Devastated. Just like everyone else finding themselves in bankruptcy. *sigh*

[Freddy03]

Thank you all so much. Your words really mean a lot to me. I will go to San Diego without worry and try to relax.

Some of our expected funds have come through this week so at last, I can pay the remaining balance to our attorney and get our bankruptcy going full steam. I imagine, since its been about five months since I collected all the paperwork, that I'll need to update everything so, still lots to do.

I guess I'm concerned that my doctor will drop me. He's been my doctor for 15 years and is really wonderful and I feel so bad about "skipping out" on him.

You can always pay your Dr after you are discharged. Have fun on your trip!!

[Babybear]

I did my bk in San Diego 15 years ago. It went great. I lived in San Diego for 17 years. I just moved up towards Temecula. This Bk is my mothers. Anyway I know what you mean about the medical issue. We recently put 10k on care credit and will include that in the BK but the way I see it they have been paid by care credit even if I dont end up paying that bill in full. But I am curious as to the responses regarding the other doctors bills because you bring up a good point and one that effects me as well.

[Detroit]

You will feel better every day, although there are still ups and downs. I'm glad you sound so positive.

To make you feel even better and reduce (and even eliminate) most of the calls, make one call to the most recent collection agency for each account. Tell them you've retained an attorney for bankruptcy proceedings and give them the attorney's name and number. You don't need to tell them any more than that, not even which chapter you're filing (I said I wasn't sure, but that the attorney had been wholly retained). It was a little nerve-wracking at first, but after a few, I felt confident - and not a single one called back after I initiated that call. It goes an amazingly long way toward restoring your sanity so you can focus on the road ahead.

I also felt better after finally opening all the mail and organizing it. I didn't read them, just organized them by company - I felt better prepared and more organized, as I'd been letting everything pile up until I made the big decision.

Don't be devastated - you've made a big decision, so move forward! You've taken a beating, but you're still alive. Hope that helps and best wishes!

[bellows321]

History began before January 20, 2001. Take a look at the Community Reinvestment Act signed into law by the worst president in modern history (surpassed only recently by the current titleholder) in 1977. There you will find the beginning of the end in smart lending practices.

Irene, you'll be fine.

OhioFiler beat me to it with that 1977 date being the real start of all this mess. And your feelings will pass. The worst part is getting everything together for filing. Then you do it and take each step at a time: the 341, the 60-90 days post 341 etc. etc. I know I felt tons better after the lawyer actually filed our case.

[researchnerd]

I can't add anything that hasn't already been said, but wanted to let you know you're not alone. There are a lot of us out here who have been through similar things (my DH has been laid off since March 2008) and had to start over. We're here for you!

[discouraged]

Just finished my paperwork and submitted it to my lawyer today. Even though I'd originally planned on filing last September (life got in the way i.e. money), I was amazed at how long it took me to get everything together and copied! And I THOUGHT I was prepared. My biggest hurdle was going through the house one final time to make sure I'd included every asset. I was amazed at some of the things I'd forgotten to add and, in the end I will probably get to keep everything - according to my lawyer - I still feel better that I am not hiding anything and they could walk in and audit anything they wanted and it would still be the same as what I put down. I admit I was anal about the whole thing, but better safe than sorry.

What a relief to get that done!

[owoody]

Good Luck to You my fellow Oregonian..........

[DaddyDavid]

I wish you'd all stop whining.

You have a CONSTITUTIONAL, LEGAL right to file BK. WHY is it OK for millionaires to file, and get even richer, and NOT OK for the working class? What type of COOLAID are you people drinking? It is a BUSINESS decision. It is NOT a crime. It is NOT immoral. STOP this madness and get a grip on the reality, the PURPOSE of why we have BK laws. THEN, and ONLY then, will you be able to clear your mind and focus of GEETING THE BEST BANG out of your filing, to give you the BEST start over in a new LIFE. 'STOP THE MADNESS, PEOPLE!". Best regards~

[discouraged]

It's ingrained in us from early on to pay your bills and pull yourself up by your bootstrap - at least it was when I was growing up. It took for me to see a foreclosure prevention counselor who asked me how I was possibly paying for things while on unemployment and that I had to stop. She then sent me to a financial counselor who told me about the millionaires who'd filed and that I had probably paid my original debt 2x's over and to stop and desist and declare bankruptcy. Prior to that, I just figured I had to pay my bills or the sky would fall or something.

So it is early training and I am so thankful for this forum, where we can talk and ask questions and stop feeling as if we are doing something wrong.

[discombob1]

You have a CONSTITUTIONAL, LEGAL right to file BK. WHY is it OK for millionaires to file, and get even richer, and NOT OK for the working class? What type of COOLAID are you people drinking? It is a BUSINESS decision. It is NOT a crime. It is NOT immoral. STOP this madness and get a grip on the reality, the PURPOSE of why we have BK laws. THEN, and ONLY then, will you be able to clear your mind and focus of GEETING THE BEST BANG out of your filing, to give you the BEST start over in a new LIFE. 'STOP THE MADNESS, PEOPLE!". Best regards~

While you are correct that it is a business decision, it still can be emotional. Also, many of us feel guilty for the poor spending habits that came before the job loss or similar life event. I wouldn't have had to file BK after my layoffs had I been wiser and not accumulated so much debt... so yes, I was hard on myself when I had to file.

You are right, but sometimes detaching from those emotions is easier said than done.

[IamIrene]

A little update from me (since I started the thread and all)...

We got our Federal Refund - it is enough to do some much needed repairs to our cars, house, and make the final payment to our lawyer so we can at last file (and we are absolutely documenting how every penny is being spent).

I will be asking my lawyer when we meet, but since this is such an amazing resource, thought I'd see what others here may have experienced; our mortgage is an ARM and we are upside-down as well, but not behind in any payments. We have included it in the bankruptcy. What I don't know is what will happen then? Will our lawyer suggest refinance (with his help - he mentioned something like that in our first meeting)? Should we stop making payments at the time of filing? How does it work? I know we qualify to keep the house and would like to, but just not sure how it will "pan out", kwim?

[shark66]

If you're intent on keeping the house, you should maintain the mortgage payments.

You should NOT re-affirm the debt.

What I'm proposing is usually referred to as "stay & pay"...the debt is officially discharged, but you're continuing to pay the mortgage and are not moving out. Should the bank get crazy with itself and jack up your ARM, you walk away with no consequences.

Refinancing is really not an option here...at least not in my opinion, and not anytime soon, if ever...

Good luck.

[keystone58]

I know exactly what you're going through Irene. I never thought I would have to file for bankruptcy either, but my wife lost her job, and really had no other choice. I tried to negotiate with the banks and they would rather take you to court than get any of their money back, they're ruthless and couldn't care less about you. We're not alone, my lawyer said the number of her clients have skyrocketed over the past 2 years. I was really depressed, especially when the collection calls started and were non-stop for 6 months. I don't regret filing one bit, I just wish I had done it sooner. Just thank God we still have the opportunity to have a fresh start in this country.

[occi]

Hi, I see you are in Oregon.. Peacehealth Riverbend in the Eugene/Springfield area has lots of postings for RN's, maybe something your husband can look into.
It is a large hospital.

[IamIrene]

Hi, I see you are in Oregon.. Peacehealth Riverbend in the Eugene/Springfield area has lots of postings for RN's, maybe something your husband can look into.
It is a large hospital.

Thank you, occi. I really appreciate your suggestion and kindness in posting this. However, those listing require 1 - 2 years of experience and they don't bend an inch on that requirement. He has been applying steadily for positions there, all over the state, and the country. In 18 months, he had 2 interviews - got the 520 hour contract at one of them, the other - a great position swiped out from under him at the very last second by a career nurse with the union who "wanted to give it a try".

I really appreciate the suggestion though. Any others would be welcome as well. It's hard for people outside the healthcare industry to really understand the problem because there IS a nursing shortage...but it is for experienced nurses only. No one is hiring new-grads. No one. But he keeps applying. And he's looking for ANY work at this point. Our area is just hosed for employment in general...which is the major contributing factor to our situation. We are looking nationally and are completely willing to move too. It just really sucks right now.