New here. Starting BK. TERRIFIED.

[Hopeless]

Perhaps the name I've chosen says it all. I am absolutely at my wit's end and am happy to have found a place to read the stories of others in similar circumstances and have a chance to share.

I am in over - GULP - 80k in debt. 5 credits cards. Total at this point must be closer to 85K.

To make a long story short - piled this debt up over the last few years. I had struggled with a difficult pregnancy, was hospitalized and eventually miscarried. Then my now ex-husband dropped the bomb about his girlfriend and divorce. (At least they got married, so it wasn't like he destroyed our life of 14 years together for nothing, right? At least that is what I tell myself!!)

He had a lawyer, I didn't. I was under psychiatric care, on about 3 different medications, and just signed whatever was in front of me. I worked on and off, but mostly OFF for the last few years. Living off the cards, using them to pay rent and everything else.

The bottom line is that the debt is all in my name, I own it and I realized borrowing "from Peter to pay Paul" was not working and had to stop.

So I decided BK was the only option. I have a part time job making 8.50 an hour.

I had a free consultation at a place called Macey & Aleman, legalhelpers.com. The lawyer said he felt I had a good shot at Chapter 7.

I have no home, no car. NOTHING. My friend is allowing me to stay in his basement until I can somehow get on my feet.

As much as I have been through in my life, this is one of the most frightening times I've experienced and the anxiety is taking such a toll. I hardly sleep, can't eat. I am a WRECK.

It is not something I ever wanted to do and it's drove me to feel like giving up altogether.

I'm afraid that given the amount I owe, the debt will NOT be discharged. And THEN where will I be.

A friend has "gifted" me the money to pay the lawyer quickly as to avoid being hauled into court. I haven't made any payments to anyone since August/September. Last purchase would have been to the grocery store, around $60 in November.

Am I foolish to even attempt to file given the debt? Will this just be an ongoing nightmare, money spent for no reason when they tell me, "NO WAY, we are NOT discharging," or is there any ray of hope?

Any thoughts or advice will be so much appreciated.

I thank you in advance for taking the time to read this.

[LostOne0069]

OK, WHOAH... calm.... calm... take a deep breath.... in...... out....... in..... out....

Now, it's going to be OK. I can tell you from personal experience that it's going to be OK. I just got discharged (meaning finished) my chapter 7 filing for over 125k in unsecured debt and another $50k in secured debt... I now don't owe anyone so much as a penny.... and I don't have the excuse of getting divorced or illness that you do.

From your descriptions, You have what I would call a "slam dunk" chapter 7 case. I can't imagine you having any problems getting discharged. "a good shot" at chapter 7? at 8.50/hour... part time? I don't see how you could possibly have any difficulty with it.

MOST attorneys give free first consultations for bankruptcy... go to 3 or 4 of them, bring all the info you have on your debt, income and finances and see what they have to say.

But either way, the bottom line is to not worry yourself back into the hospital. everything's going to be OK.... the creditors can't do anything to you, you don't make enough money for them to garnish your wages... and last I heard they can't take away your birthday or cancel Christmas.

Relax, sit back... surf around through this site and you'll find a TON of people who have gone through problems similar to yours... or worse... and have come out doing fine. Really. There are a lot of good people here who have lots of good information... ask whatever questions you like and someone will try to help.... or tell you where you can get help.

Welcome to the site... and realize that everyone here has been there or is right there with you.... we understand and care.

[Hopeless]

Obvious panic?!

I cannot thank you enough, LostOne, for the encouraging words. I didn't realize just how obvious my complete and total panic was even when I'm writing! I know it's obvious to anyone around me because I am visibly shaken. Now I know it shows even on the computer screen :o
This lawyer is only the second I spoke to. The first guy made me feel WORSE. Talking about how STAGGERING the debt is. And that I will be audited for the past FIVE YEARS. And gave me not a hint of reassurance. It took me 3 more months to seek out another because I was so distraught after that first meeting.
And the calls. Creditors telling me it's ABUSE and FRAUD! I 'used the cards when I had no way of paying and was over the limit and not able to send the minimum and therefor it is FRAUD and I will be SUED and NO WAY will even one debt be discharged' and...on and on..
The collectors make me want to throw myself off a building. Words like FRAUD and ABUSE scare the you-know-what out of me. I mean, the last cash advance was in 2005 or early 2006 and I have not one luxury item or a damn thing to show for all this. But when those words start flying they stick to me.
And I panic more and think, " I DID use them when I wasn't working and I ran up this debt and it IS abuse and it's HOPELESS! I'm DONE! They're right!There is no way out!"
I spend so much time researching and see all the horror stories. And my fear and shame and humiliation just grows and grows. Once upon a time I had great credit and the bottom fell out and life got out of control and here I sit.
This second lawyer wasn't condescending or downright cruel like the first one, that is for sure. The first place I went really threw me. I mean, I KNOW it's a "staggering" amount and already feel like a complete failure, I really don't need a stranger telling me so! At least this new lawyer said there was a chance of a new start. I guess if I owed 8,500 instead of 85,000 I might start believing that.
So it is time for me to pay this firm or find another, quickly. (Every day I am told that I am about to be subpoenaed to go to court, so I live in fear of the doorbell...)
I'm rambling. Sorry I'm just overwhelmed and not sure what is coming next.
Thank you, again. I actually got teary when I read the reply because it made me feel less alone and less attacked and gave me a feeling of comfort that I haven't felt.

[JollyGG]

It will be fine. I know the absolute worst part of the bankruptcy for my husband and I was the two weeks we took deciding to do it. We felt horrible. But once we actually filed and there was no going back everything got so much easier. The process is actually a little anti-climatic after all the worry, fear and stress that goes into the decision. Like Lost said take a deep breath it will be alright. It sounds like you have good friends and It sounds like you are putting your life together. This is just one step in the process. Take care of yourself first. The bankruptcy will be much better than you are dreading.

[BK'd-Betty]

I bet the 1st Lawyer you went to wasn't very experienced in matters of BK. $85,000 is a lot - but wow - not the highest amount of debt I've ever seen in my life - and as a BK attorney surely he has seen more - he obviously has no marketing skills as he scared you away, rather than retain you as a client.

You're better off without him.

Many before you have had much more debt - trust me!

Ours was $135,000 unsecured and $400,000 secured. That's over 1/2 million dollars. It took 9 months, but we did get a discharge.

Does that make you see your $85,000 a little differently?

Hang in there, you'll be just fine!

[ChainSmokin]

Much of it is due to the fear of the unknown.

[LostOne0069]

Just remember, even if for some reason they tell you that you can't have a discharge.. that doesn't prove fraud... this is bankruptcy court, not criminal court. Even if the credit card companies sue... it would be civil court, not criminal court... And what's the worst they can do? Get a judgement against you... which does pretty much nothing as you don't make enough for the court to allow them to garnish your wages.

Please, don't worry about it... ignore that first attorney, he's an idiot. Relax and try not to worry about it too much. Everything's gonna be fine.

[pv34pv3p]

Ya know...This and a few other post in the the last 8 or 9 months since I found this place...make me wonder what it was like before forums like this existed...

How many lives have been devestated or perhaps even lost because there was nowhere to turn for such a variety of experience and support???

Prior to the net and wonderful people like ya'll, where the hell would someone turn?

Family and friends are more than likely too personally involved and probably lack the been there...done that to be of any really sound advice...And Lawyers??? Even though mine was apparently very competent...had the personality and compassion of a bent trashcan...and every word out of his mouth had a 10 paragraph disclaimer attached to it...

I guess they gotta be like that though...I've never been what anyone would consider a worry wort...but if not for the folks here...I might have worked myself into a bit of a froth...

To Hopeless...The folks here are worth a million bucks and it's 100% exempt! And to ya'll...Your experience, strength, wisdom, and caring are priceless...

pv34pv3p(Mind still boggles on how it must have been before the net...)

[Hopeless]

YOU ALL - Priceless & wonderful

When I was reading pv34's note I was nodding in agreement - until I found this I really had no "support" at all. You can find plenty of articles about BK and general information, but for me most of it made me feel more terrified and lower than I already felt. When I came across this I felt there was a place I could finally turn where I wasn't going to be judged, a place to find moments of comfort and encouragement.

"Total strangers" we are, in the sense of never "meeting." Yet there is this common ground and unity. I have to say this is a wonderful and very caring group.

Lost, Jolly, Betty, Chainsmokin (I can related to that! After having been clear of cigarettes for so long, I've become a chimney..), pv...EVERYONE. I cannot tell you how much I appreciate you taking the time to help me, inform me, encourage me, calm me.

This is only just starting for me - the legal part of it, anyway. And I AM terrified and can't help feel with my luck my case will be a worst case scenario! (Sorry, but it's so hard to feel positive these days.) But still and all, I feel grateful to have this resource, to have all you great people.

No doubt I will be spending a lot of time here!

[SinkingFast]

Ya know...This and a few other post in the the last 8 or 9 months since I found this place...make me wonder what it was like before forums like this existed...

How many lives have been devestated or perhaps even lost because there was nowhere to turn for such a variety of experience and support???

Prior to the net and wonderful people like ya'll, where the hell would someone turn?

Family and friends are more than likely too personally involved and probably lack the been there...done that to be of any really sound advice...And Lawyers??? Even though mine was apparently very competent...had the personality and compassion of a bent trashcan...and every word out of his mouth had a 10 paragraph disclaimer attached to it...

I guess they gotta be like that though...I've never been what anyone would consider a worry wort...but if not for the folks here...I might have worked myself into a bit of a froth...

To Hopeless...The folks here are worth a million bucks and it's 100% exempt! And to ya'll...Your experience, strength, wisdom, and caring are priceless...

pv34pv3p(Mind still boggles on how it must have been before the net...)

I have a GF who, she and her Hubby filed over 20 years ago. She didn't know a thing. They went thru the motions. Did what the attny told them to do. Showed up at the 341 when told. Their attny couldn't be there but sent a sub in his place. The Lady sub prepped them on how to answer the general questions the Trustee would ask.

GF said she really didn't have a clue what was going on. Just that they got their debt discharged and life went on.

They heard how other people paid outrageous interest rates for cars and credit to get reestablished. They refused to do that. It took them YEARS to recoup.

Thank goodness this website exists so we can meet and share. The support and exchange of info and ideas is GREAT!!

[jane taylor]

Hi,

Although I'm not as well-versed as some of the others here, it does seem to me that you could do a Chapter 7. Unfortunately, even with megadollars worth of medical expenses, my husband and I could not file Chapter 7. We own our home and a couple of vehicles, plus "make too much money."

What I do know is that you are NOT hopeless! This has been one of the hardest times in my life, professionally, personally, financially, physically, and as a parent, but with God's help, my friends, and a stubborn streak a mile long, I have made it this far.

You will, too, my friend. You are not alone. Feel free to PM anytime you need a cybershoulder to cry on. I completely understand the anxiety and sleepless nights.

Hang in there and God bless!

Peace,
jane