Nervous, Getting ready to file

[Jacey]

I am missing my first credit card payment today, and I'm miserable. My body has rebelled, I'm nervous and can't concentrate on anything else. I have a perfect credit report with years of good habits in making payments, but I'm about to go off the grid. After losing a high paying job in October, 2009 I have been working at a great job that pays half of the old wages. My husband and I racked up debt while he was in school, not worrying that we wouldn't be able to pay it...I made a lot of money, and he was about to make us some more. The day he started his job, my company closed unexpectedly. I have managed to fight it off for a year, but I just can't anymore. After getting jerked around by misinformation at one attorneys office by a non-attorney, I have found a lawyer and am ready to go once I get some paychecks in to pay the lawyer. I should be filing by the end of this month. I know intellectually that I have to do this, and my brain is OK with it...my nerves, colon, and possibly liver are definitely not okay. Any advice for me? I hate to be a big baby, and I know that there are people on here that are in worse shape than me. I'm worried that my family and/or employer will find out, worried about the phone calls starting, and sorry to be in this shape due to my own poor financial planning.

[panda]

We filed yesterday after waiting three months for everything to clear out on the credit cards. The fist month was the worst and I ended up seeing my doctor and going on Zanax, after about two weeks I was more calm and able to think through things better.

The phone calls were terrible and we tried answering them every five days for the first two months, this last month I just quit answering the phone.

I wanted to keep the creditors happy enough to not send things off to collections before we filed, and up until this morning the original creditors are still calling.

I am not happy about any of this, but we had to make a decision after two years of trying everything under the sun to get back on our feet after our business failed, including refinancing our home, which we may still lose due to the high payments we now have on it.

I am ready to move on and we just can't do it with the debt dragging us down, so acceptance does come eventually.

Good luck on your journey, and know you are not alone.

[free2breathe]

You are so not alone. It's a scary feeling when you come to that realization that you've reached that point of last resort. I can't tell you how to get rid of the churning stomach, aching head, frayed nerves, etc. I can tell you that it does get better. Once you file, once you get through the 341, once you let go of the emotion as much as possible and move on to the "it's a business decision that I've had to make", it does get better. I have to tell myself often that it's for the best in the long run.

Just reading through the posts on this forum is a huge help. You will find any number of people feeling the same way you are. Read posts from people who are in the same position as you, from some who are a little further along, and especially some from those who have made it to the other side and are sharing their positive outcomes. Read for tips on how to get through it, how to save money, how to deal with creditor calls. There is so much information and, more importantly to me, so many supportive people here willing to help you through. Hang in there!

It does get better!

[Freddy03]

Since you just missed your first payment and filing at the end of the month - the phone calls shouldn't be to bad I paid my retainer fee already and my attorney lets me give his name and number to the creditors so they can call him instead of me. Is that an option?

Sorry I can't offer any advice on the nerves because I am a wreck

But everyone on here says it gets better so good luck to you

[tcreegan]

sorry to be in this shape due to my own poor financial planning. ....remember it is not your fault the economy tanked !!

You are in good company around here, us and a couple million more...literally..

Tom in Colo

[ccsjoe]

You are definitely not alone. My first missed payment was a major milestone as, like you, we had perfect payment history. Also like you, it was only one month between first missed payment and filing date. The calls were not at all bad, very few, all internal collections (the how can we help you pay type calls) and none to any other numbers than our home or cell. I'd say we got about 5 or 6 calls overall, we bk'd on 8 cards.