished me for back taxes. I don't know if it ever happens, just my experience. I collected unemployment off and on from 2009 through 2012. Owed back taxes from 2003, and they kept any refunds when I filed current tax returns, but that was it. I would suggest that FIL make sure that Fed. Taxes are withheld from unemployment, so there won't be a shortfall on Fed. 1040's. I believe they will deduct 10%, if one checks off the box requesting withholding.

I also think your in-laws could use an appointment with a good accountant/financial planner. Even if they do end up filing BK, they obviously need to re-adjust their spending and face the reality of how to survive on a budget.

NJ Unemployment does have funds for re-education, which can pay for community college classes, however, just be prepared; those taking "free" classes usually have to register on the last day, and there isn't much left, so the class or classes FIL needs may not be available.

It's going to be tough finding work over age 55, and even tougher finding anything more than $10/hr. There are some difficult psychological issues involved here. Learning to adjust to a low-wage retail job can do a number on your head, after years of being successful in one's chosen field. Hopefully, he'll go for Home Depot or Lowe's, but understand, it will be very hard on FIL initially. I am again speaking from my experience. I'm 64, always had jobs I loved and was very good at. Those jobs now go to unpaid or low-paid interns, that's the current trend in my former field. After 5 yrs. of hard times, I'm still adjusting to being poor.

[Diesel73L]

Diesel, NJ Div. of Tax. never garnished me for back taxes. I don't know if it ever happens, just my experience. I collected unemployment off and on from 2009 through 2012. Owed back taxes from 2003, and they kept any refunds when I filed current tax returns, but that was it. I would suggest that FIL make sure that Fed. Taxes are withheld from unemployment, so there won't be a shortfall on Fed. 1040's. I believe they will deduct 10%, if one checks off the box requesting withholding.

I also think your in-laws could use an appointment with a good accountant/financial planner. Even if they do end up filing BK, they obviously need to re-adjust their spending and face the reality of how to survive on a budget.

NJ Unemployment does have funds for re-education, which can pay for community college classes, however, just be prepared; those taking "free" classes usually have to register on the last day, and there isn't much left, so the class or classes FIL needs may not be available.

It's going to be tough finding work over age 55, and even tougher finding anything more than $10/hr. There are some difficult psychological issues involved here. Learning to adjust to a low-wage retail job can do a number on your head, after years of being successful in one's chosen field. Hopefully, he'll go for Home Depot or Lowe's, but understand, it will be very hard on FIL initially. I am again speaking from my experience. I'm 64, always had jobs I loved and was very good at. Those jobs now go to unpaid or low-paid interns, that's the current trend in my former field. After 5 yrs. of hard times, I'm still adjusting to being poor.

Thanks Pjmax, that is helpful to know. However, this looks like it might be over before it even started. My wife had a long conversation with her parents last night and they are stonewalling. My MIL kept emphasizing that "they've been here before" and that it's "no big deal, he'll find a job," etc... The difference was that was the late 1980s when my FIL was 32 and NJ was on the cusp of a building boom. Though it looks like he is going to get the full $650 per week from UI, it amounts to literally half of his weekly salary. Now they have a truck payment of $400 per month (plus at least $200+ per month insurance because full coverage is required) so there goes one whole check per month. They are going to fall behind very fast between the credit card payments, mortgage, and regular monthly bills. My guess is they'll do something stupid like liquidate my MIL's 401K which will keep them afloat a bit longer, but even if they do that I'm betting that they lose the house in two years and that the cars will have been repossessed long before that. At that point I don't know what we'll do. We have a two bedroom one bath ranch and a two year old so there's no room here. My SIL and her husband have a two bedroom condo, and my BIL is in law school.

This is frustrating as all hell because essentially they're about to get hit by a freight train and all they really need to do to avoid it is step off the damn tracks. It seems like it's denial more than anything-as I said before, their heads have been planted firmly in the sand for a long time. I told my wife to prepare for it to get bad-seeing her childhood home put up for Sheriff's sale is not going to be fun. Not to mention they are literally going to be homeless...neither of them have family that can help or take them in-we are all they have. As someone who filed for BK himself, I can't really be mad at them for getting themselves into this mess, but I'm furious with them for refusing to help themselves...

[Pjmax]

Diesel, you can only do so much. They will quickly find out that it is a 'big deal,' and it's not the 80's anymore; hopefully, before too much damage is done.

Please keep us posted.

[df04527]

Aww too bad Diesel. They, obviously, don't realize how fortunate they are they have someone like you guys to help them unwind the mess they got themselves into. It will be painful to watch though but you have to wait until they "hit bottom"' so to speak, before they will put their listening ears on.

Time will tell. Good luck friend.

[Drazil65]

Well, you have done all you can for now. Don't forget that you have to take care of your household first and foremost and you guys are still on the path to recovery financially. They are adults and will have to get out of the mess on their own just like you guys had to. Big decisions will have to be made and lifestyles will have to be adjusted but until they can see the problem and take responsibility for their part in it then I am afraid they will do what they want. They will figure it out and when they do be there to listen while they vent and offer advice where you can. It is what it is.

Your FIL is lucky he is in NJ to be able to get $650 a week in unemployment benefits. The laws just changed here in NC this past July 1st and now the maximum you can collect is $350 and they lowered the number of weeks from 1 year to 20 weeks. Nice huh!!!!

[AngelinaCat]

Our maximum in Florida is $275.00 a week, no matter what you formerly brought home. That figure has not changed in the last eight years or so--if ever.

Diesel, I feel for you, but until they get run over by the train, they aren't going to pay attention--especially MIL. She's the one with the blinders on.

[pamkev]

Diesel,
I can't add anymore to what others had said. They will look back and say wish we would have listened to you.