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**HHM** · 02-25-2005, 02:02 PM

Well, your accounts are already in collection so the suit timeline is shorter. They are threatening suit because they know where you are, but they really don't want to do that because the collection company gets very little money if they sue compared to with just settling with you.

Even if they sue you, you still have time, and in the unlikely event they are able to obtain a judgment before you file BK, you can avoid the judgment in BK court.

However, if you get sued, file BK before the deadline to file the answer to the lawsuit.

**mothersvox** · 02-25-2005, 02:52 PM

Thanks so much for that advice, HMM. You're really helpful.

I thought that if we find ourselves sued we might have to file before the court date. That makes sense to me.

You are really wonderful for doing this board. It is such a godsend to people like ourselves who could never have imagined that we'd find ourselves in such a situation.

I can't wait til it's over and we can start rebuilding. This part is horrendous.

**drowningindebt** · 02-25-2005, 03:13 PM

Mothersvox, I just wrote you a really long response and then it got wiped out by my computer, grrrr.

Anywho, here's the main point:

Do you want to wait 90 days or would you rather file sooner?

I had my last charges at the beginning of Dec and filed in the beginning of Jan. My charges after November 1st were all necessities except one bottle of wine (oops) that I bought because I had no idea I was going to file then. I paid all of the creditors for all purchases I made after 11/1 just as a "good faith effort." (Charges were about $400 total.)

Anyway, my point is this, we both live in NYC so you'll be going through a similar process I have been going through. Maybe it's the New Yawker in me but I couldn't wait 90 days. I couldn't take the stress of the phone calls so I asked my lawyer if I could go ahead and file and after looking at my specific situation he said yes.

Obviously your lawyer knows what's best for your personal situation but it might be at least worth asking him about it point blank. Have you had more than $1000 in the past 90 days to credit cards? Were they for necessities?

My 341 is done and went fine and now I have 39 days until I am eligible for discharge.

I would just hate for you to have to live with all of this stress if you don't really HAVE to, you know?

**mothersvox** · 02-25-2005, 03:56 PM

Gosh Drowning, Thanks so much for that post. I'm so happy for you that you're 39 days away from having this off your plate. That is *fantastic*.

I am thinking of talking with some other attorneys because this one is my husband's attorney from business stuff and they just don't seem to get how totally depressed all of this is making me. The phone calls. The letters. The trying to figure out how I'm going to make ends meet post BK. It's soooo stressful.

My 7-year-old daughter has started sleeping with her teddy, her blankie, and a sock filled with quarters! That makes me cry. Even she's worried about it, even though we never ever talk about it in front of her. How are kids so smart, even when they're supposedly developmentally delayed? Anyway . . .

I really need for this to just be taken care of. So I put calls into two other attorneys and will hope to meet them next week.

Thanks so much for your post. AND especially for retyping it. That's happened to me before and it's soooo annoying.

**drowningindebt** · 02-25-2005, 04:20 PM

Good for you for calling other lawyers!!! I realize this isn't the case everywhere but especially in NYC, SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO many people file that the lawyers who specialize in BK know it like the back of their hand here, especially for people who have relatively simple cases. There are a billion lawyers here who give free consultations and they want your business so they will be happy to talk to you and answer all of your questions. If you want to file FAST, they might be able to make it work just be sure to let them know that that is a concern for you. At my 341 (which was probably in the same room yours will be in) the trustee didn't even ask about recent charges, just preferential payments in the past year so I'll bet you'll be able to file sooner than you think.

I kind of got the feeling from your posts that you and I are in the same boat about the stress level--some people can take the phone calls and stress but not us.

And, about your little girl, isn't it AMAZING how they pick up on this stuff? It's like they have ESP. The good news is that once you talk to a BK lawyer you will feel a little better, once you file you will actually feel good and once you successfully complete the 341, you will feel GREAT. I went home and danced around my tiny apartment for a couple of hours. Actually even NOW when I think about it, it still makes me a little giddy, LOL!

The moral is...you're going to be just fine and your little one will be sleeping well very soon. In the meantime just keep chanting, "This too shall pass" over and over again. (I used to use it when I was training for a marathon to get me up the hills and it really works!)

Good luck, hon!

(PS. I've changed my screenname on other boards to "headabovewater" because now I finally feel like I can BREATHE again!)

**mothersvox** · 02-26-2005, 03:17 PM

Thanks Head Above Water!

Hey HeadAboveWater!

Thanks again for your posts. I am feeling better about it all. I'm still worrying about how to make ends meet post-credit cards, but I have lots and lots of job applications out in the world now. I am underearning in the academic job I'm in right now, so I think I can find more lucrative work.

I just hope my dh gets undepressed and starts looking for work b/c I'm tired of trying to keep us afloat (to use your water metaphor!)

And I hope my kid isn't permanently scarred and scared by our financial meltdown!

Keep on dancing around your apartment!

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