Ok...so if we separate before confirmation????

[julsmom]

I just cannot believe my life lately...we made it thru 341 meeting last week, easy as pie...things moving along...waiting on date for lien strip and confirmation is set for early Sept. Now my husband has chosen to lose his mind; we have had problems in the past, kept telling myself things would get better after the BK and that would at least be one less stress; but this is not better. Last night i get home to him barking at me that this is now HIS house, he makes the rules (after yet another argument over his adult daughter that causes all sorts of problems who is now homeless again & wants to come back into our home) I have stood my ground & that she can NOT come back, she is an adult & needs to figure this out & as long as MY name is also on the deed, he can't just move her in. So...where will I stand with my BK? I am tempted to call the atty & see if we can just regroup all the #s and split this before the stinking confirmation & be over this. I am not sure it is worth fighting for any more; as broken hearted as i am, i am just over it. Can we even do this being this far in? Or is it like i think, maybe the perfect time to make this change...or do I wait it out; get the lien strip & then we sell the stupid house & split? I am so tired of stressing over all this & telling myself it is going to be ok, when obviously it is not.

We have both refused to leave the marital home; I refuse to take kids & walk away (as I am worried he would file for abandonment & he will do anything & everything to make this nasty for me) and I have told him to go now...several times; he refuses. He left for one night, paid a hotel bill; and came back. This was several months back. I have half a mind to put his stuff on the porch & change the locks, but that's not legal either.

I have a bigger issue to the 19 yo daughter who does drugs, drinks (while she is on antidepressants mind you that we are paying for) and self mutilates. She needs her own help but I can no longer help someone who is unwilling to help herself & cannot allow her in the home with my children who need protecting.

I realize that this is his child and I understand he is in a difficult spot but she is now without a place to stay; food; job because of her own actions. Again. This is the 5th move since mid-April when she left us.

Any advice or any other remotely similar situations would be most helpful. I just do not know what to do. I am worried my BK lawyer is going to quit when I call to tell him this!

[1aliasfan]

I need help with a similar question:

I am in Month 13 of a Chapter 13. Divorce is imminent. I am waiting for him to get off workman's comp payments and to a new jobI filed a prior Chap 7 in 2003 and discharged in 2004. If we divorce and I qualify, can I convert my portion of the BK to a Chapter 7 in 2011, if I qualify? or would I be better off requesting a split of the Chapter 13?

[momofthree]

Not sure on how this would be handled, just want to comment on your comment:

....get the lien strip & then we sell the stupid house & split?

I just wanted to make sure that you realize that the lien strip is not effective until you complete your ch.13. Since you just had your 341, that means you still have 3-5 years left on your plan. Something to think about...

[julsmom]

good point thanks

Hadn't even thought about lien strip not being complete unless we complete the plan in 5 years, my mind is in a million places.

Don't think we would convert to CH 7 but I guess that could even be an alternate route, not sure if this doesn't work, i would even want to stay in this house anyhow, other than to keep things as smooth as possible for my children.

[julsmom]

and to mom of three...

tried to post back, i feel for your situation too, good luck. Not sure that I qualify or not, but it still really stinks to find ourselves in this situation huh?

[SMinGA]

You cannot convert your current case from 13 to 7. You would be able to dismiss your case, and file a ch. 7 once your 8 years passed, in 2011.

I filed a prior Chap 7 in 2003 and discharged in 2004. If we divorce and I qualify, can I convert my portion of the BK to a Chapter 7 in 2011, if I qualify? or would I be better off requesting a split of the Chapter 13?

Julsmom, my atty actually asked at my first consultation about our marriage... I thought it an odd question, he said its best for separation/divorce to happen BEFORE filing. He actually would not move forward with filing a case if the couple said they expected to split. I know you can't do it that way now... I believe his reasoning was that the financial questions need to be settled. Who gets/pays alimony/child support, what each of you would have for housing/utilities/etc. And each would need a separate plan. One might even be able to do ch. 7 depending on the circumstances. You may be able to split your current case, but you would probably need to iron out individual budgets first. Afterall, it would be impossible for you to each know your future DMI. And if your spouse is going to be difficult, it may time time and attys to work out who is paying what.