top Ad Widget

Collapse

Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Researching For My Parents

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

    Researching For My Parents

    My mother called me last night and asked if I could come over, I could tell something was wrong. She was at home trying to figure out her and my dad's taxes. He works out of town remodeling stores like Mervyn's and such, so he was not home.
    A little history first, bare with me please. My dad was out of steady work for about 10 years due to a back injury and my mom basically supported him and herself with what she made as a waitress. A blessing finally came and my father landed a job as a Project Supervisor for this remodeling construction company, so to speak, where he's not required to do any heavy lifting. Anyways, all seemed well, until last night. My mother found that my dad had hidden the fact that while they were going thru the tough years he'd apparently accumalated some credit debt trying keep the fire burning. She knew he had to some extent, but last night she realized it's over $30,000 worth. Along with that came the realization that at 60+ years, her dreams of retirement just went down the drain, because when we figured what they make and what the bills amount to, they're going backwards. We all know there's no way to pay off credit cards that large unless you dump mass money into them; mass money they don't have, nor do I, otherwise, after seeing her in tears (which was heartbreaking to say the least), I would pay off every penny had I not sold my house a year too early or had any other means to.
    It's apparent that my father makes enough to pay the bills but not enough to sustain everything else that comes up so he credit cards it, and has been for some time now. I know my dad, and he thinks he a survivalist and I'm sure figures he's doing what he has to do, although I haven't spoken to him about it yet. This leads to my question.
    My parents are facing an impending doom, it's become very clear. My first impression of the Chapter 13 deal wasn't that bad. I used a calculator provided from some bankruptcy website to estimate what the payments would be if my parents filed and the results were very attractive. My dad I figure is paying out over $1000 a month in just credit card payments. That along with his truck, according to the calculator, could be reduced to $420 for 5 years, and done deal, back in business. But from what I'm reading here in these posts, it sounds terrifying. Sounds like there's much much much more to this and the 420 figure I got would probably not be close. Would suggesting my parents file Chapter 13 be a mistake?

    Thanks in advance for any info and/or advice anyone can provide.

    God Bless,

    #2
    Is their income above or below the median for their state? Do they own a home and if so, how much equity do they have and what does your state allow as an exemption?
    Never ever do a 13 if you qualify for a 7. The goal of a bk is the total and complete destruction of all creditors to the maximum extend possible. Bk is a business decision. Don't cloud it with emotion.
    Post some more info and we may be able to help.

    Comment


      #3
      They are under the median for California.
      As for the home, it's a mobile on 2.5 acres and because of the location and the way the housing market quadrupled in the last 3 years, they actually have decent amount of equity, but the market is starting to recede even as I type this.
      Let's say they have, I'm estimating, 120,000 in equity. They've lived there 26 years, and already have a second out on it.
      Could they sell? Perhaps, but then where to go? Buy a cheaper run down place with what money's left? Again, perhaps, but the market is falling. If they did do that, whatever they bought would be overpriced in another year I'm told and would be a dump around here for that money.
      It's a really screwed up situation. I've really been thinking hard about this. There are some alternatives and I realize that there are a lot of people a lot worse off and some sacrifices can be made (which is about the only thing I could console my mom with to keep her spirits up), but I'm just trying to find out if there's anyway to get them back to square one without losing the house, and my dad has to keep his vehicle for work (he often has to driver 2 hours to work and rent a hotel for the week); losing the vehicle is not an option, and losing the house, jeez I don't even want to think about that one.

      Comment


        #4
        Here are the exemptions for Ca,



        Looks like they have too much equity to file a 7 unless, they're 65.

        Comment


          #5
          Check out this link:

          http://www.usdoj.gov/ust/

          You can access the Means Test and all the other info you need for that part at the DOJ.

          The equity in their home may be an issue. But Trustees cut deals all the time.

          Trustees will go after cars in a heart beat. Easy and quick to sell. Not much costs to sell either.

          Houses are a different story. They may have to pay a Realtor their standard commission. Have the property on hand for a bit. Associated costs added to the REA commission to sell a house can easily cost the Trustee 10%, maybe more.

          But, if your parents have that much equity, why not look into refinancing all their debt on the house??

          They could consolidate their first, their second, and the CC debt all rolled into one and still have significant equity left. May even make their total house payments lower than they currently pay for the 2 notes.
          Filed Ch 7 - 09/06
          Discharged - 12/2006
          Officially Declared No Asset - 03/2007
          Closed - 04/2007

          I am not an attorney. My comments are based on personal experience and research. Always consult an attorney in your area to address concerns related to your particular situation.

          Another good thing about being poor is that when you are seventy your children will not have declared you legally insane in order to gain control of your estate. - Woody Allen...

          Comment


            #6
            Yes, I believe refinancing and getting everything rolled up into one is probably the only logical answer at this point. Maybe one day with some serious planning, I can figure out a way to afford their house payment to allow them to retire. I wish there was a way I could call all the credit agencies and have my dad put on some kind of "Restriction" so he can't access any more credit. Dang it, sad, sad, sad. LOL
            I can only imagine what it's like for many other people out there today with even more serious situations with no where to turn. Brutal...

            Thanks people for your help, this is a cool site.

            Take care,

            Comment


              #7
              Josie - first and foremost I totally respect you for looking after your parents. A lot of sons and daughters could care less and that is despicable. Just wondering how your dad kept the credit card bills from your Mom all this time...my husband does not participate in financial issues despite the fact I badger and nag him all the time about it. He will do anything you ask him to do that is non-personal like fixing the kitchen sink but he resists doing anything financial....not a good thing. I hope your parents work it out...they are lucky to have you..

              Comment


                #8
                Originally posted by edwards2
                Josie - first and foremost I totally respect you for looking after your parents. A lot of sons and daughters could care less and that is despicable. Just wondering how your dad kept the credit card bills from your Mom all this time...my husband does not participate in financial issues despite the fact I badger and nag him all the time about it. He will do anything you ask him to do that is non-personal like fixing the kitchen sink but he resists doing anything financial....not a good thing. I hope your parents work it out...they are lucky to have you..
                My Hubby is the same way, Edwards. I feel he secretly blames me for the situation we're in now, but the only thing he ever really said is, "I didn't know it was this bad." Which says right there he knew things weren't good. Maybe he didn't wanna admit it to himself. I don't know. And Lord knows I tried numerous times over the years to tell him that our house was eating us alive. It was the driving force behind our debt. You'd think he woulda known something when he had to sit down and sign loan papers twice in 10 years for money on the house.

                We can't chat about the BK openly. If I read a suggestion here for how to handle something, and bring it up to Hubby, he immediately stiffens and does not want to discuss it. Or, he'll say, "Ask the attny." I finally said to Hubby that the attny is not gonna hold our hands thru this whole thing. There's of contract of what the attny will do for us, and that's it. He doesn't wanna be pestered with all these questions. He made that quite clear in the packet. On one sheet in the packet, the attny says, "Feel free to call with questions. But do not call with one question at a time. We are busy handling other people's cases as well. Jot down your questions, save them up, and make one call to ask several questions at one time."

                Josie,............ I do the same things for my Mom. She lives with us. Even tho she does lots of things for herself, she cannot live alone. She wants duties and responsibilities. She wants to feel like she contributes to the family. She loves being a part of our kids lives. I think in a great way, they help to keep her living and young at heart. She enjoys their youth and hearing about their life experiences. But she cannot live alone.

                This morning she had a "fight" with the washing machine, and the washing machine won. While she was putting clothes in, something happened and the lid fell down. She didn't get her hand out in time, and the lid tore a huge hole in her hand. It's bad. I wanted to take her to see about getting that new artificial dermal stuff put on it. But she doesn't wanna go to the doctor or the hospital. She does rounds of doctors visits every month as it is. Family doctor. Kidney specialist. Now she's seeing a podiatrist because of a sore on her foot that wouldn't heal. She has her fill of doctors every month already and just does not want to go for what she thinks is a little boo boo.

                Her kidney function is declining. She had been relatively stable since we discovered the kidney failure a little over 2 years ago. But, since November, since we started seeing the new kidney specialist here, her kidney function had declined a little more each month. The doctor "pushed" more for getting prepped for dialysis in our visit yesterday. Even had a dialysis counselor come in and chat with us before we left yesterday as well.

                Mom can't keep her medical bills all sorted. I've had to take those, go thru them, match up what Medicare has paid, and what's pending. See who has or hasn't billed Medicare. Call the people who haven't billed Medicare and get that going. Call the ones who have billed Medicare and "remind" them she doesn't have to pay until Medicare settles up. Medicare can take MONTHS to process a claim. So it's easy to see why it can be confusing for her. She goes to the doctor in January and Medicare finally pays in September.

                Bless you for being there to help your folks out. This world we live in moves way too fast for them. When it comes to business decisions, my Mom's mind works in terms of 1954 when she and my Dad bought their house. So I kinda understand how it is for you to deal with your parents.

                Good Luck!! And know there are others of us out here doing the exact same thing you are. Taking care of those who cared for us when we couldn't do it ourselves.
                Filed Ch 7 - 09/06
                Discharged - 12/2006
                Officially Declared No Asset - 03/2007
                Closed - 04/2007

                I am not an attorney. My comments are based on personal experience and research. Always consult an attorney in your area to address concerns related to your particular situation.

                Another good thing about being poor is that when you are seventy your children will not have declared you legally insane in order to gain control of your estate. - Woody Allen...

                Comment


                  #9
                  sinkingfast...my mother told me to give up on trying to convert the unconverted....I used to whine about my husband not being anything but the handyman until I am sure she was tired of it and told me I should just give up - he was that way and I wasnt going to change him. I would agree with that except for the fact we have one more child at home...our 16 year old son and I am very concerned should something happen to me my husband would be clueless as to what to do. You would think my husband would be embarrassed about that but he isnt. He is a good person and a nice guy but he is also weak when it making decisions so he just doesnt. The good thing is he doesnt drive me crazy about spending every little dime - which I hardly do anymore - but he thinks because he doesnt do that it gives him the license to watch from the sidelines instead of taking care of business. He was the same way your husband is about the BK; he never did anything to help with it even when we had to gather all the paperwork the second time around for the trustee except to write the circumstances of his self inflicted medical situation which was the main reason we had to file BK to begin with. Mine doesnt blame me for it - no reason to. The way I feel if you dont participate you have no say. Sorry to go on so long but I guess you struck a nerve....

                  Comment


                    #10
                    May father is from the old school I guess, and he's a highschool drop-out with way way too much pride for his and my mom's own good. Aside from that tho, he has a huge heart, he just hides it and tries to run the show at any cost unfortunately.
                    Over the years, I've come to notice, it always comes back to his education or lack of. He tries to make up for it and show people he's smart. He buys people drinks at the Elk's (he can't afford it), he comes home in a new truck, didn't even talk it over with my mom. He's trying to live as if there are no problems, but a problem is brewing.
                    The hard part for me is going to be how to approach him without offending him with some much needed advice and get him to understand that they still have a shot at atleast some kind of retirement before it's too late.

                    A few years ago when my mother first realized some debt accumalating they argued about it and my dad walked out, didn't want to hear it. When he came back he said "I'll handle all the bills, don't worry". Since then, he handle's all the bills, that's how he's hid the debt. Now that he works out of town often for weeks at a time sometimes, and with tax season apon us, my mother had to dig into the bag of receipts he keeps for gas exspenses and hotels for write-off purposes and noticed the credit card statements. She knew he had some debt, but not that much. Figuring out the math from there was easy, they're in trouble.
                    What really kills me is I sold my house 2 years ago. Since then my old house has climbed in value $125,000. If only I'd hung on to it, I could have sold now, paid everything off they have and made a deal with my dad which I don't think he'd break with me, and still pocketed nearly $50,000 myself while allowing them to retire. I would have been very happy with that
                    But that's life right? We're not out of the game yet, it's just back to the drawing board.
                    Thanks again for your concern and responses.

                    Take care,

                    Comment


                      #11
                      Originally posted by edwards2
                      sinkingfast...my mother told me to give up on trying to convert the unconverted....I used to whine about my husband not being anything but the handyman until I am sure she was tired of it and told me I should just give up - he was that way and I wasnt going to change him. I would agree with that except for the fact we have one more child at home...our 16 year old son and I am very concerned should something happen to me my husband would be clueless as to what to do. You would think my husband would be embarrassed about that but he isnt. He is a good person and a nice guy but he is also weak when it making decisions so he just doesnt. The good thing is he doesnt drive me crazy about spending every little dime - which I hardly do anymore - but he thinks because he doesnt do that it gives him the license to watch from the sidelines instead of taking care of business. He was the same way your husband is about the BK; he never did anything to help with it even when we had to gather all the paperwork the second time around for the trustee except to write the circumstances of his self inflicted medical situation which was the main reason we had to file BK to begin with. Mine doesnt blame me for it - no reason to. The way I feel if you dont participate you have no say. Sorry to go on so long but I guess you struck a nerve....
                      Gosh Edwards,............. I swear it sounds like we are married to the same man!!

                      We had a big row about our truck.

                      Attnys won't answer me when I directly ask them about the equity in our truck. Will the Trustee take it and sell it? I got a vague answer from one attny about sprinkling exemptions around to make it unappealing. Another attny said, "The Trustees don't like to mess with things that have notes on them." Yeah right.

                      I dig around a bit on the Net. Find out the Trustee will probably be drooling at the prospect of their cut to take our truck and sell. Research I did on my own. Show it to hubby to read in black and white. He says if anything he thinks that makes the truck LESS appealing to the Trustee. Big fight insues.

                      Several days later, Hubby comes back and say, OUT OF THE BLUE,........"I think we should sell the truck. Pay off the Lender and the IRS. We need to take care of that before we file." Talk about dumb founded??!!

                      Hubby never wants to discuss any big issue. Maybe his family didn't. I don't know. But he never does. If the kids mention anything, he'll shush them up. It's like we have a bunch of elephants sitting in the room. You know they're there, but we don't talk about them.
                      Filed Ch 7 - 09/06
                      Discharged - 12/2006
                      Officially Declared No Asset - 03/2007
                      Closed - 04/2007

                      I am not an attorney. My comments are based on personal experience and research. Always consult an attorney in your area to address concerns related to your particular situation.

                      Another good thing about being poor is that when you are seventy your children will not have declared you legally insane in order to gain control of your estate. - Woody Allen...

                      Comment

                      bottom Ad Widget

                      Collapse
                      Working...
                      X