Can't stop paying!!! Support needed

[NeilBurnside]

People always say they meant well when they are behaving their poorest.

It's not like people reach this decision without agonizing over it for a long long time. This forum is proof of it.

[BKCat09]

Even my BF, who does not pay his own debts, never contributed much but liked the life my business had made possible, told me back in April, when I asked his advice: "Oh no, it's horrible, don't do it! Figure out something else, you are a smart girl, find another way" What way?! I have been thinking and searching for months, day and night. I am good in calculations, I know when it's over. I waited too long, actually. I followed his advice, paid all bills yet again, and we barely made it through. I am not asking him this time.
I hope stigma around BK will change somehow after the crisis.

[NeilBurnside]

1. You are making the best decision for you, with the facts you have to deal with.

2. I have met people who went into business for themselves, lost everything, declared bankruptcy, got back onto their feet, and are now quite successful.

3. You said there is a stigma. Not in business and not in this current business climate. Also, you are not required to share your private affairs with everyone. Tell your friends that if they want to remain your friend, you better not hear about them discussing them with anyone else.

[AfraidOfBK]

do not feel guilty, the cc companies dont care about you anyway...i had two of my really good cards, one with a high balance where im always on time and one that was completely paid off, never late wither....

well both these cards contacted me last month (Thankfully I already realized BK was my only answer) and said they were wither raising my interest rate from 7 % to 13.25% (that was Bank of America) and the Amex was reducing my credit limit significantly.

Both companies said that these were simply cost cutting measures that they needed to take given the current economic crisis. it apparently had nothing to do with my credit 9nothing has reported yet anyway, so i know my credit is still in 700s) and was completely random.

This made me realize that if it wasnt one thing - its another....and even if i tried and tried to get out of debt i could never afford the minimum payments on 7% let alone almost double that!

I wouldn't feel badly, you are making the decision based on lifetime events, and this will be a business move for your family. I finally decided it was better for my family to eat than to give all of my money to a dumb house that I wasnt planning on living in forever anyway.

BUT i do have a ????? - i know i need to have bank statements available, and per the advice of StartingOver, I have been saving them to my hard drive for months. BUT - do i need to save my credit card statements too?? Why?

[StartingOver08]

I had to supply 3 yrs of cc statements. Some people do not have to supply any. Most have to supply somewhere in between, like the last 6 mths.

Jessiegirl had to supply 2 yrs but could not get all the statements because ...well read her posts and you will see.

[BKCat09]

I want to save 2 years just to be on the safe side. And yes, my CCs, too, started cutting down credit lines to existing balances several months ago, one after another. I've still had good rates, but my score went down, when instead of keeping balances below 1/3-1/2 of available credit I suddenly found myself almost maxed out.

[Kansas1960]

How about this dumb question?????

People say to download your statements. I have tried but don't know how to do it. Any advice?

[Cheeseater]

I tried to stop paying this month but i am too having difficulty with it. Citi called today and offered to cut my payments to 1% of the balance and reduce the rate to 0% this is after 29 days late. Citi was very pleasant too bad they only account for 7K of 115K. Discover called after being late 4 days demanded payment and offered to report me to the credit bureau. I also stopped paying 1 of my bofa cards with a 19k balance that is 30 days and haven't heard from them yet. I have 4 more bofa cards and an amex that I won't pay starting this month if I have the nerve. Just as aside I received a letter from Bofa telling me they were reducing the limit on one card from 20,100 to 19,700. This on top of the previous reduction from 48k limit to 20,100 just above the balance. You've gotta love these jokers.

[OregonMom]

Speaking of guilt...I got railroaded by neighbors last night. The guy was a friend of ours that noticed our "new" used truck that we purchased to replace the one that has to go back. We bit the bullet and explained that we planned to file and let the house and trucks go. He seemed cool about it and invited us to dinner to meet his wife who was in from out of town. Their intention was to drill us about why we shouldn't do it and how the housing market will come back and we most likely have some underlying issue as to why we have to file. .

Are you sure they wanted to grill you? When we reluctantly told friends, family or co-workers what we were doing, they wanted to know about it because they thought about filing but were afraid to do so. We shared our experience and some have done it while others are still waiting it out. Maybe your neighbors are in the same boat and you just don't know it. I personally know 4 people who have done it this last year and one who is thinking about it.

[OregonMom]

When I first stopped paying the CC and house payment I made myself so sick I missed over a week of work and the doctors couldn't figure out what was wrong. I even ended up at the hospital for a CT scan since there was no explanation why my stomach pains wouldn't go away. Figured it out later as STRESS!! Once I stopped paying and realized I was getting my fresh start I was able to relax. Only 30 more days until I should be discharged.

[Cheeseater]

I have been reviewing my credit reports, never a late payment in 15 years.5 mortgages never a late payment always a good Joe Debtor. I stopped smoking 8 years ago I just came inside and feel light headed from having one. I've felt less stress being shot at, I have never felt such a lack of control in my life.
I too find the stigma attached to personal BK ridiculous in comparison to corporate BK. I just want to get my family through this.

[LuciluS]

9/08 I faxed our income and our expenses to a debt collection agency. He called us back & told us he couldn't help. We needed to see a Bankruptcy Attorney.

We met with Bankruptcy Attorney that next week and the first thing he said was Stop Paying Your Credit Cards. He told us if we gave him $300 we could give the CCs' plus Collection Agencies his name, address & phone number.
There was one credit card (Crap One) that I had made a balance transfer to get a lower rate on and he told me to make 3 payments and to add a little bit to the minimum payment.

We have not filed Yet. Most of our CCs' are now with Collection Agencies. I met with our Attorney in January and he said don't answer the phone or return their phone calls if they leave a message. In other words, Ignore Them.

We are filing on 9/30/09 (small town & Attorney files last day of month) based on April-August 09 income. We had to wait for some income to drop off.

We've gotten 2 letters from CCs and 1 from a collection Agency. Attorney said ignore them. If they do file suit against us, he will file something to delay it until we are able to file.

Hubby found this forum in Oct.08 (I think). I've spent hours reading posts and using the 'Search' button. This forum is where I found out some monies I was receiving from ex-husband would be income and had we filed we would most likely be in a Chapter 13. Attorney missed that info on the spreadsheet I gave him at initial consultation.

I no longer have the crying fits, depression or knots in my stomach even tho we haven't filed. Why? Because I've learned so much from this forum, I feel very confident our Chapter 7 will be a smooth bankruptcy. I've spent hours on finding figures for our Asset side (furniture, appliances, etc.) using Craigslist, Ebay & just using Google. I've printed many pages to substantiate (sp?) our figures if Trustee asks. I've got 6 yrs. worth of Bank Statements, Sales & Purchases of Homes, Credit Card Statements & Tax Returns.

So with that said, Please Stop Paying Your Credit Cards IF You Are Absolutely Sure You Are Going to File Bankruptcy! You are throwing away Your Money which I'm sure you could find many, many necessities to spend that money.


Luci

[queenfluff]

Queenfluff, your posts were amongst ones that helped me understand that I am not being irresponsible and not alone, and that bad things do happen to good people. thank you!
I guess, it's just hard for me to give up. I am not a quitter, and if there were a remote chance to lift my business out of the ruins I would keep fighting. I can't help but thinking what if tomorrow some business opportunity comes across, and I won't be able to use it because what business can exist without credit and my credit history will be killed. It's hard to think about hanging on brink of poverty for who knows how long.
I hope, though, when the first step is made I will be able to focus, mobilize and act, instead of being paralized with fear and guilt.
Thank you again!

Thanks! You made my day! I am so glad my posts are helping someone out.

BK makes you feel useless enough as it is - except you DO start becoming sort of expert on it, going through the whole thing - so knowing you can help new people out on here is great though. Giving others support makes two people feel better.

I did the same thing but with jobs - I kept thinking "I'll get the next job" or some magical opportunity will pop up somewhere. I started to panic when I knew I only had money left to pay the bills for a few more months and no money coming in.

[ease]

Thanks! You made my day! I am so glad my posts are helping someone out.

BK makes you feel useless enough as it is - except you DO start becoming sort of expert on it, going through the whole thing - so knowing you can help new people out on here is great though. Giving others support makes two people feel better.

I did the same thing but with jobs - I kept thinking "I'll get the next job" or some magical opportunity will pop up somewhere. I started to panic when I knew I only had money left to pay the bills for a few more months and no money coming in.

BTDT. Dh and I should have declared BK 2 or 3 years ago. We just were so sure our business would massively expand or the next business opp would be the answer. Not to place blame but DH resisted even hearing the word when I would bring up BK.
Once our interest rates on some cards were tripled and quadrupled, he felt the CC companies broke "the rules."
Our lawyer helped us to diffuse the emotions and see BK as a practical business decision.
The emotions need to be acknowledged but BK is not an emotional decision. It is a business decision.
Like you, BKCat, we were very current on all our minimums. We quit paying right after our initial consultation. About a month to 6 weeks later, we payed the lawyer and gave the CC companies his number. We never had a nasty CA call. We used that 6 weeks to restructure our banking, compile the paperwork get our budget on track to live without CC's.

[denisejohn65]

My lawyer did not ask me to get copies of cc statements.I hope I won't need those. We filed June 12th 09 Or any reciepts for drawing money out of my bk account for living expenses.