So you filed Chapter 13 - who have you told (and who knows)?

[fileda13]

This is just a curiosity question to see how different people face their Chapter 13.

The only people (other than my wife - duh ) who I've told are my two children who are 28 and 25, and my parents. At this early stage I don't believe anyone else knows. I'm debating telling my brother, but I'm not sure what would happen after that (I love him, just not sure if he'd keep it quiet). I think my wife has told at least one of her two sisters, and I'm not sure about her father yet.

To be honest, I'm the type of person who would go on a Dr. Phil type show and tell my story because it could be a learning process for others. But my wife is just the opposite, so I know that will never happen.

[newbie2]

We've told no one. Our adult children don't need to know, neither do our friends or co-workers. We've been in this for 5+ years now and have never felt the need to share our experience in person with anyone else. Thankfully, we have a good strong relationship so we can talk to each other during the rough times.

[kjrmom911]

We told our children (who live with us) , our parents and close family and friends. I'm not embarrassed by it. A lot of it was beyond our control due to the economy.

[fileda13]

We told our children (who live with us) , our parents and close family and friends. I'm not embarrassed by it. A lot of it was beyond our control due to the economy.

I'm not embarrassed either. I know many people who believe that their finances are nobody elses business but their own, and I know other people who tell the world about their finances. For me, I felt an obligation to tell my parents and my children. It wasn't whether they needed to know or not, but with those directly close to me (parents and children) for me there are no secrets. And Chapter 13 being a very important step in ones life, I wanted those close to me to know and not keep it a secret.

[lillymarlene]

I told my boyfriend, who lives with me, and I'm glad I did. He has been extremely supportive of me, throughout this process. Then I also told a few other people, my friend since highschool, and my brother. Another friend I also mentioned my BK to, since we have certain business vendors in common. (Figured I would let him know first before all the gossip started... you have to list all vendors you owe money to.)

Most people that know about me, have been fine with it. Then, I'm not going to waste my time worrying about people finding out about "my little secret." Of course there are a few, that act like this is the worst thing ever that a person could do. But, then as I've said in other posts, that these people never were my friends to start with.

[CCB35]

I tried to keep it a secretespecially from my dad .He called me one day and told me that my mother-in-law had called to tell him all about it and that My wife and I were starving because we couldnt buy groceries.I was embarrassed and i told him i work for a dang restaraunt ,so we werent going to starve.I never knew if my wife put her up to calling and trying to get money from him or what.I didnt want him to know

[mdl]

I do not reveal things to people if I dont have to. As an example, I was told in October that I had had multiple small strokes. I didnt tell my DH until Christmas and as of this date, only one sister and my son know. My sister wouldnt have known had my DH not told my brother-in-law.
So, no, telling people about my pending BK isnt in the cards.

[jetsfan2010]

never told anyone other than immediate family.

[IamOld]

Wow - I hope you're ok - take care of yourself!!!

[mdl]

Thats part of the reason we are filing. When I found out, I freaked out because my DH had to retire on SSDI in 2007 because HE had a stroke........
and to keep our life as "normal' as possible we have been robbing US (his 401K/IRA) to pay THEM........his brain doesnt work like it used to and he got it in his head that if he was going to have to live with his stroke and never have the retirement he had hoped for, he was going to enjoy himself now....we have a new kitchen and a pool that his retirement bought....when I found out, it hit me...........WHAT IF SOMETHING HAPPENS TO ME? He cant take care of all this crap we have gotten into. So here we stand.
Actually, they would be in great financial shape if the worst happened to me....

[IamOld]

Well, a nice kitchen is a nice kitchen! :-)

Hey - re your last sentence - I will admit that has crossed my mind - BUT do NOT think about that. EVer ok?!

Thats part of the reason we are filing. When I found out, I freaked out because my DH had to retire on SSDI in 2007 because HE had a stroke........
and to keep our life as "normal' as possible we have been robbing US (his 401K/IRA) to pay THEM........his brain doesnt work like it used to and he got it in his head that if he was going to have to live with his stroke and never have the retirement he had hoped for, he was going to enjoy himself now....we have a new kitchen and a pool that his retirement bought....when I found out, it hit me...........WHAT IF SOMETHING HAPPENS TO ME? He cant take care of all this crap we have gotten into. So here we stand.
Actually, they would be in great financial shape if the worst happened to me....

[kornellred]

I wear both of my bankruptcies like badges of honor. I would say that reactions to my candor about bankruptcy range about 10% disgust, 20% jealousy and 70% amusement.

[IamOld]

I wear both of my bankruptcies like badges of honor. I would say that reactions to my candor about bankruptcy range about 10% disgust, 20% jealousy and 70% amusement.

I think I agree with you - reminds me of the Scarlet Letter :-)

[shark66]

Only the closest relatives on my side of the family.

My in-laws have no clue, and the same goes for everyone else.

The way people are, someone would get me to unlimber my Kimber, and I can't afford to do time for silly stuff right now...

Good luck to us all.

[fslady]

Of the people I'm close to - my daughter is the only one who knows and she encouraged me to file. It's not that Bk is a shameful disgrace, it's just no one else's business.