What to tell kids?

[mckinnea]

We were served today for defaulting on our credit union debt. We have appointment with our atty tomorrow to prepare for filing.

Question for others with kids at home.. The kids know something is up. My husband and i have been on edge and snapping at each other. We've also cut back on regular expenditures over the past several months which they have noticed.

We have 2 boys - ages 9 and 13. Our 13 yo boy is on the autistic spectrum. He would not understand the context of our situation as a typical 13 yo boy would. He is emotionally about 9 years old as well.

Our 9 yo is really sharp. He's more like a 13 yo. He's the one i'm worried about. I can tell he's got some security issues surrounding all of these changes.

Shared experiences are welcome. I am devastated at the toll this is taking on our family.

Thank you -
Michelle

[drowning123]

Hi Michelle,

We underestimate children. I have a 10 year-old. I'm a single mom, though, so there's no one to snap at (not making light of your situation). I understand what you're going through. You feel like a failure to your kids. We're supposed to be providing for them and you know the rest. Anyway. What you're actually doing is preparing for their future. Tell the kids that the economy is bad and jobs aren't paying what they used to. Talk to the kids. They understand much more than we know. I actually take care of my elderly parents as well. I am the sole provider for them and my son, so I have a lot of responsibility. Don't keep the kids in the dark. It may lead to something worse. Nip it in the bud now. Tell them the truth. Tell them that your lifestyle has to be adjusted. Pick out the positive stuff like "but we can still go to the movies now and then, but we can still eat out now and then." Are you filing for bk? I truly wish you the best.

[kornellred]

drowning123 is spot-on in her comments. I would add that you can be honest with young people and leave out the word "bankruptcy" in your explanations. The word itself is essentially viewed as a pejorative and that is likely to remain the case.

[mckinnea]

Thank you both!!!

[drowning123]

You are very welcome!