Do your close friends know your BK?

[StaciMM]

Ironically-I'm the one in my family who filed yet I'm perhaps the one who made the responsible decision. My siblings tend to avoid their financial issues. (Though in defense of my brother, the past year has turned his life upside down and he is busy getting a grasp on his family issues!)

[newday]

My s/o knows. He and I talked about it in great length, what it would mean for me and what it would mean for us in the future. He's listened to my fears and doubts and never made me feel like a failure or a criminal, even though I myself have spiraled down the self hate. I told my younger sister, because she's in college and just beginning to use credit and I wanted to warn her of how it can get out of hand and literally ruin your life. I told my older sister because I tell her everything, and she expressed some disapointment and judgement, but I had to remind her that me helping finance her college education helped me get into this situation and she turned a bit more supportive. Everyone else in my family would be so angry/sad that I left them out of the loop. High expectations / low support. meh.

[bkfiler]

wanna throw a thought out there for folks to think about.

you dont need to tell anyone except your spouce. why should you. its none of their business. it doesnt effect them. touch them. concern them in any way. all they will do is pass judgement one way or the other. and what does that bring you. nothing. the bk still moves forward regardless.

do you know how much money they have left in the bank account before they get they get their next check? you would be suprised.

do they tell you their financial problems when they have them? no. so what makes you think you should tell them yours.

its you who feels bad about a bk. and you shouldnt. bk is just a set of laws to help people that went to far or got into a situation that awill ruin them for their entire remaining life if they were not able to get out of it.

if they were to really truely think about it, wouldnt they rather have you in a better financial situation so that you could live a happier life instead. if they are really a loved one wouldnt they rejoice that you in a perverted sense 'got away with not paying your bills' and are lucky enough to start living a more normal balanced life again? yes they would.

i stand my ground and say they do not know better. they do not understand bk. and it is none of their business. is it?

i hope this helps someone out there worrying about it. do yourself a favor and relieve yourself of the pressure of thinking you have to tell people.

you tell someone if you need emotional help getting through it. otherwise its none of their damn business.

[bkfiler]

kinda like its no ones damn business why im wearing this latex suit right now either.

[StaciMM]

Bkfiler-you're right that no should be obligated to discuss w/ family/friends. But alot of people discuss EVERYTHING with certain family/friends and there is nothing wrong with doing so if you want to.

BK should not be treated like a deep, dark secret. (Unlike the latex suit...)

[bkfiler]

you miss the point. and its the same issue as telling people about the latex suit. they wont understand and will look at you differently from now on without good reason.

you dont tell people things they dont understand. you dont need to tell them. it does you no good. in general do they tell you that they are down to nothing in their account and they got bank charges backing up against a negataive balance every time it happens. no. why dont they?

[sunshine08]

Ya know except for those many like Lightening, it wouldn't be so bad. People in general are extremely judgemental. WE ARE ALL GUILTY of it, just to different extremes I guess. It is especially prevalent if there is a bias or prejudice about a particular issue.
We have a different opinion on BK, because we understand our reason for filing and can empathisize with others. We need to remember that in the future, when faced with opinions that differ from ours. (NOTE: WITH THE EXCEPTION OF GROSSSSS PICTURES)

[StaciMM]

And some people are ignorant about bankruptcy. (Not an attack-the definition of the word is a lack of knowledge.)

[sunshine08]

You Would Be Correct.

[Minnymouth]

bk,
WHY DID YOU MESS UP JIM'S AVATAR????

Looked great till you messed with it..............

[StaciMM]

Because he got in trouble for messing w/ my dd's. I'm surprised he hasn't altered yours Minny!

[Mysocalledlyf]

No one knows about mine except my mom and sister...I'm not going to go into details but I live a very active social life...sometimes it really is hell not having people know the real you,(in that I mean the problems I have with money).... But I totally take the attitude of BKFiler....You can't talk to or tell someone about something they don't understand.

Hence the name...Mysocalledlyf

You know, the one thing Im so afraid of right now, this might seem strange...but getting married and meeting the guy of my dreams. I feel like Im going to be so embarrassed about it and "he" won't want to marry me or anyone would want to be with someone who filed Bk. B/C honestly of course the person you're with will want to get a home with you or maybe a car, just be financially secure. I feel awful about that.
Any single fellows or ladies with me on that? Do you guys think you're pretty much garnished from the opposite sex b/c of this?

[bkfiler]

are you kidding? no way.

id much rather marry someone that has just filed bk then someone that didnt.

how many of you knew what deep sh*t your better half was in before you already got wrapped in sex, love, children and marriage?

how many of you new how 'good', and i use that term jokingly, those you married were dealing with their finances?

ill take you over anyone else anyday. no questions asked.

i can control your finances if i had to. and if i was worried about that then i would know how to control it as well.

[BassBoy]

At first, I only told my three best friends. No matter what has ever happened, they have always stood by me and have backed me up......no questions asked and no judging me. They told me that I will see this through and that are they there for me whenever I need them.

I tried hard to keep it from my family, but eventually, it came out. Moms' are smart and my mom just knew something wasn't right with me. I could only take so much asking and it just came out.

When my family first found out, I was embarrased about it. Hell, I didn't even want to go to Thanksgiving or Christmas dinner. I just wanted to stay home in order to avoid the shame and guilt. Not to mention, the whispering in the corners. But my family was very supportive, for the most part. My aunt's and uncle's first words to us was that they were very sorry that this has happened and if there was anything we needed, they were there for us. But I think my parents took it pretty hard. They didn't ask much about it at first because I think they were very uncomfortable. I could tell when the subject came up (and I wish they would stop asking about it already), I could see the uncomfortable feeling they had about it. Don't get me wrong, I believe they are sympathetic, but I just have this feeling that I was being judged all of the time.

Now that I have had the opportunity to enlighten them (or should I say, faught like hell to get them to understand) about what "today's BK ways" are, I think their feeling better about the whole thing.

[Mysocalledlyf]

ill take you over anyone else anyday. no questions asked.

Thank you for that BKfiler! That definitely made me feel better!

Question for you..when's your birthday? you can just tell me month and day!

okay..Im a little into the astrology thing..there was something else you wrote that brought on a little admiration, so now Im curious what sign you are!