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    Can this be over already . . .

    This has been the hardest thing in my life that I have ever had to go thru and in a way I should be thankful that my family doesn't have to deal with worse things. . . . . But this is really getting to me and I am tired of all of it! We have came to realize we are in a very bad financial downfall with one income . . .a pay decrease . . . living expenses increasing . . . student loan payments going up . . . deferments ending . . . and medical and dental bills it has just all added up into one big hunk of a mess. I guess I am always a worrying wanda and a negative Nancy but my life has become public and I am not dealing with this well.

    In December my husband and I realized that this whole debt mess is running and ruining our lives. And we made a committment that in January we would take control. We had tried other ways in the past such as a Debt Management Program and that really wasn't getting us any where with everything we had. We had decided we were going to surrender two payments back to the bank which were our truck and a travel trailer. It was a hard decision but we had to do something. We had not even thought of Bankruptcy we were just going to face the whole bad side of voluntary reposeessions. When we started looking into it we were getting scared of defiency balances . . . wage garnishments . . . frozen bank accounts. It was more of a big mess than what we had expected. Then we started researching bankruptcy. At the end of January we met with a BK Attorney and put down our payment to start our BK journey.

    It has been a very rough road since Valentines day. I had explained before in an older post about that whole repo experience and surrendering our truck. It has become a very difficult time for us because for one we are in a small town and now we are the towns biggest talk and we have people asking on a daily basis . . we heard you got your truck repo'd. . . I just hate having people asking us such personal questions and one of these days I am going to explode and prolly say some pretty mean things to the questioners. How can people be so mean and have no heart. I guess I am a better person than most because in no bad day would I ever hear of some random persom getting their vehicle repod and then walk up to them and ask them. What kind of person does that? Well I have learned its actually allot of people. Not only that but now the place were we store our "repo'd" trailer has heard because they called us yesterday and told my husband they heard we no longer have the trailer and want to get our spot back. I just can't believe this stuff that should stay in the privacy of your home is out in the open and it is peoples daily gossip. It has been hard on me dealing with such ignorant people. Then right now I had a knock on my door and it was a guy from town who I know in a round about way he was married to my friends ex-wife . . . well you get the picture but he brought me a piece of mail and said sorry but I accidently opened your mail, oh so it was a credit card letter saying we were no longer in their DMP program so now our mail is going public. I just dont know how much more I can take. Every grocery store aisle I go down someone asks did you guys get rid of your truck . . . Oh I heard you guys dont have your truck or your trailer no more . . . the word on the street is your truck got repo'd . . . . AWWWWWW . . . . I seriously just want to scream. And no you nosey people our truck did not get repo'd we gave it back to the bank if you really want to know the truth!!! Watch out because now you have one p'd off momma!!!

    My husband talked to the attorney yesterday they are preparing our petition and will have it completed by the deadline of the 18th . . . so the end is sorta near we still are unsure if we are into a 7 or a 13, but I am just ready for this to be over already!! How do you deal with the ignorant people who are always in everyones business?

    #2
    I am so sorry - I can not imagine how much more stressful this whole thing must be for you with people knowing. It's one thing for you to know that other people may know, but it's a whole other game when they actually start asking you to your face! I think you should come up with some sort of response that you can start telling everyone that asks from here on out. I remember seeing some posts in regards to this, so you may want to do a little searching around the boards. Maybe you could completely ignore them or just change the subject entirely. Try to confuse them so they'll just walk away?

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      #3
      If they want to pay your bill then tell them you'll be more than happy to discuss it with them.

      Otherwise, MYOB!
      Attorney Retained/Paid: 1-4-10
      Online CCC-Completed & Cert Received: 1-8-10
      Filed Chapter 7 1-18-10.
      341 3-10-10 ~~~ Last Day to Object: 5-10-10

      Comment


        #4
        Thanks for your response! Yes it is very hard. I feel like I don't even want to go out of the house but I have 3 small kids and we have plenty of things to get done and its soo hard for me to stay strong and not let people know anything is bothering me. It's not just me they ask, they ask my husband at work, they ask my brother, they ask my sister, they ask my mother, they ask my father . . . what is next they ask my kids? It has really gotten to me. My husband is allot stronger person than I am and he doesnt let it bother him but I know it bothers him he just doesnt show it.

        I guess I will have to pull a Peyton Manning during the superbowl I seen an interview that said if anyone of the reporters would say anything bad about his brother Eli he would find out "juicy stuff on them and call them out when asking him difficult questions" I thought that was a good way to handle my situation haha. I live in the small town too and a few of these people that have gotten into our business I have heard stuff about them in the past. So maybe if they want to get my amazed reaction when they ask me off the wall random personal questions maybe I should pull the payback card out and ask them a very personal question about their soo perfect life . . . but then again! I am not that kind of person I dont feed off of other peoples lives I live in my own! Sorry for venting!! Hope everyone has a better day than I am having!!

        Comment


          #5
          It's pretty simple Tight...

          Next time somebody mentions your finances you say...

          "Well I had to file for Bankruptcy because of that court judgement against me for putting that lousy no-good SOB who couldn't stay out of my business in the hospital."

          Don't forget to add, "And I SURE wouldn't hesitate to do it again!"

          Comment


            #6
            IMO, If you act uncomfortable, stumble over your words, or try to offer up excuses, it just makes you sound like you're guilty of something--WHICH YOU'RE NOT!

            I have personally found that taking the higher road, and saying something like "yeah, we're really struggling. Will you please pray for us?" tends to throw people off, and they'll often leave you alone about it after that.

            If you REALLY want to unsettle them, grab them by the hands right there in the grocery store and say "will you pray WITH me?" They'll try to get away from you as fast as they can....lol.
            Filed Chapter 13 on 2-28-10. 341 completed 4/14/10. Confirmed 5/14/10. Lien strip granted 2/2/11
            0% payback to unsecured creditors, 56 payments down, 4 to go....

            Comment


              #7
              I feel for you as we are going through the exact same situation!!! We live in a pretty smally city and everyone talks!!! When we go to church we are confronted as well with questions which dont concern them! (you would think christian go-ers would be more sympathetic... they are worse!) I am tired of everyone being so nosey and rude that I dont want to go anywhere or do anything anymore because I am tired of being confronted!! We filed on 2-3-10 and our 341 is on 3-16-10 and am looking forward for this to all be over with! We have lost everything... but that wasnt the hard part. The hard part is all the confrontations and embarrasments!

              Comment

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