Which part is the nightmare?

[Fallonedward]

this situation is certainly a ride on a roller coaster of emotions!! just to say the least.

for us the nightmare was NOT losing the home we lived in for 33 years...it was packing it up! of course we were downsizing from approx 4500 sq ft of house to homeless....so that did present a bit of a quandary...and i can pretty much say it was a nightmare!!!!

Tobee, every time I read this post of yours, it makes me stop and ponder that my life is pretty good. I now have a fresh start and once hubby gets employed we will have the ability to start our emergency fund again since it got depleted during our year of unemployment.

[nicole1969]

The idea that we will be free and clear and out of debt and that any money we make will go to our SAVINGS to build our future and not to creditors when this is over is VERY powerful and extremely uplifting for my husband and I. Knowing this has helped us get through everything fairly easily so far. I am not happy we got in this sitatution but once I found out about the bankruptcy option as a way to getting out of this mess, I was elated that there was something we could do to have a fresh start. I was super excited especially yesterday after we filed and have been on cloud 9 for 24 hours.

[winterheart]

Check out these threads:

http://www.bkforum.com/showthread.php?61383-Use-Google-voice-to-help-you-with-creditors

http://www.bkforum.com/showthread.php?63686-Best-solution-ever-to-collections-calls

There may be more, do a quick search on the forum

Even better now you can port your number to google voice and truly just ignore everything. When we started this whole journey back in December a couple of months before we stopped paying we did just that and it was a Godsend. It pretty much filtered everything down to nothing. You can also setup groups for known numbers and rules to go with them. I can't recommend it enough to make the time before you file much more peaceful.

[dasherkin]

for me it was getting served non stop

[researchnerd]

Can you please explain to me how to do that? It sounds like such a blessing, can't take the phone ringing anymore and there's never even anyone on the other end... I am trying to set up Google Voice but so far it only tells me how to send calls to my home phone... I'm not very tech savvy

Check out these threads:

http://www.bkforum.com/showthread.php?61383-Use-Google-voice-to-help-you-with-creditors

http://www.bkforum.com/showthread.php?63686-Best-solution-ever-to-collections-calls

There may be more, do a quick search on the forum

[fatjay]

The nightmare for us was the realization that the worst case scenario would come true if we didn't take swift and decisive action. We found ourselves with a pregnancy scare without insurance because we couldn't afford it. Two months later we filed. I've always said, when the need to strike arises, do so with overwhelming and devastating force. That's what BK is to creditors.

+1 to that...I found that treating this situation like it was somebodies elses life makes it easier to deal with...I am trying to treat it like a business decission and not something that goes against everything I believe...this entire thing is a nightmare in my opinion....eventhough I will come out alive and better for it...I still dont like it

[keepsmiling]

debee, thank you so much for your kind comment. It hasn't been an easy road, but there are many people here who are in much worse situations than I am. I am so grateful for what I do have (great family, my job, health) that focusing on what's gone seems pointless. And I love your signature line!

pikaroth, you may not want to tell creditors that you are planning to file BK before you actually file and have a case number. Others have posted here that doing that made some creditors file judgments right away instead of waiting and negotiating. Get Google Voice (free) and send all unknown calls directly to voicemail. If you have to talk to them, I'd just tell them you are having trouble keeping up for whatever reason, you intend to pay them as soon as you can, but can't do it right now. That should buy you a little time. When you do file, yes, just give them your attorney's phone number and the case number if they ask for it.

Can you please explain to me how to do that? It sounds like such a blessing, can't take the phone ringing anymore and there's never even anyone on the other end... I am trying to set up Google Voice but so far it only tells me how to send calls to my home phone... I'm not very tech savvy

[CoBelle]

Wow...there is a lot of pain but also a lot of hope on this thread. I am so sorry to those who lost their dreamhomes. I can only hope that there are better things down the road for all of us.

I was about to have my home sold in a not-at-penis-length transaction (ahem: 'friend' of ex) at a price that would have left me with nada. So I HAD to file before the sale date.
The worst was trying to find a lawyer who would do a 13, then finding and paying one and having her say she couldn't do it 2 days before the sale...I bout had a stroke over that. There was enormous relief in finding someone at the 12th hour and getting it filed the afternoon before the day of sale.

I was feeling pretty good in my 13 until last Wednesday when it was dismisssed for a sham of a reason. And having the Receivver show up at the door with a sheriff trying to evict me even though the house isn't in arrears...just ex again.
Filing the 7 on Monday was a bit of a relief, but this is unknown territory and I might be facing a loss of the stay....so I don't feel 'relieved' as yet. Back to looking for lawyers in all the wrong places.....

I guess the high point was at the 341 when ex's lawyer came off as a real jerk and when I gave ex the finger on the way out the door!!!!!!

[tobee43]

The nightmare for me was all of the endless phone calls to my house, cell phones, and relatives. Also, filing pro se was and is scary mostly because I don't like the unknown. I was so unsure of myself while filling out all that paperwork, but felt so accomplished once I filed it. This process has it's ups and downs, but I'm hanging in there because I see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Let me say this though, coming here everyday and asking questions and getting advice from a group of caring people who understand completely what I'm going through is amazing.

amen to that mom...i really don't know how many of us would have made it....

[mommi2many]

The nightmare for me was all of the endless phone calls to my house, cell phones, and relatives. Also, filing pro se was and is scary mostly because I don't like the unknown. I was so unsure of myself while filling out all that paperwork, but felt so accomplished once I filed it. This process has it's ups and downs, but I'm hanging in there because I see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Let me say this though, coming here everyday and asking questions and getting advice from a group of caring people who understand completely what I'm going through is amazing.

[researchnerd]

debee, thank you so much for your kind comment. It hasn't been an easy road, but there are many people here who are in much worse situations than I am. I am so grateful for what I do have (great family, my job, health) that focusing on what's gone seems pointless. And I love your signature line!

pikaroth, you may not want to tell creditors that you are planning to file BK before you actually file and have a case number. Others have posted here that doing that made some creditors file judgments right away instead of waiting and negotiating. Get Google Voice (free) and send all unknown calls directly to voicemail. If you have to talk to them, I'd just tell them you are having trouble keeping up for whatever reason, you intend to pay them as soon as you can, but can't do it right now. That should buy you a little time. When you do file, yes, just give them your attorney's phone number and the case number if they ask for it.

[tobee43]

That's it for me. While I have my attorney, they cannot file until the end of January or early February. The second I decided on BK, as recommended by everyone here and my attorney, I stopped using my credit cards and, of course, stopped paying on them. I've said it a billion (yes, that much!) times, but I've never missed or been late on a payment, not EVER. So this past Friday when my first bill came do, and I did NOT pay it, I was sick to my stomach, disgusted with myself. It got better as the days went on, and I have yet to get a phone call or anything, but I know they are coming. I've been advised to not answer any of their questions save for tell them I'm going through BK and to give them the name and phone number of my attorney. Nevertheless, that part has been hard, even more difficult is knowing I can only sit here and wait until I file. And wait. And wait. It's a hopeless feeling. I wish I could file immediately but, again, I had to go out and use a CC at Publix a week before I met with my attorney, and they advise it has to be at least 90 days CC free before filing.

So, I come here and read posts and post my own stuff for support.

we waited almost 2 years to file.....change your phone number to an unlisted one...if that makes you feel better.....or i'll meet you over at the publix and we can check out the steaks we can't afford to buy anymore...LOL!! (but it HAS to be the one on 27 because it's better than the ones on 50)

you'll do just fine pika!! hang in there!

[pikaroth]

I think the days before we retained an attorney, and this stretch between the filing and the 341 are the worst.

That's it for me. While I have my attorney, they cannot file until the end of January or early February. The second I decided on BK, as recommended by everyone here and my attorney, I stopped using my credit cards and, of course, stopped paying on them. I've said it a billion (yes, that much!) times, but I've never missed or been late on a payment, not EVER. So this past Friday when my first bill came do, and I did NOT pay it, I was sick to my stomach, disgusted with myself. It got better as the days went on, and I have yet to get a phone call or anything, but I know they are coming. I've been advised to not answer any of their questions save for tell them I'm going through BK and to give them the name and phone number of my attorney. Nevertheless, that part has been hard, even more difficult is knowing I can only sit here and wait until I file. And wait. And wait. It's a hopeless feeling. I wish I could file immediately but, again, I had to go out and use a CC at Publix a week before I met with my attorney, and they advise it has to be at least 90 days CC free before filing.

So, I come here and read posts and post my own stuff for support.

[debee]

I'm sorry you lost a home you loved, researchnerd. I hope in the future the two of you have a new dream come true & a new home that you come to love even more.

[researchnerd]

The most difficult part of the whole process, for me, was losing our home. We'd only lived there a couple of years, but we truly put our hearts (and lots of hard work) into our simple little house with a barn, on five acres of pasture. From the day DH and I met, it had been our shared dream, and we really thought we'd realized it. Even when DH got laid off, we thought we'd be able to keep it going, but when the layoff turned into longterm unemployment, we had to let it go. Moving (and re-homing 45 chickens) was a pain, but it was harder just to...not be there any more.

The creditor calls sucked, and communication with our attorney has been a challenge. Having an AP filed at the last minute was disappointing. But since we filed, I think the most difficult part has been the waiting -- for discharge, foreclosure, and repo of my car. We just want it all to be over and done so we can move on.