Possible Separation???

[concerned]

I failed to mention in my past posts that my husband and I have been having marital problems, largely due to our financial stress. He has been staying at his parents, but basically just sleeps there. He eats at home and sees our son daily. I got an apartment in my name because it asked for a reason for moving and we didn't want to go into the details about giving up our home, etc. so I simply said that we were separating--which isn't exactly a lie; however, we are not legally separated. My question is: What do we put on our budget? Technically, our old budget really included all of us, with the exception of our water bill from my husband not bathing here. Our attorney questioned this on the paperwork he sent us, but we haven't told him anything formally because it is so up and down, that I honestly don't know how to answer that question. I'm wondering how it will impact our filing anyway because all the debts we have our joint. I don't want them to question our budget either. Yes, we are having problems and taking some time apart, but we do still want to try and work on our marriage. It seemed easier to tell our landlord that we were separating so that we could get the apartment, but now I'm not sure that was such a good idea. Should we just explain the circumstances to our attorney and have him advise us how to amend our budget?

[Pinktiger]

Yes, you should definitely talk to your attorney about it. He/she will not be judgemental, but should just look at the legality issues here. You are probably worrying about nothing. And Landlords are used to having couples get back together, so don't worry about that.
I hope that all this works out well for you. Financial stress is the cause of many a divorce, but actually it is just the catalyst often that will finish the break. If you have a strong relationship otherwise, you may be able to weather this OK. Even if your have some other problems, you might be able to get counseling and resolve them.

Good luck!!!

[sunshine08]

Tell your attorney, they don't like surprises. It sounds like that there isn't much difference in the budget, so he may not ammend.
(trust me your attorney has heard ALL THE STORIES) yours is probably not that different than alot of other people.
Stand back and look at the important things in life, your health, your family, and what really makes a diffrence. DOn't point the finger at who spent what etc. Learn from this TOGETHER
GOOD LUCK AND KEEP US POSTED.

[joefromky]

Here in kentucky I had to prepare 2 different expense lists (Schedule J) one for me and one for my wife as we are seperated.

(The online software I used didnt support this so I had to print the blank forms and fill them out)

[StaciMM]

Concerned-I agree that being upfront w/ your attorney is a good idea. The things to consider long term:

If you stay separated (either officially or unofficially) will your husband continue to stay w/ family, or will he take on a residence of his own, with utilities, rent, etc? From what I recall of your situation, you are likely bound for chapter 13 where your disposable income goes into a plan. If he takes on a 2nd rent at some point, you should be able to amend your 13 and possibly lower the payment. (Or maybe even convert to a chapter 7 though I'm clueless regarding that process!) If you discuss the situation fully w/ your attorney now, he'll be better able to prepare you for the 'what if's' down the road.

[Minnymouth]

I have to agree with the others, tell your attorney the "whole story" - your Chapter 13 budget now could prove to be a strain if your finanically/marital status changes 6 months from now.
So best be upfront with your lawyer - let him make out a budget both ways for you - together and separated - to have to present to the court if need be.

Good luck in trying to "clean everything" up.........

Minny

[BassBoy]

The truth shall set you free

Attorneys do not like surprises. And besides (and according to the advice from my atty), if you fail to tell the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, you could run the risk of having your case dismissed.

Best of luck to you.

[sunshine08]

Attorney's hear it all, there is very seldom anything that surprises them, except something kept from them and that they DO NOT like. He probably has already guessed it. Being separated is nothing to be ashamed of, hopefully getting all this cleared up will make the situation better, if it doesn't it will be easier for you to financially alone. Not trying to give out marriage advice either but debt shouldn't be a reason for a marriage to break up, that is not the basis of the problem, it might be the straw that broke the camel's back.
Good luck.

[concerned]

Thanks everyone. My attorney is aware that my husband has been staying at night with his parents, which is true. My husband does see our son daily and usually eats dinner with us. I will be completely upfront with the attorney. He is calling today so wish me luck!

Does anyone know a web site where I can look up what you are allowed for certain expenses under the new repayment plan?

[StaciMM]

If you do a search here for 'Means Test' you should be able to find a post from last week that has a good link. THe post was from RickD. You can plug in your info, the site is still in progress so doesn't count things such as medical expenses, student loans, etc. (THose would be counted at actual even under the new laws I understand.)