BK a blessing in disguise?

[CastleKnight]

I have been very reflective after our filing date last week. I am past the anxious,scared, manic state I was in trying to decide to file, when to file, which chapter to file etc..... I am actually quite calm and at peace about the whole BK. I feel very blessed that we in the US have an out for those of us that have given their all, tried thier best, worked like dogs and still find themselves in deep unending debt. What would we do without the BK option? Live in the anxious scared fragile state of infinite debt until we die. I for one am very thankful and feel blessed that we get a clean start....difficult as it may be it is a second chance at a new life. BK seems to have such a negative connotation I am trying to have it be a positive part of my life.I was curious if anyone esle shared a similar view?

[jmstay]

For those who can get the clean start. Beign forced into a 13 when you barley exceed the median income by 15k and have no assets is nothing more that a sentance to debtors hell for 5 years.

I am keeping my fingers crossed.

[CastleKnight]

I hope all goes well for you. We were able to qualify for the Chapter 7 after my husband battled and won over a brain tumor. With many doctor bills and job loss we were a 7.
After we survived the illness/ surgery......the rest seems do-able. At least 5 years is a finite amount of "hell"" as opposed to drowning in debt for a lifetime.I wish you the best of luck and hope you can soon see some light at the end of your struggle.

[FreshLikeADaisy]

I was curious if anyone esle shared a similar view?

I think everyone here, depending on their personalities, shares your feelings. No one wants to go belly up, no one I've read yet looked at it as an "easy out" (if they do they're not saying so ) and after the filing is in and the paperwork is done, yes, there's a vast sense of relief... might have something to do with being able to answer the phone again and look in the mailbox without having to worry about multi-legged creditors crawling out at you.

[One Half Full]

I've been trying to keep a good attitude also. And other than to say I don't think this would have happened to anyone in any country OTHER than the US-- which is negative. Sadly, what can I think in light of predatory interest rates and the fact that housing is so high that you have to be a doctor to afford it. Since most Western countries have socialized health care and pensions, even the poorest citizen will not go broke due to medical bills. Also the gap between "wealthy" and "poor" is not as drastic as it is here.

[krielly]

At least 5 years is a finite amount of "hell"" as opposed to drowning in debt for a lifetime.I wish you the best of luck and hope you can soon see some light at the end of your struggle.

I could not agree more. Being in a 60 month 13 is a lot of hard work, but I am so greatful to have the opportuntity to get a clean slate, and at least can see the light at the end of the tunnel when it's over with......30% or so to unsecureds for us will make all the difference in the world.

I've had to learn to live differently and without credit cards, which although really really tough, is doable. Nice to have gone through a couple credit card free xmas's now. Sure makes January a whole lot less stressful!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We are only 26 mos into a 60 mo plan, but I'm so happy there was a way out of this mess.

[keepmine]

I realize we're all wired differently but, I spent no time feeling guilty or depressed.
I looked at this thing as a cold hard business decision and acted in what I considered my best interest.
Sort of like the CEO's of all those airlines and other corps. who filed bk in order to break union contracts and used bk to slash benefits to retirees.

[CastleKnight]

Thanks for sharing your thoughts. It makes me feel stronger to know others out there are taking control and not feeling defeated by the BK process.

[BKcrazy]

Ah, good days and bad days with everything in life. I've been telling myself all night, ding dong my debt is gone! Well, soon right?

Google famous people that went bankrupt. It's interesting and you know, there are a lot of people that still went on to be successful after filing bk. Even though the laws were different, they survived and so can we.

[chpxiii]

I just feel blessed for my whole life, period. It's no charmed life by any stretch of the imagination, but it's blessed.

[CastleKnight]

Amen! We are blessed in so many ways that are not material. I was blessed this Nov. when my husbands tumor was removed and was not cancer. I tell myself everyday I would rather be in BK than at Chemo treatments with my husband. Life altering is much better than life ending events.

[Bandit]

I tell myself everyday I would rather be in BK than at Chemo treatments with my husband.

Some people get both the chemo treatments & BK at the same time, along with losing the house, the car, losing a loved one, divorce & then lose their job. I really don't know how some people do it when the whole roof falls in at the same time.

I don't see all those things as blessings but understand why some people do.
I have a very dual personality & see things as both rain & sun, positive & negative, good days bad days, happy times & sad times so for me BK has a blessing but also leaves a scar that never goes away.

But I must agree, I would rather be in a BK than have an illness or accident that cripples me badly for life, in & out of Doctors every week as the weeks turn into months & the months turn into years of constant pain. The bottom of my heart goes out to the people who indeed suffer with long physical pain & illness far more than any of the other sad things that can happen, including lifes final breath. I just do not understand.

[Catriona]

This is a very uplifting thread, and one that I needed to read. The paperwork for my BK went in on Thursday and frankly, I've been bummed about this because I don't like failing at anything, including financial management. My trustee, however, reframed this for me as a fresh start, and that everyone deserves a second chance. It's the only thing in my life that resembles a "reset button" and I can look forward to a year of stress-free finances. I guess it's true that when one door closes, another opens.

[CastleKnight]

I hope we can all look at BK with a positive hopeful attitude. The indecision and fear I had before filing was much more stressful. We will have our 341 on 1-25-08....I hope I still feel postive after that meeting.I just feel better knowing we are doing something about the "money mess" instead of digging a bigger and deeper financial hole.I hope everyone regardless of thier circumstances has a Very Merry Christmas and a New Year filled with new beginnings!

[nazstar]

I guess I just see it as money - mostly. I work with some fairly large numbers at work and my trainee came to me white-faced this week. She wired out money from the wrong account to the tune of $1,100,000. I just shrugged and said, "ok. chill out. let's call the back office and just issue a recall. no biggie." She was flipping but I knew it was an easily fixable problem because she caught it so early. She was almost in tears and I had to bring her into my office and I told her, "look. It's money - not open heart surgery. no one died. Just take a deep breath and relax. At least you got this type of mistake outta the way and now I know you won't make it again".

I have to take that same attitude with my personal situation. I didn't care about the hit to my credit. I didn't care about losing the house, I didn't care about budgeting to the skin of my teeth. I do regret that it takes a little fun away from my hubby and I. With all the stress, a young infant and another on the way, I admit there are nights when I wish we had the cash to hire a sitter and go get a nice dinner. I also had to kick myself in the butt because I started to get depressed about Christmas presents. But, at the end of the day, it's money and we learned from our mistakes so what can I do? I can't turn back the clock.

I just try to be thankful that we are healthy and have a beautiful baby girl and another healthy baby on the way. I remind myself that I am lucky to have a marriage where I can wake up each morning next to my best friend. I look at my daughter's wonder over the simple things like Christmas lights and smile and imagine how perfect it would be to live in her world sometimes. And then I let myself slip into her world where "peek-a-boo rules" and it makes the bk just seem so insignificant.