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I have a feeling you're not the only one who feels that way, Newlife. This process is so big, and swallows up so much of your energy and focus that when that hamster finally dances for you...well, then what?
Although I am unendingly grateful to have qualified for chapter 7, frankly, I think many chapter 13 survivors are in a better position to move on after discharge, because they have all been forced to live within their means for so long that it's become a habit. I have such admiration for anyone who emerges on the other side of one of those plans.
But the rest of us - the "lucky ones" - if we want to be sure we never repeat this experience, we need to find the self-discipline that is forced on the 13ers by their extremely restrictive plans. Sure, it feels like forever until that discharge comes, but for many of us filing ch.7, it actually is a pretty quick process - short enough to allow us to stay in denial about what got us here, and focus on rebuilding credit at the expense of learning to live within our means. In many cases, a large chunk of that involves learning to be honest with spouses about the budget, or saying no to our kids as well as ourselves. Huge, painful changes for some. Scary stuff.
I'm not pointing fingers AT ALL, and obviously this certainly doesn't apply to everyone...we are here for all sorts of reasons, many of them completely beyond our control. But most of us have had the middle-of-the-night coulda, shoulda, wouldas. I'm trying hard to be grateful for the chance of a fresh start, trying to do better this time.
I'll bet you're not alone, Newlife. You're smart to feel a bit apprehensive, and you have the sense not to want to simply forget about all this and do it all over again. You don't HAVE to do anything heroic right now; give yourself some time to recover from the trauma you've been through. Just try not to let it paralyze you, but figure out how to learn from the experience and to benefit from this wonderful freedom.
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