To do it now, or wait.........

[DOA]

Ok, my wife and I had been having problems for the past 2 years. Before I got sick in May/June last year she had informed me she wanted a divorce. Well, now, she has informed me again, that when our plan is complete and discharged she wants a divorce. Until then, roommates, nothing more. Her words I believe were "We aren't friends and I am not going to pretend we are." So on to the question, would I be better off to divorvce now and have my plan/bk modified before it's confirmed or wait until the bk is finished? What do you think? Three years is a long time to trust we will stay under the same roof, but if she leaves, so does her daughter (I got her when she was 4, now 19 and in college) who has a part time job and school. I love my daughter, no matter the situation with my wife. But I don't think my wife can handle a ch13 and living on her income, so if we divorced maybe she should convert to 7, I don't know, I'm just rambling and venting. All I can say is that someone tried to explain why my life is a shambles because I married the wrong zodiac sign??????????????? I said ok, I'm a Leo, what sign should I have married? A Gemini, he says. Funny, I say, my wife IS A GEMINI!!!!! Guess again. Life 1, astrology 0.

[jane taylor]

DOA:

First of all, I am so sorry this is happening to you; you don't need this on top of everything else. Do contact your attorney and ask him/her what you may need to do. Also, consider your health and what would be in your best interests so far as that is concerned--talk with your doctors, too.

Just a thought, but is she open to any kind of counseling? Sometimes there are colleges, seminaries, or other faith-based organizations that offer counseling for a nominal fee.

Keep us posted and God bless--

jane

[SinkingFast]

I don't know what to say, DOA!

I am sorry for you that on top of your health and financial issues, you're having to deal with this as well.

It's easy for people standing on the outside looking in to say, "You should do this." or "You should do that." but we aren't living in your home, in your life, with your wife and daughter.

This isn't numbers. It's not cut an dried. There's a life that's been built together, a partnership of years, and a lot of emotional investment.

I think Jane had a good suggestion. Run all this by your attny. Get his/her input on the impact a seperation/divorce will have on your BK. That's something concrete you can do to gather info to help in the decision making process.

[aa06a47]

Ok, my wife and I had been having problems for the past 2 years. Before I got sick in May/June last year she had informed me she wanted a divorce. Well, now, she has informed me again, that when our plan is complete and discharged she wants a divorce. Until then, roommates, nothing more. Her words I believe were "We aren't friends and I am not going to pretend we are." So on to the question, would I be better off to divorvce now and have my plan/bk modified before it's confirmed or wait until the bk is finished? What do you think? Three years is a long time to trust we will stay under the same roof, but if she leaves, so does her daughter (I got her when she was 4, now 19 and in college) who has a part time job and school. I love my daughter, no matter the situation with my wife. But I don't think my wife can handle a ch13 and living on her income, so if we divorced maybe she should convert to 7, I don't know, I'm just rambling and venting. All I can say is that someone tried to explain why my life is a shambles because I married the wrong zodiac sign??????????????? I said ok, I'm a Leo, what sign should I have married? A Gemini, he says. Funny, I say, my wife IS A GEMINI!!!!! Guess again. Life 1, astrology 0.

Sorry about your wife, been there done that, I know how you feel. The best part of it is, it won't hurt forever, and when it is all said and done, you'll feel better, your health will be better, your outlook will be better. I attended some church groups for divorced people. Believe me, they helped alot. Best part, they don't cost much (you might have to buy a book).

If your wife is treating you this way now, I cannot imagine you are truley happy either. Your daughter and you can stay close, just make sure she knows how you feel and that you want to stay close with her.

This is what I would do:

1) Contact the attorney and tell him/her that your getting a divorce and will need to amend the plan.
2) Contact an attorney who handles divorce. Tell him your situation and that you need a quick divorce. Be sure and establish who pays what debt and or who pays what amount to the trustee. I am not sure if you can do this part of it, but who knows?
3) Whatever you do, don't let her continue to torment your life by living with you for the next 3 years out of conveninece.

Hope my feelings here are not too "strong". I went back and forth with my x-wife numerous times, all ending more unhappy than the previous time. The last time she came to see me she was talking about trying to get back together, and I said I don't want to. It took alot of courage for me to say this, it would have been so easy to get back together and be miserable.

Good luck!!!

[Minnymouth]

Okay, questions,
1. Are you presently waiting on a confirmation for a Chapter 13 plan?
2. Did you file as an individual or as a couple?
3. Do you have home/auto assets that are involved?
4. Have you attended your 341 meeting?

How you filed has a lot to do with WHAT YOU SHOULD DO NEXT..........

Minny

[Minnymouth]

If divorce is inevitable, then I would go a Chapter 7 and clean all debts out.......... give both of you a "new start in life"....

If a home is involved, one buy the other out or surrender it and cut your losses...

Let the bankrutpcy "wipe-out" all debts that you can......

If this is the second time she's cried divorce, then more than likely it's coming sooner or later and 3 years is a long time to try to put up with each other.... very hard to be "just friends"..................

Life is for the living - not for - "let's see if we can get along today".

My folks married till death do us part - and one found out 35 years was a "long wait"...................

Minny

[DOA]

Okay, questions,
1. Are you presently waiting on a confirmation for a Chapter 13 plan?Yes
2. Did you file as an individual or as a couple?Couple
3. Do you have home/auto assets that are involved?Yes
4. Have you attended your 341 meeting?Yes

How you filed has a lot to do with WHAT YOU SHOULD DO NEXT..........

Minny

Above

[Minnymouth]

Am presently headed home for the evening, will be on line later tonight hopefully and will get back with you on this issue you have pending......
Right now I need to take the system main frame down and do some work on it...
Later tonite or tomorrow morning,

Minny