I saw a doctor and a different life

[sjcmCA]

I know it would be inappropriate thread in this forum but I just want to share this. (Sorry)

I had to see a doctor today due to high stress and anxiety.

I have met several lawyers and found an experienced one but I am still getting a lot of stress from BK process.

I just stopped all payments except cars and student loans and will file BK in December. However, I am still getting a lot of stress....'what if my case is declined, what if creditors sue me before I file, how can I handle all collections calls, what if I end up with chapter 13....."

Another thing is that I can see some balances in my bank accounts. I haven't seen this for a long time. All incomes were gone to credit cards, mortgages, tax, HOA, insurances, etc.

Ironically, it makes me nerverous, I mean "balance in my accounts".

I have never thought of filing BK but I had to accept my situation.

The doctor gave me a medicine to relieve my stresses today. Are you all having these types of stresses before filing BK?

Sleepless nights.......

[liz417]

Yes, I think we've all been there for the most part. When I 1st thought of BK, I saw an attorney, talk about stress! I hired him that day (I was pretty desperate) and then found this wonderful site. There are soooo many knowledgeable people on this board, I read everything I could about BK and that helped my ease my mind tremendously. I didn't file until a year later, by the time my 341 came, I wasn't neverous at all I think it was because I KNEW what to expect Hang in there, you will realize that this (BK) is just a process and you'll wonder why you were so nervous!!

[AngelinaCat]

Dear sjcmCA: This thread is VERY appropriate. The stress of the debts that lead each and every person or couple to consider BK is very deleterious to one's health. And any kind of comfort or reassurance, after all the guilt trips you have embarked upon does release pent-up emotion. And that is normal and natural.

When we had our initial consult with our attorney, who told us that filing BK would stop the harassing lawsuits against us by an enemy, we ('Hub and I) burst out in tears in her office. She was nonplussed. There is more to the story, but that is all for now.

I will admit that I am on very light doses of antidepressants. But we are doing better and are living on a cash basis. The problem now is that the cash does not come in as fast as it has to go....

My very best wishes go to you~~~

[desertgrl74]

I've been stressed almost to the point I thought I was really going to lose it!! I thought, what have I done to myself?! But, we will get through it! It's an uphill battle and I've had a lot of stumbles along the way. Big ones, and now I feel like I've fallen flat on my face, BUT I'm still getting back up and working it! I am determined to get this behind me. Considering I got divorced 2 and a half years ago, and I am now forclosing and just filed chp 7. And still trying to graduate with my b.s. degree. Which, I should've graduated with 3 yrs ago, BUT I'm still determined to get it! A lot of my family say I should should just move back home and leave everything. But, you know. I need that degree and as soon as I get it, I'm going to save, get an apartment, get a better job either where I'm at now or back home. It's sooo hard! I never thought I'd be at this place...but I try my hardest. That's all we can do. But, learn from our mistakes. I even learned a few things from the 2nd credit counseling I did. And I plan on implementing goals and saving. I wish everyone the best and my mom always says things can only get better. Which, I find hard to believe....but I think I see the light at the end of tunnel!

[KittyisBroke]

While I did not get on anti depressants, I eventually did get sleeping pills because I just could not sleep at night. The stress and worry were keeping me awake. Now that we have filed (6/27/09) it is much better. Hang in there and just remember, everyone on this forum has been there and most come out just fine. Take care of your self!

[brokeasajoke]

I decided to file around 6/15/2009. We filed 7/31. In that time, I think I slept 3 hours per night, lost 15 pounds (I typically weigh 150, got down to about 135 or so...) It was gut wrenching... Anyway, once I filed, the relief was almost instant. It took me about a week to get back to normal sleep (6 hours or so a night) and I've gained 9 pounds. I had a constant back ache, it's gone now as well. The physical toll was unexpected. I still have my worrisome days but by and large, I've started living my life again and looking towards the future.

The "slogans" of BK are true, "relief" & "fresh start" hold true meaning for me and my family. My wife went grocery shopping yesterday, I didn't even ask what she spent, she spent cash that was designated for "groceries" that we had budgeted. Before, I'd worry all day about the shopping trip. Little things like that, you just don't think about when you're going broke, taking a physical toll on you. It's not concentrated the way BK is, but for me, that worry being lifted is worth the struggles of BK.

It does get better, at least it has for me and I know for others on this forum as well...

[sjcmCA]

Your (True Neighbors') sincere comments reminded me of what the experienced attorney told me yesterday.

"You are not alone...!"

School principals, Teachers, Doctors, (even) Attorneys, Cops, Fire Fighters, Government Employees, Engineers, Business men,......he briefly mentioned those who filed BK recently....

I now think that this is a true life. Sometimes good but sometimes bad..but thing is how to admit and accept this situation positively and make this a NEW opportunity.

Yes, I need a "Fresh Start". I will be standing firm and share all my experiences when all BK processes are done sometime next year.

Thanks for all your nice comments and consideration. You are truly good neighbors.

[ForumReader]

To the OP, I am glad you started this thread. Like Angelinacat said, it is very much an appropriate thread for this forum. For me personally, going through the BK process has been much more stressful with sleepless nights and lots of worrying than going through a divorce of mine. I went to see my doctor and she asked me if I needed something to help me get through all this, but I am already taking enough medication for my other health conditions (thyroid) so I try to exercise, find soothing ways to sleep at night and my kids keep me busy. The paralegal who works for my attorney recommended this forum at the time of the initial consult so I am thankful for this forum.

Best wishes to you all with your BK processes and think positive with the right attitude

[mom2three09]

You are SO not alone! I thought the stress would kill me ...that's how bad it was I had to resort to taking anti-anxiety meds too.. or I would have never made it this far. I have to say the anxiety about the 341 meeting was the worst for me. Once we made it past that point the anxiety of the whole BK process eased up a lot. Now I'm just counting down the days to discharge (30 days to go!)... once that day arrives I'll be SOOO relieved.

[JRScott]

Everyone experiences stress in the process. The period before filing was the most stressful for myself.

First if you just stopped paying the credit cards I find it highly unlikely they'd sue you before you file in December. Remember that some of that money building up will be eat up by the lawyer, but also make sure to stock your cupboard where you might have been skimping before.

I found a lot of relief once I got filed.

[miozelous]

I am glad that you posted this. I have been stressed out!!! I had such a bad panic attack before we filed, that I thought I was having a heart attack. Even after filing in August I still get them. At least I know what it is. Things are still hetic and crazy, but soon they will be over and my family will have a fresh start. Keep looking on the bright side, things will be fine.

[momisery]

Almost 60 and after decades of perfect credit and money in the bank I am DEPRESSED.. yes. But I do not believe in taking meds, so I am just out walking and talking to nature. I don't know that I feel much better after filing. The difference is that I not feel I am going BK for sure, before at least I had some hope??? Okay, maybe I didn't but in my pea brain I did. Ha ha. While the walking helps, I think nothing will take the pain away of being totally destroy at such an old age except maybe time. Nothing I can do about it, so I have to learn to live with it, there are no other options.

[Floridagail]

Momisery
I can only tell you I feel so much better after my case was over. I too was 60 this year. I have paid for over 40yrs these stupid cc bills. they got their money. My working days are over and noway will I let the cc companies control my life a day longer. I feel such a since of relief. Keep up your head high , Feel no guilt or pain.

[music12]

there is a lot of fear and stress involved. but, just hang in there. it will get better.

[killinstinct]

YOU ARE NOT ALONE. These emotions are perfectly normal and to be expected. In the months leading up to filing I would cry incessantly and could hardly get out of bed. The phone ringing with collection calls put my anxiety through the roof. And this was with medication...I went to my doctor and he doubled it, which helped a bit.

Just know it does get better. Since I filed, it has been smooth sailing! So far it's one of the best things I've ever done for myself. We didn't BK intentionally, stuff just happens. Now we can move forward....

Once you find an attorney you like you have to trust them. When they say not to worry, you're golden, take their word for it. I still worried and it was for no reason. As my wife said, "we pay the attorney to worry for us". Should have taken that to heart.

You're in the worst part now, in my opinion. Just know you'll make it through.