Help!! What should I do?

[abell165]

I am deep into CC debt 80k. Most losses are stupid investment mistakes. I kept those losses to myself and couldn't continue any longer. I told my mom about filing. She went nuts !!! She told me that she would pay those CCs.
Those are about 30% of her assets. She is on fixed income

I insist on filing BK but she would be devastated if I do that without telling her. There was no way to convince her.

Finally, my sister convinced me and mom that she would pay off my CCs.
I pay her $500 a month for 60 months.

What should I do? Take the offer or File for BK??

Age:35 Salary 60K wife not working

[Tbornetun]

This is a personal decision you will have to make. As for your mother and sister having issues with you filing BK, frankly, it is none of their business. If it is what you have to do, you can't live the rest of your life in debt just so you don't upset your mother.

[epiphany]

Wow, that's a tough one.

On one hand you would obliterate 80K worth of debt for only 30K and not have a BK on your record.

On the other hand, you will be indebted to your sister for five years. Are you prepared for that? What happens if you miss a payment? Even if you never miss a payment, is this something she will hang over your head for the rest of your life?

You do make a good case for keeping your BK to yourself.

Seriously, you do have to make the decision for yourself and not base it on how upset anyone else will be. At 35 you don't have to convince her, you wouldn't even have to tell her if you didn't go and do it already.

Good luck in your decision.

ep

[abell165]

More I think of it, payment plan it is.

I can afford 500. We will be on top of it. Second time around, I have to earn it. Car will be paid off by March (400 savings). We downgraded our renting arragements by 40%(500 savings). Two year penny pinching



Thank you for suggestions

[ThreadsSnapping]

What would happen to your relationship with your sister if you lose your job 6 months from now and can't make your payment to her? Can she afford to just pay your CC without getting repaid?

This is going to sound harsh but, you're a 35 year old married man, stop letting your mom and sister make your financial decisions for you. Do what is best for you and your wife and let them think what they want.

-TS

[fltoo]

I am missing something. How is 500 for 60 months going to pay off 80,000?

Are you going to negotiate the debt with the lenders?

I was in same position only the opposite. My 29 yr. old wanted to and is in the position to pay off my 100,000 in debt. If I were younger, I would have taken him up on it, but at my age, I don't care about my credit since I need nothing that would require getting a loan. So, I decided not to.

I think at your age and with a family that sounds like mine, I would take them up on it, pay it off ASAP and take care never to get in the situation again. Sounds like you are trying to lower your expenses to make sure you can make the payment to the sister.

Realize that sometimes mothers overreact and come across harshly. I have done it myself. When I realize with horror what I have done, I back off.

If you do this, understand that the loan is offered in love and concern and a day may come when you can return the gift.

Any reason the wife can't work to help? Children?

[drowningNdebt]

Never, ever get money involved with family. It breaks relationships, trust me! I have seen it happen way to often. Same goes with, don't go into business with a friend! Just my .02

[fltoo]

True, but I have seen it work many times, also. Depends on the family.

But, I agree, never go into business with any partner!!! It may work, but I have never seen it.

[ThreadsSnapping]

Another thing to consider, are you prepared to have your sister hold this over your head for the next 5 years until you pay the loan off? Will she be looking over your shoulder at everything you do and asking if you really need to do that or buy something? Can you handle her asking if you really need to buy that new shirt, or blender or whatever?

This is a large amount of money your sister is giving you and money can change a relationship in funny ways.

And what would happen if you can't pay your sister back at some point? What do you do then? You would be right back where you started, staring BK in the face but now your sister is out 30K. If their feelings are gonna be hurt if you file BK now, what will it be like then?

This is a decision that you and your wife need to make without your mother's and sister's opinions/thoughts/feelings coming into play.

My opinion is file the BK, get a clean slate, move on, rebuild and learn from it so you don't get into this situation again.

-TS

[JJL]

I am deep into CC debt 80k. Most losses are stupid investment mistakes. I kept those losses to myself and couldn't continue any longer. I told my mom about filing. She went nuts !!! She told me that she would pay those CCs.
Those are about 30% of her assets. She is on fixed income

I insist on filing BK but she would be devastated if I do that without telling her. There was no way to convince her.

Finally, my sister convinced me and mom that she would pay off my CCs.
I pay her $500 a month for 60 months.

What should I do? Take the offer or File for BK??

Age:35 Salary 60K wife not working

You need to decide this with YOUR family. Not your mom or sister. Do whats best for you and your wife and any kids you might have. Can you even afford the $500 deal Sis is offering?

[Stilltheone]

Never, ever get money involved with family. It breaks relationships, trust me! I have seen it happen way to often. Same goes with, don't go into business with a friend! Just my .02

Hate to say it, but I agree.

My inlaws loaned us money. To make a long story short, we ended up including them in our bankruptcy. We no longer talk to them.

I could care less, but I know my husband is upset about his relationship with his parents....all because of money.

[fltoo]

Aw, stilltheone, that is sad. Has to be hard on the hub.

[abell165]

Thank you for your replies.
My sister and mom wanted to payoff the debt on condition that I tear up my credit cards. They knew any conditions force me to BK. I insisted on keeping cards and paying them back 500 a month for next 5 years.
Wife was devastated, I didn't tell her until after. She is looking for a job but no idea how long that takes. She is incharge of credit now.

[pigpen75]

Easy descision. Take your sister up on the deal. Tell her you'll pay her $1000 a month and have i direct deposited in you sisters account each month. Then have your wife get a part time job to cover the other $500. Your moms and your credit is happy.

[GoodKarma]

It is a complicated situation because either way your mom and your sister are involved in your financial life. If you choose BK, although I have not (yet) been BK, I understand it is a long-term experience where you may need emotional support. If your mom and your sister are part of your emotional support, and they will not be supportive now if you file the BK because of this offer, that is something to think about. On the other hand, if you take the family loan(s), you will be indebted to your family and this sort of thing can effect relationships, however unintentionally. Plus, 5 years of $500/mo. is a long time to repay a debt to a family member. Personally, I would lean toward not taking the money and doing the BK because then you can be debt free, and then repair your credit and your relationship with your mom and sister, which will maybe not be so hard since they still have their money!