Stressing Out...

[AngelinaCat]

It depends on the newpaper's policy about publishing stuff like that.

Hang in there, Confused! *HUGGS!!*

[Mi Bankruptcy]

As sad as it may be I had to also do this with my mother. I did it the first time my mother made a snide comment about my wife. It happened shortly after I was married. My mother watched her tongue around me from that point on. I have been married 7 years. I suppose it would be harder to do if this has been happening from the start.

The guy needs to look at from the point that he is protecting his family.

[StartingOver08]

I just got finished a huge fight with my mother -inlaw.The very first one. I really like her, however, she yelled at my wife after listening to only one side of the story( wife sisters) My wife doesn't cry.. She did the night her mom pretty much sided with her sister.

This is going to sound mean.

Have your husband read this.

MAN: Grow a set of Balls walk over there and let your parents have it for disrespecting you and your wife and for hurting someone you love. PUT THEM IN THEIR PLACE. Tell them you wont tolerate it. THEN Walk away.. Don't stand around and argue.

OP, this is excellent advice by MI Bankruptcy. There comes a time to lay down the law/rules and this is it. Remember, YOUR family comes first.

[Mi Bankruptcy]

I just got finished a huge fight with my mother -inlaw.The very first one. I really like her, however, she yelled at my wife after listening to only one side of the story( wife sisters) My wife doesn't cry.. She did the night her mom pretty much sided with her sister.

This is going to sound mean.

Have your husband read this.

MAN: Grow a set of Balls walk over there and let your parents have it for disrespecting you and your wife and for hurting someone you love. PUT THEM IN THEIR PLACE. Tell them you wont tolerate it. THEN Walk away.. Don't stand around and argue.

[anime-chicka]

Then here's a simple solution: if FIL starts mouthing off, load the kids up and don't say a word as you leave. Actions speak louder than words.

[Confused78]

I was kind of worried about the same thing for awhile. Embarassment, shame, feeling like a loser.

Had a wage garnishment at work, and after insurance deductions and taxes, was bringing home nothing.

Filed BK.

Went to work, told many of my coworkers, told my GM I filed.

Two days later my GM pulls me aside privately and hands me this release of levy due to bankruptcy paper.

Thank God I told him!

I honestly didn't even care after I told him. It was a HUGE relief. Did it, got it over with and didn't have to stress anymore.

Unloaded that load of bricks off my shoulders and now I am free.

Talk to him (FIL) explain that you have no other options and Bankruptcy protection is a legal option afforded to every citizen of the US and it is just something you have to do.

You will feel a lot better once you relieve yourself of that worry and be able to enjoy the Holidays.

SO many people are filing now because of the foreclosure crisis.

I bet after all the worry , he may just be supportive, give him chance to suprise you.

I hate to sound so negitive but I have known this man for over 15 years and he has never suprised me. The man is a total ass. Not just towards me but towards everyone. He is very old school, supper need to be on the table when he walks in the door, his cup must be filled as soon as it empties. He won't even use the microwave to heat himself up something to eat, he treats my MIL like shit! Hasn't bought her a gift since I have known them. He is just an all around ass. I wish there was some hope that he might try to understand, try to be decent about it and respectful at the least but if I am correct there will be nothing but negitive gargabe flying from his mouth when we finally do come face to face
As for my neighbor, I am going to put a complaint on rottenneighbor.com and a rant on craigslist about him. I know it is not being very mature nor it is going to change anything but it will atleast make me feel better

[Confused78]

[QUOTE=StartingOver08;222173]I have been thinking about your post. It is a shame that your FIL will find it necessary to make comments, but one of the other posters above touched on a pretty good idea about all the big companies filing.

Why don't you put together a couple of pages of the big filings? Lehman Brothers, Circuit City, The Tribune, etc. Have a short little talk with FIL without the kids present. Explain that you have to do what is in the best interest of your family. You did not qualify for the AIG and other bank BAILOUT funds so you had to take the route of The Tribune etc. If it were me, I would not be confrontational, but firm. Let him know that comments during the holiday will not be tolerated. He may actually respect you for it. And if he does not respect your wishes, then you have a decision to make for the sake of your families emotional health. Off soap box now.[/QUO

I wish it would make a difference to him. I am 99.99% sure that he wouldn't even look at it if I did. I having been thinking NON STOP about this, about him! I think I am just going to say, "it's a personal matter that I will not be discussing again, any comments will not be accepted" I am sure that it would only make him commment more but it might be worth a shot if he starts. I am also going to tell him that if he wished to maintain a relationship with the kids then he will respect us and keep his mouth shut. He has off tomorrow so we'll see if he stops over. I know that I have to see him on the 21st for a Christmas dinner, I am hoping to see him before that just so nothing blows up in front of the extended family. This all just sucks so bad

[dingdong]

I was kind of worried about the same thing for awhile. Embarassment, shame, feeling like a loser.

Had a wage garnishment at work, and after insurance deductions and taxes, was bringing home nothing.

Filed BK.

Went to work, told many of my coworkers, told my GM I filed.

Two days later my GM pulls me aside privately and hands me this release of levy due to bankruptcy paper.

Thank God I told him!

I honestly didn't even care after I told him. It was a HUGE relief. Did it, got it over with and didn't have to stress anymore.

Unloaded that load of bricks off my shoulders and now I am free.

Talk to him (FIL) explain that you have no other options and Bankruptcy protection is a legal option afforded to every citizen of the US and it is just something you have to do.

You will feel a lot better once you relieve yourself of that worry and be able to enjoy the Holidays.

SO many people are filing now because of the foreclosure crisis.

I bet after all the worry , he may just be supportive, give him chance to suprise you.

[StartingOver08]

I wish I could ignore them all. I have three children all under the age of 10 and they of course love their grandparents so avoiding them is not an option I know my FIL will make endless comments about it through all of our holiday events. Facing him is going to be the worse. As far a denying it, I tried but the paper had my address listed with my name. Kind of hard to say that there are 2 of us on this street of 5 houses It sucks!
Good luck with your court dtae coming up, I wish I was at the point, that would mean I was beyond this one.

I have been thinking about your post. It is a shame that your FIL will find it necessary to make comments, but one of the other posters above touched on a pretty good idea about all the big companies filing.

Why don't you put together a couple of pages of the big filings? Lehman Brothers, Circuit City, The Tribune, etc. Have a short little talk with FIL without the kids present. Explain that you have to do what is in the best interest of your family. You did not qualify for the AIG and other bank BAILOUT funds so you had to take the route of The Tribune etc. If it were me, I would not be confrontational, but firm. Let him know that comments during the holiday will not be tolerated. He may actually respect you for it. And if he does not respect your wishes, then you have a decision to make for the sake of your families emotional health. Off soap box now.

[Confused78]

Thanks so much for the response! Saw my MIL last night but she didn't mention anything about it, I am sure it will come in time though. She was just in and out qucik. I really am a mess about seeing my FIL. I wish my family was ok with it like yours. I have no support system here, no one to talk to

[dingdong]

You can come join my family.

My family had a family restaurant went belly up quickly after I warned them not to open a restaurant unless they wanted years of misery.

Anyway, because of the business flop, my Couisin filed, her sister filed and my aunt had to file because she had co-signed on a bunch of the credit accounts for supplies, food, etc.

My cousin owes the IRS 150,000.00 in payroll taxes! Ouch!

Now me! (Mine is mostly medical from no insurance for 5 years. I wasn't financially tied to the restaurant, just ended up working for free for awhile ( no payroll money!)

WE are very BK friendly here, we'll adopt you!

Don't worry about it. Look at all the giant corps filing and they have Ivy league educations and still messed up.

As time goes by, people forget and find something else to obsess over.

Just picture them hairy and naked when you see them and have a silent laugh!

Oops, meant the neighbor, not your inlaws!

[Confused78]

I was told by attorney that they werent in the Paper but one could go to the court house and look it up.

Are you sure they put it in the paper.

Positive, the neighbor cut it out for my in-laws which they then brought over to me!

[Confused78]

They advertise these things in the paper? I never knew that. I guess you learn something new everyday.

Yep, in the business section

[Confused78]

I would place a cheap classified ad that reads, "My neighbor (his name here) is a nosey old bugger with a big mouth."

I would love to do that! I wish I could without drawing attention to myself, I just can't believe him right now. How can he think that it was ok to do that.?!?!

[Confused78]

I wish I could ignore them all. I have three children all under the age of 10 and they of course love their grandparents so avoiding them is not an option I know my FIL will make endless comments about it through all of our holiday events. Facing him is going to be the worse. As far a denying it, I tried but the paper had my address listed with my name. Kind of hard to say that there are 2 of us on this street of 5 houses It sucks!
Good luck with your court dtae coming up, I wish I was at the point, that would mean I was beyond this one.