Planning for Ch 7, now divorce is in the cards.....what to do?

[DirkDiggler]

My wife and I are in the process of planning to file Ch. 7. We have been waiting for income to drop off to pass the means test and go forward....now we are thinking of divorcing. What should we do? Wait until after we are discharged? File separately? My only concern is if I end up having to move out....how would that work with all the monthly expenses, or should we just try and wait (until December or later) to move out? Thanks

[btbeme]

I know of a highly respected attorney with 35+ years of experience who flat refused to take any BK case where the prospect of divorce during the proceedings was a possibility. He was emphatic about it.

Not that I claim to know why, specifically, but somehow I got the impression that he felt that it made a difficult situation (BK) much more difficult, and that he had earned the right to turn down such cases.

There are several posts herein that discuss such situations. My best advice would be to read those and make sure you discuss the legal and financial options with your BK attorney openly and as a couple before making any decision.

[angelasdad]

Judges will continue your case until the BK is settled and discharged before they will close the divorce case. The BK can interfere with property division, money issues, etc. It wouldn't matter how you file, probably easier and cheaper to file together.

[IamOld]

Dirk, that's a very sad thing to hear...I just send you my best wishes. If there are kids involved, there is another board like this one that you may be interested in...

[BananaCabana]

My husband and I are in the same position. We are sure that we will be divorcing, we are not sure when. Financially it is cheaper for us to file the BK together, especially since we have already paid for the Ch. 7 and have the money saved if we decide to pay for the Ch. 13. Now that I have lost my job and may have to move to another city to get work the situation is even more difficult. Originally, we were going to file the BK then the divorce when all the new finances were worked out. Other than moving to seperate bedrooms the living situation and finances were staying pretty much the same until we filed and finalized the BK. That is still the plan except now we may have to try and support two households if I get this job that is 4-5 hours away. And yes, we do have kids which makes things even stickier.

Basically, we have decided to be as "logical" as possible with the whole thing and try to deal with this as though the whole thing is a business. Hopefully, we will both be able to come out of this as postively as possible. We have been able to keep most emotions out of our decisions so far, but that may not be possible for others going through the same situations. I can say that I have been upfront with my lawyer about the fact that I want a divorce after the BK is done. She never batted an eye. Of course, we have had her paid for over 1.5 years now and have still not actually filed. We are still waiting for the "opportune moment". Trust me when I say that I am ready to move forward with my life so the waiting can be hard.

[IamOld]

You know everyone financial stress is a GREATER cause for divorce now than infidelity - I'll just leave it at that.

And I wonder if we're allowing the banksters, etc., to destroy our relationships. And I speak as one that is going to a shrink and is in counseling cause I don't want spouse and I to split.

[mountanddo]

I don't know about being the cause of divorce but I do think that financial stress will show you how strong your marriage really is and very quickly! If your marriage ends because of a BK my guess is that it would of died a slower death sooner or later. Just another way to look at it.

[DirkDiggler]

Thank you for all the replies....our BK hasn't been the "catalyst" of a divorce.....but I tend to think that if we werent facing BK, it might be easier to stay......I guess I'm looking at the BK as a fresh start, in more ways than just financially. Being that we don't have many assets other than personal household stuff, and won't have any financial obligations other than some private student loans and our 2 vehicles after the BK, it just kind of "makes sense" to split now and go our separate ways with a clean slate so to speak.

I'm fairly certain that we can both be adult about everything and we both want to maintain a friendship which will help raise our son in a good co-parenting relationship. I'm thinking just keep going as planned with the BK and then deal with the other monster afterward.

Like I said the only sticking point would be if things got bad enough where I need to move out, how to account for some additional expenses that would be kind of out of the ordinary from our normal routine and how the trustee would view that (more fast food, more household item purchases, etc) and if the knowledge of a divorce would change our filing at all in the view of the trustee....

[daytona]

It is better to file together and also while the divorce is going on in almost all cases. BK lays all money issues on the table, so there is little to argue about in the divorce proceedings on that front. Many times you can utilize 2 households for expenses which helps on means test, and finally the BK court does not usually want to have anything to do with the Divorce proceedings. Any child support and/or alimony issues can be used to your advantage as well in some cases...