Feeling Humiliated and Defeated

[destiny62]

I have always paid my bills until January 2005 when I just couldn't pay that month because part of my income went down the tubes. Jobs are hard to come by in this small town, but I'm building a business from home and we should be fine again someday (soon I hope).

I could not believe that creditors could be so very rude even after having missed one lousy payment. It really makes me mad that here I have always paid my credit bills, and I go through a tough time and they can be so uncaring. I have been putting them before my family and now I'm wondering if I shouldn't have filed sooner, maybe things wouldn't have been so rough.

I have about $30k in credit card debt, am current on my home and have had one or two late payments on my car, but it is current. But not being able to pay my cc's even for a month has put me to where I'll never get caught up with everything, especially with the home heating bills being outrageous.

I was even thinking about filing on my car that I just bought last June that is costing me over $300 a month and just getting something more practical. Not that my car isn't practical, its a Ford Focus, but they are not cheap and the insurance is insane.

I do look at this as a fresh start, but I do feel as though I have failed and feeling a bit humiliated by all of it, especially the credit calls that my kids wonder why I avoid answering. I never thought that I would do it. My lawyer believes that it is every American's right to file and reassured me that this is my best option, rather than going 13 which would cost more overall.

I am not filing to run from my bills, but I have kids to feed and think it's my only option at this point. Anyone else feeling a bit humbled by their experience?

[cmw]

I can TOTALLY understand where you are coming from. Do not feel humiliated though! Think of it as a learning experience. You will feel so much better when you get everything filed and you have that big weight lifted off your back! My bank. att. always says this is my "one get out of jail free card."

Keep your chin up!

Christy

[shygal]

I can also totally relate to you !!! I have NOT filed yet ( meeting with lawyer on Monday ) But my daughter often wonders why we don'y answer the phone!!! I also was always on time with my bills .. until my husband decided to start his own business which IS NOT GOING well

[Dgwilliams]

I so know how you feel - I had a business and when it failed i tried to use a credit card to keep it going(very stupid) Always deluding myself that I could get caught back up. When i finally faced the facts I was near a nervous breakdown(taking Paxil and Xanax)have always been a very stong person but this is just kicking my butt - really feel like a failure. I have filed but still feel like I am getting kicked in the teeth by the bk trustee every time I turn around. How unfair is it that a trustee get's paid to do a job but also gets a percentage of anything she can find - as far as money - tax returns - etc to make you turn over. We had been paying my mother in law back for a loan - she paid some cc's of for us about a year ago - the trustee wants her to remit the $3500.00 to her that we had paid my MIL - this really sucks because we included her in the bk on the advise of our lawyer when really no one knew about this dept but us - what he didn't tell us was not to show we had repaid her anything - no we not only get to start over with her debt but also will still owe the IRS and our state tax commission - I don't feel that much better off after filing bk - so much for the fresh start. dgw

[missy2]

Don't feel so bad. There is no shame in filing. You sound like a responsible person who ended up in a situation that was beyond your control. It happens. I think that is why MOST of us are here. I had a lot of crazy stuff going on when I was younger and it finally caught up with me. I know that doing this will be the best decision I've made. It will be a clean slate.

And I know what you mean about cc's! I was always on time and when my payments fell behind they turned into jerks. They are quick to slam you with fees and high interest rates rendering you unable to catch up. Screw it. Its not worth it to be upset about it or feel bad!! We are doing the best that we can!

[Dawn1970]

I beat myself up too, pretty much nominated myself "A**hole of the Year" for my 'failure.' But you know, my attorney pointed out that with most of your creditors, you have paid them many times over just in all the interest they've charged you. And he said to me, "The real a**holes change their names and social security numbers and just run away. At least you're facing your debts and dealing with them in a perfectly legal manner."
It gets better. :o

[destiny62]

Thanks for Support

Thank you all for your responses ... it really helps me to know that I am not the only one out here.

This is truly my last option, that much I know. I am like $900 behind on my utility bills. My lawyer even wants me to quit paying on my car and apply for 722 Redemption because my car worth much less than I paid for it. I cannot believe that a car that I bought just last May is worth about half of what I financed it for. I mean, it still has that new car smell! How is it that cars decrease in value so quickly?

I still have my paperwork, all I have to do is place it in a mailbox and I am in. That is the scary part, putting it in the mailbox. Guess I'll have to do that tomorrow and face the fact that this is really happening and I cannot turn back now.

I wish everyone the best of luck! ;)