I feel so bad & embarrassed

[NAL123]

Since my problem has to do more with compulsive spending due to Manic Depression/Bipolar as well as other issues.

The wrong type of meds sent me manic and made me go out of control. I am lucky I haven't ended up in jail or lost my job as of yet.

If I don't file, it will take me at least 64 months at $1,600 a month to pay off all of the credit card debt according to a debt payoff calculator on Bankrate.com. I also ran up a huge balance on AMEX Charge that you must pay in full that is now close to $5,000 with $2,500 as of today due by May 3. I am trying to return stuff around $150 a day so I can net the AMEX amount to close to 0.

I don't know if I should file or not. Alot depends on whether I get the job offer that I think I may get. But I may be getting fired from my current position. If I get termed, there won't be any way to pay much of this CC debt especially if my present company contests my unemployment claim.

I know that this sounds crazy, but I can't believe I got myself into this mess.

[demismom]

Hang in there - a lot of us can't believe we got ourselves into the messes we did. My FIL is also Bipolar, so I've seen first hand what it can do, he ended up filing in 1998, lost pretty much everything they owned, but he's on medicine now and actually has money SAVED! Not much, but considering where they were just 11 years ago, I think that's a HUGE difference.

[juststupid]

Don't be embarrassed, we all got ourselves into a mess that we couldn't climb out of. And honestly, if it would be a hardship to pay the 1600 a month than you should file. There is no shame in admitting you've messed up. And there is alot to be proud of for taking the step to file and ease your burden.

[CATCHMEIFYOUCAN]

Yeah, I'm just a dumbass myself. No need to feel as dumb as me. I'm no manic depressive. I'm a gambling fool ! But thank goodness I don't have the cc's anymore. Damn, I'm still a gambling fool ! You'll get through this buddy !

Best Wishes "Catchmeifyoucan!"

[whatamess]

Done feel bad

We all have our issues. Its all good!
BUT, you know, millions of people mess up all the time. Dont be so hard on yourself! I have suffered horrible bouts of depression in the past. Took Paxil for years. My depression looms up again and I have these guilt sprees as well where I want to kick myself a thousand times..
I would bet all you would need to do is explain that you are bipolar to your lawyer and your trustee. PLEASE talke it out with someone too, dont keep it all in. It will be okay!!
WAM

[$$only4ever]

Stop beating yourself up. Most of us are here because we screwed up and made bad choices. Take a step back and try to take the emotion out of the situation. Then try to decide whether or not to file bankruptcy. I will be honest with you. Filing bankruptcy was one of the worst times in my life. That was 2 years ago. I have 3 more years to go, but now I am glad that I did it. I definitely see a light at the end of a very long tunnel. Once, I am discharged, I will be debt free and plan to stay that way. Good Luck with whatever decision you make.

[spell]

Here's an outside view on your situation.
Don't go through with the filing until you know you're through with debt.
Your situation could be looked on as similar to any other current medical condition or half way through a divorce. I'd advise either of those situations to be sure it's over before filing as well