is this the norm? re: lawyers

[ANEWLIFE]

Hi guys. I have a question. Is my lawyer acting like a jack ass to me the norm??
I mean, i know they are not too senstive but must i feel "afraid" to talk to him? He "hates" it if i ask any questions and shows it. He answers in a condescending tone and one time after filing, i asked him some question and He used the word "shit" to describe the matter of my question.
and im not a psycho who calls him everyday and asks every little thing. I actually never called him and try to find answers here (which i usually do!! love the forum) because im afraid of him.
Before I filed, when i was lawyer shopping aroud, he sounded the most nice and caring and really listened giving me assurance that he can help. but after i paid him and got into the case, it's like every word coming out of my mouth is bother to him.
I can't believe he can't realize this is my first time filing bankrupcy and im anxious about everything. i asked him where should we meet at 341 since i dunno, i've never been there and he's like inside outside be wherever you want in the most meanest condescending tone...
guys..im not streching one bit. hope you understand. i've been hesistant to ask you guys opinion but... please give me some.
good luck to you all.

[HHM]

It's hard to control perception. Also, if these were phone conversations...you should be a little hesitant to assume he was being condescending. Keep in mind, to them, BK is just a financial tool. Try to keep some perspective, that in your current state, you are probably more prone to misinterpret. From their perspective, the fact that you are having anxiety, emotional, and psychological issues with BK is irrational (which actually, it is to some degree). But, the attorney has some responsibility to to set expectations and inform you how the relationship will work.

But in any event, yes, many BK attorney's can come off cold, but that rarely has an impact on the outcome of your case. They are there to file a successful BK for you, they are not psychological counselors, nor are they there to be encyclopedias to answer every single question you might have, if they are good, they view a case, will know what issues are of concern and address those, and then simply tell you not to worry about ones that are not issues, but they are not required to explain why something is not an issue.

[aachudneymiles]

Hi guys. I have a question. Is my lawyer acting like a jack ass to me the norm??
I mean, i know they are not too senstive but must i feel "afraid" to talk to him? He "hates" it if i ask any questions and shows it. He answers in a condescending tone and one time after filing, i asked him some question and He used the word "shit" to describe the matter of my question.
and im not a psycho who calls him everyday and asks every little thing. I actually never called him and try to find answers here (which i usually do!! love the forum) because im afraid of him.
Before I filed, when i was lawyer shopping aroud, he sounded the most nice and caring and really listened giving me assurance that he can help. but after i paid him and got into the case, it's like every word coming out of my mouth is bother to him.
I can't believe he can't realize this is my first time filing bankrupcy and im anxious about everything. i asked him where should we meet at 341 since i dunno, i've never been there and he's like inside outside be wherever you want in the most meanest condescending tone...
guys..im not streching one bit. hope you understand. i've been hesistant to ask you guys opinion but... please give me some.
good luck to you all.

from my experience like above posted said some are cold but thats why you meet with a few of them see if any of them have the qualities you desire. See if he is the type to answer questions freely or if he is caring about your position. If he is trying to push you a certain way etc.. see if he is for you. I know its to late for you but Iwould suck it up..if you have already paided him// good luck

why would you even hirer him? but I know he must have been nice atleast for the first meeting with him right? I think you know the answer to your own question .. No!! like anyone else you hirer they shouldnt treat you like you are a burden thats your money that you paid for him for his services and he isnt doing you a favor. Dont be a push over .. He has control of your papaerwork so I wouldnt cuss him out but back to my first question why would you hirer someone like this ..? did he trick or something...

[ANEWLIFE]

yeah. that's why im just babbling here and not saying anything to him since the outcome is what's important. but sometimes, i don wanna ask somethings and be assured by a "lawyers" and not "my" thinking head.
I hired him because at first two meetings he was the nicest guy. who answered all my questions.
I try to put on perspective.. but now im afraid of my bankrupcy case and my lawyer...

[kl030505]

Man, we really lucked out in the attorney department. Ours has been nothing but kind, patient and supportive. We've had 3 meetings total with him, all after business hours and with our small child in tow. He has always promptly answered any questions I have had by email and with a great deal of concern and patience.

It's been nearly a year since we first retained him (it has taken us a long time to get the full fees together) and he's been nothing but wonderful.

I'm not trying to rub it in, but I'm just saying it doesn't have to be like that. If you haven't already paid him very much I would find a new attorney. Now.

[PaKettle]

No, I don't think most attorneys are THAT mean or insensitive to their clients.

All I can say is, if you have any legitimate questions, that you have thought about and don't think they are obsessive or excessive, then just call and ask him anyway, and if he treats you condescendingly or nasty, just say something like, "I wish you would answer me without being condescending. This is my first bankruptcy and I think it's normal to have questions like mine."

When it's all over, a bit of feedback might be appropriate by letter or phone:
"You know, I found you to be very insensitive and not very helpful on the phone, and you won't be getting any referrals from me".

If there are any attorneys reading this, let me emphasize that part of your job should be to treat people with respect, understanding and sensitivity to their fears. You don't have to put up with constant frivolous calls, or questions, but a couple calls should not be a big deal and you should answer questions with respect and understanding of your clients' positions as fellow human beings who are up against a process that seems out of their control and can be very worrisome on top of the financial shambles their life is already in!

The fact is almost ANY attorney can do the paperwork and file the papers (though mine didn't even get THAT completely right!). What really seperates one bankrutpcy attorney from another is interacting with their clients and the Trustee's office well.

If they get a bad rep with the Trustee(s) that can hurt their clients, and if they don't interact well with their clients, that won't get them a lot of referrals.

[demismom]

Once I got to talk with our attorney several times on the phone I got to like her alot. She was NEVER condescending to me. She was direct and to the point, not a lot of small talk, like I'm used to. Anyway, that would really bug me to pay all that money to someone to have talk to me that way.

[BKcrazy]

My attorney and the other one in the office have been pretty patient with me. I've asked a lot of questions. And right before Tday, my attorney laughed and said you know, I'm just going to cut you if I think you are worrying about something....You paid me, let me worry, if I am not worried (and he is not), then you don't need to worry.

He did appreciate the fact that I was very diligent about getting things ready earlier than I needed to.

I've dealt with a divorce attorney, a criminal attorney, a real estate attorney and now the bankruptcy attorney. Soooo, they do get busy, but at times I think being they are only human they forget that we may not understand things as they do. They deal with it everyday, we are just dealing with this now, and this should be the one and only time.

[inhocknow]

Hi guys. I have a question. Is my lawyer acting like a jack ass to me the norm??
I mean, i know they are not too senstive but must i feel "afraid" to talk to him? He "hates" it if i ask any questions and shows it. He answers in a condescending tone and one time after filing, i asked him some question and He used the word "shit" to describe the matter of my question.
and im not a psycho who calls him everyday and asks every little thing. I actually never called him and try to find answers here (which i usually do!! love the forum) because im afraid of him.
Before I filed, when i was lawyer shopping aroud, he sounded the most nice and caring and really listened giving me assurance that he can help. but after i paid him and got into the case, it's like every word coming out of my mouth is bother to him.
I can't believe he can't realize this is my first time filing bankrupcy and im anxious about everything. i asked him where should we meet at 341 since i dunno, i've never been there and he's like inside outside be wherever you want in the most meanest condescending tone...
guys..im not streching one bit. hope you understand. i've been hesistant to ask you guys opinion but... please give me some.
good luck to you all.

What state did you file in? My lawyer is the same way.

Thank you.

[Bankruptcy Atty]

No!!!!!!!!!

Hi guys. I have a question. Is my lawyer acting like a jack ass to me the norm??
I mean, i know they are not too senstive but must i feel "afraid" to talk to him? He "hates" it if i ask any questions and shows it. He answers in a condescending tone and one time after filing, i asked him some question and He used the word "shit" to describe the matter of my question.
and im not a psycho who calls him everyday and asks every little thing. I actually never called him and try to find answers here (which i usually do!! love the forum) because im afraid of him.
Before I filed, when i was lawyer shopping aroud, he sounded the most nice and caring and really listened giving me assurance that he can help. but after i paid him and got into the case, it's like every word coming out of my mouth is bother to him.
I can't believe he can't realize this is my first time filing bankrupcy and im anxious about everything. i asked him where should we meet at 341 since i dunno, i've never been there and he's like inside outside be wherever you want in the most meanest condescending tone...
guys..im not streching one bit. hope you understand. i've been hesistant to ask you guys opinion but... please give me some.
good luck to you all.

FIND SOMEONE THAT IS MIDDLE-AGED, LOW KEY, KNOWS THERE STUFF AND DOESN'T ADVERTISE A TON AND WILL PERSONALLY SEE YOU - AND DEVOTES OVER 50% OF THEIR PRACTICE TO BK. OR, IF YOU ARE ABLE TO DO 7, TALK TO SOME TRUSTEES THAT TAKE PRIVATE CASES - OR IF YOU ARE IN WESTERN NY OR Pa CALL ME.